Cuddle Buddies - Niko Vilhelm Moilanen | Blind Channel

I want to apologize

„But... I said very bad things about them that aren't true. Not only that I said their song was pure blast I also said it doesn't have any meaning, just some drug dealing bad boys singing and rapping about their life. I watched some interviews and I found out this song has an actual meaning. Actually, a very important one. You know, that everyone is welcome, no matter who you are. And that you should enjoy life even though some mean people don't want you to and rather want you to suffer as an outsider. Also, I love the idea of this song being a space for all the frustration one feels.

Maybe I do not really enjoy the sound but I can't deny its message has to be spread. And by watching all the interviews and videos about them, I realized they are actually quite cool dudes. Maybe I don't agree with every word they say and every action they do, especially drinking that much alcohol in front of sometimes young kids who see them as their role model but otherwise, they are really nice. What I definitely appreciate is that they talk about their weaknesses. Like Joel's ADHD and Insomnia. I'm sure that are really honest, caring boys everyone would love to have as a friend", Anna explained.

„Well... What should I say now apart from agreeing with you?", I asked her and now I smiled genuinely. I'm sure her apology was meant serious and came from her heart. By now I knew her well enough to read her body language and it right now it screamed „I'm so sorry, please forgive my stupid behavior!" „They are really cool dudes. I don't know everyone that well but you know, Tommi has been my best friend for years, I've already told you about Niko and I met the other boys at a band practice again and they seemed to be funny but also caring as well."

„Yeah, from what I know about them, they do really seem like that", she smiled. „God, Sofia, I'm so relieved you forgave me!", she suddenly said and pulled me in a close hug again. I let go of my suitcase for a moment to wrap both of my arms around her. „Yeah, I'm happy as well. It was annoying to me that this made us not text each other for weeks." „Oh yes, me too. But as I realized my mistake after a few days, I didn't want to text you, I wanted to apologize when I see you in person. Which is now."

„So that's why you asked if I took the same train as always?", I suddenly remembered. „Of course! What else did you think?", she asked laughing. „I don't know", I giggled. „God, it feels good to see you again after weeks!" „Definitely! But know that we didn't chat for weeks, you have to tell me everything! Have you met the boys again, especially Niko? He was the one caring about you after that birthday, right?" „Yeah, exactly. But Anna, there is a lot I have to tell you! It's only a few more minutes until we reach my apartment and you probably have to prepare for university as well, I don't think I can tell everything in that short amount of time!"

„Oh, that's no problem", Anna grinned. „I knew you'd have to tell me a lot. That's why I already prepared everything and today I have time to help you unpack your stuff, reorganize everything in your apartment and of course have a looong talk with my friend about that one boy. There is something between you two, am I right?", Anna asked and winked at me. „Well.. It's difficult. But why do you know that?", I wondered. „Well, you should have seen yourself when I mentioned his name. Your cheeks instantly turned redder than a tomato!"

„Oh." That was what I answered. I didn't know what else to say because probably she was right. I was sure I truly blushed. Because every time I think of him, my heart jumps and starts beating faster, so why shouldn't I also blush? And since I didn't wear make up at all, you of could see my reddish cheeks. „So, tell me everything about that man that occupies your mind!", she asked me to go in detail as I turned the key around in the lock and pushed the door to my apartment open.

„Where should I start? I guess after our call...", I thought for a moment. „Well, yeah. As you can imagine, we met quite often, like, almost every second day. I love to have deep conversations with him but it's also always funny with him. Oh, and he has a cat. Rommi. That little guy is the definition of cuteness and the way Niko treats her is so sweet as well. But back to our meetings. Sometimes I visited the boys at their studio and received a private gig and you can belief me, they are amazing when they play live. But to be honest.. Most of the time we spend just cuddling and whispering about different topics but mostly music", I explained before I lost myself in details about who comfortable I felt around him.

„So, yeah, now we are something like cuddle buddies. But I think there is more between us. Yesterday we... we kissed", I stopped talking and looked at my brown haired friend. „What?! You kissed?! And you haven't told me about that earlier?!", Anna screamed. „Shhht!", I tried to calm her down, „my neighbors don't want and need to hear that!" „That's true but doesn't matter now! My girl is gonna have her first boyfriend!", she said excitedly.

„Well no, that's the problem. I don't know what Niko wants but he told me wasn't ready to have a relationship after his last one that kinda destroyed him", I explained before I added the story abut Tommi's doubts and what belonged to it. „Oh girl, that's complicated", Anna sighed. „Oh yes, definitely. But I can't stop admiring him, he's simply too perfect", I whispered.

„But I see you spent your time with different people. You changed a bit. Not only that you seem to be happier and mentally more calm but also your look. Niko has influenced you with that black nail polish, right?", Anna asked me with a smile on her face. Oh yes, that nail polish! I totally forgot about it! My gaze wandered from Anna to my painted nails. I already got used to it in less than a day and didn't really notice it. But I definitely felt comfortable with it, I loved it!

„Oh yes, that's true, I tried black nail polish for the first time. But actually, Niko didn't have to convince me, I wanted to try it myself. To be honest, I wished to do that for years but I've never been brave enough. But now I was and I kinda like it", I told her, hoping she wouldn't think something weird of me now. „It suits you very well! You should wear it more often! I think that whole rock look would suit you very well", Anna encouraged me. „Are you sure? Thank you...", I whispered and looked down at my fingers. Even though she was totally fine with my black nails, I felt a little insecure right now.

„I definitely am! If you need someone to help you at choosing clothes and your cuddle buddy is on Oulu, feel free to ask me for help!", Anna offered me. Probably she was a better friend that I thought on my way here today... I should be happy and thankful for having her! Just as I wanted to thank her again, my phone buzzed and told me I had a new message from Niko:

„I hope you arrived safely <3 If you have time for that, you can call me in the evening and we can talk for some hours."

Wow, I'm FINALLY back with another chapter late at night! I hope I'll manage to update more regularly now but I can't promise. Tell me what you think about this chapter! Did you like it? Would you give Anna a second chance? What do you think will happen next? Special thanks to MyVictim for cheering me up when I didn't feel god and motivating me to write 🖤