The First ~10K~ (book 3)

12.) Mixed Feelings

Zoey POV—

I wasn't trying to be a bitch. I was just trying to distance myself from Tommy for a while. Just until I wrapped my head around everything.

It was a total bombshell when he told me he wanted to try with me. I mean, I always wanted him to say it and I wanted to know he felt the same way, but it was just so sudden. And weird.

He showed me a picture of his wife. How was I supposed to take that? It was almost like he was asking her permission to move on and I don't know how I felt about it. He was still in love with her. How can he move on if he still loves her?

I've asked myself if I still love Pete. The answer is simple; no. I was at one point, but the minute he killed that little boy, I knew I couldn't love him anymore. As horrible as he was, it still sucked to have my heart broken by him.

I didn't want to talk to Tommy, not yet. It was hard enough being around him constantly.

I finished setting up our homemade water filter and let the water drain through it. It would take a while, so I decided to check in on Ashlyn. I was worried about her. She went through something horrific and she locked herself away.

I walked to the bedroom door and knocked gently. No reply. I softly pushed the door open. The room was dark and stuffy.

"Ashlyn?" I called out in a soft voice. I didn't want to startle her. "Can I come in?"

Still no reply. I entered the room anyway and closed the door a smidge, leaving it opened a crack to let in some air.

Ashlyn was laying on the bed, her back facing the door. She didn't have to covers on or anything, she was just laying there, motionless and silent.

I sat on the bed, watching her. She acted like she didn't even hear me.

"Ashlyn? Sweetie?" I whispered, pulling my legs under me. "Come on, this isn't okay."

Still nothing. I closed my eyes and sighed before I laid next to her, propping my head up on my hand. If she didn't want to talk, fine, but I wasn't leaving. I wanted her to know I was here. Even though it should've been her father.

"I'm gonna lay right next to you, okay? You don't have to talk if you don't want to, but I'm here." I said gently. I wanted to stroke her hair, but I doubt she wanted to be touched.

I heard Ashlyn take in a big breath of air and hold it. Was she crying? She let it out and I heard it shake. Yup, she was crying.

"Ash," I said, finally placing a hand on her back. "Ashlyn, look at me."

I felt her body trembling. My heart ached at this. Those pricks. If I hadn't killed them they would be dead for sure by now if I got a hold of them.

I rubbed small circles on Ashlyn's back, listening to her soft cries.

"Talk to me, Ashlyn. Please," I said.

"I want my dad," I heard her whisper through a sob.

A pang of jealousy ran through me. Of course she wants him. Why would she want me to comfort her? I wasn't her mother. I wasn't her sister. I was just...somebody.

I got up, glancing back at her to see if she would move. She didn't.

I exited the room and saw Tommy sitting on the back deck through the glass door. I sighed. So much for avoiding him.

I opened the door a smidge and tapped on the glass lightly to get Tommy's attention. His head turned to me, his eyes lighting up.

"Ashlyn wants you." I said dryly before shutting the door.