"Yeah," you said and pressed your lips against mine. I wasn't expecting it, but I adapted fast without any complaints. Your lips tasted as I remembered. They were still soft and plump, and I wanted more. The first kiss was impetuous, passionate, possessive, but the second was affectionate, endearing, celestial.
My fingers were wandering through your hair, pulling a few strands from time to time, leaving a mess behind. One of your hands was travelling lower and lower down my back, only stopping once it had reached my butt, squeezing one of my butt cheeks. I wanted to protest when you suddenly stopped kissing me, but then I realised you grabbed my hand, pulling me away. We were running through the streets of Monaco to get to your apartment.
In the morning, I was woken up by the sun's rays shining directly into my face. My eyes were wandering all over your bedroom. And Kelly's bedroom, I thought. My eyes stopped at the edge of the bed. I ran my hand lightly over the white silk sheet. It was perhaps even more pleasant to the touch than the view. My hand slid lightly on the white cloth, but in the end, I allowed it again to hide under a duvet that looked like freshly fallen December snow.
I threw my legs over the edge of the bed, stepping on the bushy carpet, which I remember walking on every day. It was so pleasant to do that again. After a while, I gathered my courage and stood up, wrapping one duvet around me.
A smile immediately spread across my lips as I watched you for a moment. Your brown hair was sticking out in all directions. A soft smile played on your face, so I assumed you were dreaming of something delightful. Thanks to the light stubble, you looked a little older than you really are.
I took a few steps to the bed. I knelt with one foot in the duvets so that I would be directly above you and kiss you on the forehead. You looked like an angel. I got up again and left the bedroom. Walking around your and Kelly's place only with the duvet on. Looking at all of these photos on the walls made me feel loathsome. How could I ruin something so precious?
My eyes filled up with tears. I couldn't bear the feeling of self-disgust, contriteness, and regret. I rushed back to the bedroom, where I picked all my stuff in the shortest time possible. I would be lying if I said it wasn't the best night of my life, but it was for sure bitter-sweet. So superb, but so wrong at the same time.
A little did I know when I was running to my apartment, you woke up alone in your bed. Unexpectedly not feeling guilty. I know it was so difficult for you. I'm utterly diverse from Kelly. I know you realised that we still share that connection. I'm pretty sure you felt some kind of connection with Kelly as well. I know you loved her and had so many moments that you cherished.
The thought of Kelly playing on the piano at seven in the morning popped up in your mind. Her laughter when you hugged her from behind. You thought that you were in love, but I guess I proved you wrong. You realised that you have probably never honestly loved Kels. Over time, you learnt how to love her, how to enjoy happy moments with her, but there was the spark missing, and it hit you hard. Kelly deserved the word. You thought that she was worthy of a better man than you. She was worthy of the man that would never cheat on her.
You got back from his daydreaming because you realised that I wasn't lying next to you. Did it even mean something to me, or it was just a one-night stand? Were you just a lover just for one night? So, you got up from your bed and grabbed your phone.
You tried to call me, but you every time reached just my voicemail. "Hey, this is Y/N. You know the routine: I say, "Leave a message. I beep. You talk. You hang up. Now let's get on with it and stop wasting time." My ethereal voice came from the phone. A smile appeared on your face. I was often like this - straight to the point, honest but funny.
"Hey, I... Where are you? You should be here. Why are you not here?" You sighed. Your voice was shaking and sad, but you didn't care. "Did it mean something to you? Please, say it did because it meant a lot to me. I... I should probably get going an-and just let me know that you're okay, at least. Yeah... Bye." I could tell you felt like you were fifteen again, and you just called your crush.
I was lying in my bed, hitting the replay button for the fifth time to hear your message again. I was staring at my bedroom ceiling and thought. If it did mean something to you, would you tell her about it? I wasn't sure. I grabbed my phone and dialled your number.
"I left because you love her. She is all over the place. She is all over you." I admitted when you picked up a phone. "I woke up and... and I got a feeling that you'll belong to her forever." Saying those words wasn't easy especially because I didn't want them to be true. I wanted to be assured that she meant nothing to you, but it seemed like she was your world. Could I compete with that?
"She lives here, so yes, she is all over the place, but trust me, she is not all over me. I learnt how to love her eventually, but she never captured my heart as you did. I won't lie to you. There were moments when I thought she did... But she didn't." I could hear how hard it was for you to admit such a thing out loud.
"Will you... Will you tell her about what happened?" I asked you carefully. I knew I could meet her somewhere, and I couldn't imagine lying in her face, pretending that I wish her the best, pretending that I didn't sleep with her boyfriend. Nevertheless, if I were in Kelly's skin, I would hate myself.
"I'll. She will be back tomorrow morning. I'll tell her everything and break up with her. You were talking slowly. I could hear that you were sad. You didn't want to shatter her heart, neither did I.
I wanted to apologise to her, but then I thought: Would 'sorry' have made any difference?
♥︎daily reminder♥︎
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