𝙎𝙋𝘼𝙍𝙆𝙎; 𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙠 𝙨𝙡𝙤𝙖𝙣

|| 48 ||

"Nat, sit down." Mark insisted. "You're supposed to be resting."

"I am fine." Natalie refused ignoring the pain at her thigh from standing up for too long.

"Are you though?" Mark asked. He wanted to help her, but she wasn't talking to him. They hadn't talked about the baby they had lost at all.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Natalie shrugged.

"Are you seriously asking me that?" Mark raised his voice and when he realised that he did, he tried to calm down. He was hurting so much, but he was masking it since Natalie didn't seem willing to share her feelings with him. "We haven't talked about it. At all. About anything that happened."

"Have it occurred to you that I might not want to talk about it?" Natalie exclaimed angrily.

"We both lost something..." Mark tried.

"No, I did." Natalie finally yelled. "I lost something. I couldn't keep it safe long enough. I lost it."

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

And two days later the situation was still the same. "Crap!" Natalie yelled from the kitchen.

"Mom, are you okay?" Amber rushed downstairs, only to find her with a broken plate on the floor.

"I broke it." Natalie bent down to pick up the pieces. "Goddammit. I broke it." She yelled.

"Mom, it's fine, it's just a plate." Amber got to her level and tried to stop her from getting herself hurt.

"No, it's-" Natalie cried. "I can't keep anything safe. Everything I touch gets destroyed. Everything."

"Hey, what's going on?" Mark joined them in the kitchen only to find Natalie having a breakdown over a broken plate.

"Bring me some glue, I can fix this." Natalie pushed Amber away.

"Mom, please, it's fine..." Amber stood up and took a step back, feeling scared.

"Hey, hey, leave it." Mark rushed at Natalie's side and took her hands away. "You're gonna cut yourself."

"No, Amber, bring me some glue." Natalie repeated and Amber took another step back as tears started streaming down her face. "I can put it back together."

"Nat-" 

"No!" Natalie got her hands off Mark's grip and picked up the broken pieces.

"You're gonna hurt yourself." 

"Ah." Natalie cried when a rough piece cut her palm. "I just wanted to fix this."

"I know, I know." Mark said softly and grabbed her hand to see the depth of the cut. "Hey, look at me." He gave his attention to her, as she had started sobbing. "It's fine. I know it hurts, but we're gonna get through this, okay? Together. Okay?"

Natalie nodded her head. "Okay." 

"Breathe with me. In." They took a deep breath together, Mark guiding her. "And out."

Once Natalie was calm enough to realise what she had done, she looked at her daughter. Amber was standing against the wall, scared and she was looking at them with tears in her eyes. And Natalie hated herself for making Amber more scared than she already was after everything. 

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

"Amber? Can I come in?" A few hours later Natalie knocked on her daughter's bedroom door. Mark had calmed her down enough and all Natalie wanted to do was check up on Amber.