The Destiny Against Us : JayWon

Chapter 39.2 Differently

I walked towards him and guided him. Being able to talk to him wakes all kinds of emotions inside me. The butterflies, the whole zoos and blues all together. I felt like he was staring into me, and I confirmed it by glancing at him and seeing him already staring at me.

Just like always, Just like five years ago.

He was in front of our desk, and I freely glanced at him. Just now, I realized more how much he had changed. He is still handsome but has gotten a lot stunning. His features are still intimidating from his eyebrows that he always raise, eyes that look deep as an abyss, colder and serious and lips that pout a little when he talks. Of course, his jaw that perfectly shape, angular, muscular, prominent, and dominant, making him more intimidating.

"You guys can go after your work hours. Ms.Yujin, just keep accepting appointments and email it to me before you leave work," he said that pulled me into reality,

"But Sir, Mrs. Park s-" he cut Ms. Yujin and said, "Keep it from her then." before he walked away.

The word Mrs. Park woke me up from dreamland. I feel like cold water being splashed all over my body, forcing me to wake up, seems like I completely forgot.

"He was married."

My tears pooled my eyes, but I suppressed hard not to let them roll down my cheek.

"Does calling her Mrs. Park hurt?" he asked, after pulling me closer to him and as we stared into each other's eyes, I could feel and see the pain in his, and that's killing me.

That's right, it's hurt. I'm crying because it's hurt. I wish I was her." how could I say that?

"It could have been you.'" he added, sounding strained, with blues and other emotions I could see in his eyes right now, and that broke me into pieces that my tears descended on their own.

That's right, it could be me.

If I just chose him that night, it could be me, and what, everything he has right now would be nothing.

I regret not choosing him, but I will still not choose him if we are still given a chance to go back.

Not, when I am seeing him right now in the right place where he should be and belong, so much better than what I could give him.

"Jay.."I could do is to call him as tears continued to slide down my cheek as I looked at him with pleading eyes.

This is hard, This is wrong.

----

"It would be nice to be a stranger again. Can't we treat each other one?" I said as I looked into his eyes. I couldn't help but reminisce the most nightmares of nightmares scene of my life that broke my heart so much. That night feels like this,

I'm asking him something I don't want to ask and he will grant it. Just how many times should we push each other away? Just how many times destiny want us to hurt each other, we keep getting played by them.

I saw how his expression crumbles as the way he looked at me sent pain and other emotions. It's so heavy, "How can you say that?" he asked with disbelief.

I want to know too? Where are my strengths coming from to hurt us like this? I wanted to know Jay too.

He smiled at me bittersweet couldn't still believe what I'd said. "Is that everything easy to you?" he continued.

"That would be a lot easier." I lied in almost a whisper as my eyes descended another set of tears.

How I have it easy, Love? I waited for you, I yearned for you, I wanted to see you, I missed you for five years, but I ended up asking you to be a stranger.