Things began to grow somewhat hectic in the weeks that followed the unexpectedly pleasant open-house. Phoenix didn't bother scheduling another, as the response from the Deuboe's was so unbelievably positive. He kept saying we were very lucky, that this process was usually tiring and took a long time to succeed. It took awhile for me to agree with him. The Duboe's already set up the banking information, preparing to pay for the house as soon as we said we were ready. As soon as everything was set in stone, Phoenix swung into action. He began pulling folded boxes from the basement and purchasing the cheapest ones he could find at the hardware store. He bought multiple rolls of packing tape too, leaving them in a stack on the mantle. The red plastic caught the corner of my eye every time I walked by. It began to annoy me; the red label was a beacon screaming "You're leaving. You're leaving. You're leaving." I stomped out to the kitchen and pulled a dishrag from one of the drawers, draping it over the tape rolls before walking back to the stairs. Phoenix never asked me about it, and I never said anything about the green towel collecting dust. We had a mutual respect for our own kinds of coping mechanisms. Phoenix slept with his door open now, and I assumed it was because he felt he needed to be on the alert.
The unused table leaf, chairs, sheets, and china were boxed and wrapped first, labeled in my nasty scrawl with a sharpie and stacked precariously in the basement. We spent the days making the house look new again. It was a lot of work and I hated every minute of it, but it kept me from thinking too much and I liked that. Phoenix seemed to be doing better, he was more talkative and always asked me how I was feeling. I was feeling ok; somewhat betrayed but otherwise at peace with the decisions made and the outcomes of them. Maybe this was the change I needed to cope with our loss. As the busy days went on, the house grew more and more empty, adding to the anxiety of leaving my only home.
As July pulled to a close, the weather grew more humid and sticky, making the varnish on the banisters cling to my palms every time I slid down the treacherous staircase. (I learned at an early age to never run down the wooden steps with socks on.) We had to close all of the windows and install the air conditioners stowed away in the attic. Phoenix insisted we leave them behind when we left next week, but I managed to convince him to keep one. Pine trees or not, Google told me the current temperature in Arizona was 92 degrees and that wasn't weather I was willing to endure.
Nora texted me two days before we were set to leave Ohio for good. I was helping Phoenix load all of our belongings into the foyer for when the moving truck arrived. He said sending it before us meant by the time we arrived, jet lagged or not, we could start unpacking. My phone buzzed in my back pocket, and I nearly dropped the box I was carrying. When I flinched and caught myself, Phoenix gave me a weird look to which I shrugged off. Placing down the box full of loud, clicking glassware, I pulled out my phone.
How's packing going?
I smiled and typed out a quick response before going back down into the basement to grab more boxes.
Good, but it's taking forever.
My phone went off before I had a chance to make it up the stairs. I made the trip two more times before checking the message. Phoenix made two piles of boxes: things to keep, and things to leave for Nora and her family. I didn't ask and he didn't say. After all, we had enough things for four people, not two.
Same. Velma peed all over my clothes before I had a chance to pack them so now I have to wash them again.
I laughed and leaned against the doorway to the living room, texting her back.
Phoenix walked by with our air conditioner in his arms. He glanced at me and shuffled over to where I was standing to look over my shoulder.
"Did you make a new friend? I don't think I've ever seen you use your phone to do anything but read or listen to music." I nodded and tilted the screen so he could read it.
"That Nora girl is actually pretty cool. Kinda sucks I can't go to school with her though. She just registered." Phoenix nodded and bumped me with his shoulder.
"You'll make some friends at your new school. Don't sweat it." Phoenix walked into the foyer to put down the unit and I didn't follow. I laughed dryly and rolled my eyes. "Yeah, we'll see." Friends weren't what I felt I needed. Not the kind I had before anyway. I heard him sigh and he walked back to where I was standing. He rested his hands on my shoulders and shook me a little bit.
"Promise me you'll try." His eyes bore into me and I looked back with exasperation. "I'm serious. Promise me you will try when we get there. I don't want a repeat of last year. You don't have to make friends or join any clubs. Pass high school with D's for all I care. I need you to get through this, okay? Just please actually try. That's enough for me." After a bit of hesitation, I nodded. He was right. I barely passed last year, and the only reason I didn't repeat the tenth grade was because I had "emotional problems" that I couldn't help. I didn't know watching my dad getting hit by a car could qualify as emotional problems. My chest began to burn and I managed not to physically shake. Phoenix didn't notice as far as I knew.
"Thank you," He ruffled my hair and walked towards the basement. "Now stop texting your girlfriend and help me get the last of these boxes into the foyer. The truck should be here any minute to get them."
"She's not my girlfriend." I grumbled, following him down the steps. "Huh? Did you say something?" He asked, raising an eyebrow and lifting a box. I followed suit and we began walking up the creaky steps.
"Oh nothing. Just that I think you're getting too old to be wearing skinny jeans." It took effort not to snort watching him try to maneuver up the steps in the not-so stretchy pants. Phoenix scoffed and attempted to close the basement door on me, but I stuck my foot out in time. I shoved him as I forced my way over the threshold and we raced to the foyer, me nearly tripping over where the carpet in the living room started. A knock at the door interrupted our skirmish. Phoenix looked up at the door and heaved a laugh, seemingly out of breath.
It took us an hour to load our boxes into the moving truck, Phoenix insisting we leave the big downstairs furniture behind for the Deuboe's. "Wouldn't we need a couch, or a microwave when we get into the new house? And what about the table you left in the basement?" I whispered to him as the man that helped us got back into his truck. "I'll leave the bill in the mailbox once I get there. You'll have thirty days to pay it off." The man called over to us from the window. Phoenix nodded and the engine roared as the man sped off down the street.
"We'll have everything we need when we get there." He insisted, ushering me back inside. I didn't argue, the humidity was suffocating. I didn't question him either, things usually turned ok. I was putting a lot of faith in him, and I was hoping I wouldn't regret it. I usually didn't
We ate pizza that night, each of us perched on the shiny kitchen counters. They were newly buffed, but for once Phoenix didn't seem to mind. He bought a large pie and we ate off of napkins, sipping from the same two litre of Cola. He blared music from a bluetooth speaker and we screamed the words of Elton John with mouths full of cheese and tomato sauce.
"Shit!" He exclaimed out of nowhere over the music. I looked up from my third slice to see him jump off of the counter and run towards the front of the house. I didn't bother following him and he came back after about a minute. He was hiding something behind his back. It was hilariously obvious too.
"Whatcha got there?" I asked, putting my pizza down and slipping off of the counter. He smiled and brought a thick manilla envelope out from behind him. Printed on a label was my full name and our address. I didn't say anything as he handed it to me. The sender was from Cambridge, England. The University of Cambridge to be specific. I gripped the paper a tad too tight and it creased. I couldn't believe it.
"Ivy League?" I asked, eyeing the printed label and school crest before looking back up at him. He smiled even wider and nodded. "Yup. I got the call two days ago before we disconnected the landline and I thought sending the application couldn't hurt. If you graduate with enough credentials and extracurricular activities, you could get a full ride."
"Wait, seriously?!" I was smiling now too. "You mean I won't have to pay for each semester?" He nodded and gestured for me to open the envelope, which I didn't hesitate to do. "They said that if you do good enough, you'll get two semesters, a dorm, meal tickets, and all of your books free of charge. But your grades have to be maintained."
I was leafing through the forms and skimming each page as I went. I could tell from the layout that the application definitely lived up to the standards of an Ivy League college. "How did this even happen?" I was astonished. I hopped back up onto the counter and started reading through the benefits of students accepted with scholarships.
"An art teacher submitted last year's portfolio and I guess he was in good enough with the college to get you noticed. He had faith in your talents. I wouldn't pass up this opportunity if I were you." I nodded and carefully slipped the packet of papers back into the envelope. "Mr. Haid had that much faith in my watercolor skills that he recommended me to the University of Cambridge. Unbelievable." Suddenly, my smile dropped. My state of euphoria was gone, I was suddenly really nervous.
"Do you think I can make it in?" I asked, looking up at Phoenix. He scoffed and tapped my shoulder as he walked over to his seat on the counter. "You can do anything you set your mind to, Grif. Nothing's stopped you before. Nothing should now." I nodded and put the application down beside me, picking up my pizza again.
"You're right. I can do this." I sighed and took a bite of my pizza.
We both went to bed early that night, me first with my brother following soon after. I took a long shower, attempting to pull all of the dust from my sinuses and then collapsed on top of the thin blanket overtop of the air mattress that replaced my bed. My room was eerily bare; curtains, dresser, clothes, knicknacks, and posters missing. The only thing that remained was a large suitcase with a carry-on perched on top of it by the door. I was so exhausted. The last three days were spent ridding the house of everything that made it a home. It was all bare. It felt as if a swarm of mosquitoes had snuck by in the night and drained the color from the walls; muddied the carpets with solitude. One last day we remained here, in the only home I've known. I was to ride a plane for the first time ever, and then afterwards was the unknown. I didn't know if I was ready for what was in store.
After a bit of unknown time spent mulling over the things that made me worry too much, sleep found me. Surprisingly, my dreams were laced with images of clouds, blues and pinks filling the empty sky. There were no telephone poles, no skyscrapers, no smog, and no sound. And no scraping metal along the concrete, crimson seeping into the lines on the road. Grass graced the edges of my vision and the smell of honey and lilac filled my lungs. It was a surreal and tranquil feeling. The new world I found myself in was light and free and for the first time in months, I felt at peace. I awoke refreshed, and before my brother did. The sun was low in the sky, shadowed by power lines and trees. It had to be six am. I got out of bed. I was already awake and doubted I would find sleep before 'Nix would come looking for me.
I pulled my door open and stepped out into the hall. The walkway was muggy, so I opened the only window by the back of the house. A light breeze filtered through and I took a big gulp of fresh air, thinking back to my nice dream. I shuffled into the bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet to take my medication, grabbing the bottles and putting them into my carryon before walking down the hall. Phoenix's door was open and I glanced inside. He was sprawled out on his air mattress fast asleep. I was quiet as I passed and made my way to the stairwell. My fingertips grazed the stained glass art and I tiptoed down the stairs. I found myself eating a poptart and reading on the porch when Phoenix woke up and it didn't take long for him to find me. I was thinking about the massive woods in Flagstaff, and scrolling through pictures of the tall pine trees that occupied the uneven land. It was really interesting, and breathtaking in photos. I suddenly had the urge to explore it. I've always liked nature, but this forest was out of this world. And it just might be in walking distance from where I'll sleep. Suddenly, my mind drifted. Where will we be? I was never given an address or a description. He wouldn't tell me a damn thing. "It's not important yet." He claimed. I found it to be fairly important.
"Hey Grif. Did you sleep ok?" He asked, opening the back screen door. He startled me, the muscles in my shoulders tensed, but I don't think he noticed. I nodded, my mouth full of food and I set down my phone to look at him. He sat on the stoop beside me and ruffled my hair. "Everything is going to be ok. We'll leave for the terminal by noon and we'll probably be on the plane two hours after. The flight is three hours long so we'll arrive by two." I nodded and sighed. "I forgot about the time zone difference. So we'll be at the new house by three?"
He nodded and smiled. "Correct. Also, I didn't really know how to tell you this, so I'm just gonna. I couldn't really find the right way to put it." He hesitated, his smile fading as he mulled over whatever was bouncing around in his head and I waited for him to continue. Nothing could really surprise me now. "We'll be living with two other people."
I tilted my head and looked at him. "Who?" He shook his head. "I can't tell you yet, but just please remain optimistic. We'll be more comfortable this way and we won't be struggling for money. Plus, the house is enormous. We'll each still have our own rooms. Our own space." I looked down at my hands. "Ok... Why can't you tell me?" I asked, looking over at him again.
"You'll be mad." was all he said and then he stood, brushing off the seat of his pants. I narrowed my eyes. "Why?" I stood up as well, picking up my trash and phone. Phoenix sighed and looked over at me as he opened the door. "Griffin. I'm not happy about this either, but sometimes things happen and right now this is the best course of action."
I groaned and stepped inside. "Whatever you say, but being ominous and giving me half assed answers doesn't exactly make me feel comfortable." Phoenix stopped walking and turned to me. "Please just trust me."
I crossed my arms and furrowed my brow. He frowned at me. "Griffin, please just trust me." I narrowed my eyes and grunted. "Fine, but this isn't over. I'm leaving this discussion open." I said as I walked past him to head upstairs. He didn't respond. I closed my bedroom door behind me and sprawled out on the soft carpet, staring up at the ceiling.
The hours ticked by way too fast for my liking and before I knew it, my brother was calling me out of my reverie over leaving to grab my bags. I sighed softly and picked up my suitcase and carry-on. My eyes scanned the room as I closed the door behind me for the last time. Eyes trained on my feet, Phoenix met me in the hall.
"Hey," He bumped me on the shoulder. I looked up at him. "Are you ready?" I shook my head in response and didn't meet his eyes. He sighed. "Me neither, but things are going to be ok. I promise." I shrugged my shoulders which he seemed to ignore and he began walking down the hall. After a moment of eyeing every door for the last time in the small space, I followed after. My sneakers squeaked and the sound echoed through the empty hall. I stopped and glanced into Dad's old bedroom, fighting the tears that pinched the backs of my eyes. The room didn't smell of smoke anymore. I missed it. I took a deep breath and turned the corner only to stop at the stained glass window. The carry-on dropped, somewhat forgotten at my feet as I grazed a hand along the linework of the bumpy window. Low light shined through and reflected onto the skin of my hand. I tried to take a mental picture of the glass work, sighing and deciding to take one with my phone instead.
"Griffin?" I glanced over at my brother where he stood on the stairs. "Sorry. I want to paint it when we're settled in Flagstaff." He nodded and gestured for me to follow him. I shoved the phone in my pocket and walked down the stairs after him. My brother and I didn't have too much in common. He wanted this experience to be over fast, like ripping off a bandage. I wanted to revel in the last moments in this house stripped of its memories. Yet neither of us were ready to say goodbye. We just knew we had to. He understood that and stopped rushing me as we left the upstairs. I followed him through the living room into the foyer and stopped at the fireplace. The spot where Dad's ashes usually sat was empty. The box was wrapped up tight in my suitcase and I patted the bag at my side.
Phoenix opened the front door and I followed him out, glancing over my shoulder one last time at the interior. The place was still just as magnificent as I remember it being when I was little. Except now it didn't feel like home. I shook my head and stepped out of the door. Phoenix locked it behind us and we were met with a cab waiting by the curb. A short man with a hat on stepped out and walked over to us, taking our bags and putting them in the trunk. I thanked the man and got into the backseat. The man nodded at me and he dawned those same sad eyes. I saw him glance at the realtor's For Sale sign, which now had a SOLD sticker in bold print stuck overtop. He was a bit too observant, his dark eyes boring into me. I managed a small smile and watched him walk from the back of the car to the driver seat. Phoenix got into the passenger seat and once the driver ensured both of us were buckled, he sped off. I watched the house as we drove away and the large farmhouse that harboured my family for as long as I could remember was suddenly very small. It was morphing into a distant memory. When I couldn't see it anymore and we merged onto the highway, I let my head rest on the car window. Phoenix chatted with the driver. Turns out he's moving soon too, to Hawaii. I congratulated him and he gave me a toothy smile.
"And where are you moving to, young man?" He asked, his eyes crinkling. I didn't want to speak to him, but I knew he was just trying to be friendly. Maybe cheer me up even. After a moment of us looking at each other in the rear view mirror, I said, "Flagstaff, Arizona." The man gave a rumbly laugh. "Beautiful mountains," He then turned to my brother momentarily before looking back at the road. "What made you want to move there?"
I looked back out the window and nearly jumped out of my skin when my phone went off. My brother snorted and I glared at his head rest as I struggled to get my phone out of my front pocket. I suspected it was from Nora and I didn't think otherwise. Phoenix was the only other person to ever text me.
Hey nerd. My mom just got the notice from the realtor that you guys just left. Are you doing ok?
I smiled a bit. Even though we only meant once, she seemed to already have every aspect of me figured out. She could read me like an open book, yet the only way I managed to understand her was if I could read the emotion off of her face. She was so much smarter than I gave her credit for. Not only that, but she offered to be the one to talk to as I adjusted to the new school and I offered the same to her, which she gladly accepted. Neither of us were any good at making friends, but we found one in each other.
I could be better, but I'll live. How about you? You haven't mentioned once how this is affecting you.
She responded immediately, a common thing over the last few weeks of correspondence.
I won't know until I start school to be honest. The move itself is fine. The town is beautiful and not nearly as nasty as the city.
I hope you make some friends.
She took a minute to answer this time.
I hope you get that adventure you're searching for.
Nora was odd to say the least. Maybe intuitive would be a better word. It feels like she can read my mind at times. She always has an answer, sometimes even before I have a question. She was very insightful. She keeps encouraging me to find solace in the sciences. She said I could explore all of the botanical gardens and museums in Flagstaff and find company within new information. She would send me digital pamphlets for nature centers and wildlife reserves. She kept saying, "Knowledge is life altering."
The car came to a slow stop and I looked up to find us in front of Toledo Express. I sighed, put my phone in my pocket, and opened the door. Phoenix handed the nice man a wad of cash for the fare and he helped us get our luggage out of the trunk. He waved us goodbye and wished us good luck on our detrimental transition. I thanked him and he rasped, "The islands are calling."
"Ok," I turned to Phoenix. "What now?" We walked through the doors into the large and crowded building. He looked down at his watch and seemed to think for a moment. "We have an hour and a half until departure so I say we go through the TSA to get checked and get any difficulties out of the way. Then we can get something to eat and board." I nodded and followed him through the crowds of the spacious terminal.
Security was nerve wracking, and a bit handsy, but we were only stopped once. A short, dark woman with burgundy painted lips and a fierce look in her eye held out a hand for me to halt when my bag was run through the metal detector.
"Sir, would you care to explain this dark spot in your bag?" She asked, touching a gloved finger to the screen as an associate began to open my bag and pulled out the contents.
"It's my dad's ashes." I said, trying not to be rude as the man pulled the blanket wrapped box out of the bag. He unwrapped it and started to try to pull open the lid. I clenched my fists. He noticed it was sealed and handed it to the woman to run through again. The screen revealed nothing technological inside and she handed it to me with a smile. I clutched the ornately carved, ebony tomb to my chest and moved out of line to put my clothes back into my suitcase. The wood was cold underneath my fingertips. Phoenix came up behind me and put a hand on my shoulder as I finished wrapping my father back up and put him in my bag. Once our bags and persons were searched, Phoenix guided me over to a small cafe on the edge of the terminal and we both ordered something to eat, although suddenly I wasn't very hungry.
"Hey, good job not flipping out back there. I would have with the way that man was handling Dad." Phoenix said before he took another bite of his salad. He knew how to make me feel better. I nodded and smiled at him, looking down at my pants pocket as my phone went off. He looked up at me and smirked, to which I scoffed as I pulled out my phone.
I'm guessing you get on your flight soon, so have safe travels and let me know you didn't die when you land.
I laughed and looked up at Phoenix who was wiggling his eyebrows. I threw a french fry at him.
I will. I think we'll survive. Let me know when you're moved in, and send me pictures.
I'll make sure my mom doesn't turn your old house into a Delia Deetz look-alike.
Good to know I can depend on you. Talk to you in a few hours.
Stay out of the woods, Weston.
Will do.
I shut my phone off and Phoenix wolf whistled at me. "Oh please, 'Nix. You wish a girl would text you." He laughed and tossed a crumpled napkin at me which I managed to catch before it collided with my curls. We continued to eat for a while and the crowds didn't seem to change in the terminal. Phoenix glanced at his watch and stood. "Twenty minutes until boarding. Are you finished eating?" I nodded and stood as well, handing him my trash so I could stay with our carry-ons. He came back and I handed him his bag. We walked to our gate and made it there fairly fast despite the fact that the terminal was packed. 'Nix handed the lady our tickets, and she allowed us through. When we entered the stairwell that led to the tarmac, Phoenix and I raced down the stairs. A few people glanced at us but there wasn't really a line to board the plane yet, so we weren't too careful. It only took us a few minutes to board and we were settled in the coach cabin easily. I had a window seat and Phoenix sat beside me. An elderly woman held the hall seat and she offered me a peppermint. I accepted it with a timid smile and offered to put her carry-on in the overhead compartment. She was pleased and after the door to the cubby was closed, I sat down and settled into the seat.
A stewardice up front began running through safety procedures and my brother didn't seem to pay attention. He went to Italy for a class trip his senior year, so he knew what was going to be said. I stared out the window at the tarmac and the other planes. The floor beneath my beat up shoes distantly rumbled as the engine powered up and I gripped the armrests. Phoenix rested a hand momentarily over mine when the stewardice finished her scripted speech. A voice overhead told us to prepare to take off and all of my muscles locked up.
"We'll be safe. Just take deep breaths." I nodded and inhaled through my nose as the engine accelerated below us. There was nothing to be afraid of. Thousands of successful flights take place every day. This one wasn't any different. I kept telling myself this as the plane prepared to take off. The plane began to propel forward, starting at the speed of a car, getting faster every few seconds. Soon the lines on the tarmac began to blur and the nose of the plane lifted. Within minutes, we were off the ground and the altitude was steadily rising. My ears popped after a while and Phoenix laughed at my reaction. I scowled at him and gazed out the window as we began to ascend above the clouds.
"Woah." I said, leaning towards the window. The sky was a baby blue with milky purple clouds creating a floor at the bottom, the sun barely grazing the mist. "I know," Phoenix exclaimed. "You should see the sky during a sunrise from up here. It's breathtaking." I nodded and looked back out the window, settling into the seat. I could've gazed at the skyline for hours, but Phoenix insisted I pull down the blind and watch a movie with him. After a bit, I complied and we watched an action movie about a robot attempting to avenge his creator. I ran my finger over the ridges of the phone in my pocket, wishing to tell Nora about the view. I grew bored fairly quickly and pulled the blind up halfway to watch the clouds move along. As I did, I thought about where we were going, and the new people we were going to live with. It frustrated me how much Phoenix was trying to hide from me. I wish he would trust me. I needed to know who I was going to be spending the next chapter of my life with. The way he went about telling me left a really curdled feeling in the pit of my stomach. I had suspicions and they weren't things I settled easily with. I dwelled on it a bit longer and internally cringed at the mental image of me screaming at him. My temper definitely wasn't the best. In my defense though, things have been far from stable and cheery. I sighed and settled back into my seat.
I'm not sure exactly when, but at some point in the flight, I fell asleep. The tranquil colors of the sky lulled me off into an airy dream. I traveled through hued clouds of grey and lavender, streaks of yellow sunlight peeking through the breaks in the moisture. I felt as if I was floating on air and the world around me buzzed with calm at its purest essence. It was beautiful.
"Is this what being on a plane feels like?"
I whirled my head around, searching aimlessly through the mist. The tranquility shattered into tiny pieces at my feet.
"Who said that?" I called out into the expansive room, if that was where I found myself. No one responded so I began to walk towards where the voice came from. It was quiet and sweet, the voice of a girl. It sounded somewhat familiar to me, yet completely foreign. It was warped, echoing and buzzing like a hummingbird. I stopped in my tracks when a bit of movement in my peripherals caught my attention. A figure stepped through the foggy masses. Long strawberry blond hair glowed in the soft light and lavender eyes stood out against tan skin.
"Nora?" I asked, stepping towards her. She stepped towards me as well, the plain white dress she wore fluttering in the wind that I didn't feel.
"Is this what being on a plane feels like?" She asked me again, an eyebrow raising. Then she chuckled, running a hand through her hair. I was a bit unnerved by her sudden appearance. It all felt so real, yet not at all. The most head turning part was the shining mass that seemed to hover above Nora's head. It was the same color as her eyes, which seemed to almost glow. She didn't seem to notice it though, so I chose not to say anything for now.
"This is what it looks like." I said, turning to look at the clouds around us.
"Really?" She inquired, sticking a navy blue painted nail between her teeth in thought. I nodded again and turned back towards her.
"The sun was beside us when we took off and it was beautiful." Nora smiled and nodded, hair billowing around her as she turned to look up at the light above us. It seemed to be the sun in this realm. I followed her gaze and she giggled.
"You aren't going to ask any questions?" Her voice sounded like little bells and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't music to me.
"What kind of questions?" I asked. She sighed and raised an eyebrow.
"Do you know where we are?" She questioned, tilting her head and tip toeing over to me as if she were weightless. The orb over her head followed her as she moved, seemingly attached to her. I shook my head and my knees felt like they were jello.
"I-I'm more curious about your little friend." I stuttered out, bringing a hand out to point at the orb above her. She followed my finger and looked up at the glowing mass with admiration. I gave a confused look and she looked back at me with a smile.
"I can't tell you yet. Your heart isn't open." She stayed quiet for a moment and seemed to stare right through me. "You're guarding yourself from something." She looked at the space above me and her eyes seemed to glint with an emotion I couldn't read. "You have one too. You just haven't made contact yet." My expression must have said enough for me because she shook her head and gazed down at her feet. "We're almost out of time."
I stepped over to her, my eyes wide. "What does that mean?" I almost grabbed her arm but stopped myself when her eyes trailed up to mine. The purple and grey hues in her eyes had me frozen in place with an intensity I couldn't describe. She gave me a small smile that seemed a bit sad. "You're about to wake up."
I looked down at my feet, seemingly shocked to remember this was all in my head. It felt all too real. When I looked up again to ask Nora how long we had, my words caught in my throat. Her figure was waning away in strands, like a drop of dye being diluted in water. The colors mixed and muddied together until all I felt was a heavy fog around my limbs and I couldn't see anything except the colors grey and lavender. The fog filled my lungs and suddenly I couldn't breathe.
I jolted awake in my seat, a cold sweat beading on the back of my neck. The tips of my fingers and toes buzzed with the aftershock of feeling like I was falling. I looked over at the window next to me, a bit startled by how close to the ground we were. I guess we were already in Flagstaff. I turned to my brother and nudged him awake. He let out a small groan and sat up in his seat, stretching as best he could without disturbing the lady next to him.
"We're at Pulliam already?" He asked, turning to look at me with groggy eyes. I nodded, putting on my seatbelt when the light above us chimed. Phoenix did the same and I tried not to let out a small gasp when the plane began to descend onto the tarmac.
My whole body was buzzing with the nerve wracking feeling of plummeting from a deadly height. I couldn't distinguish if it was still lingering from my dream or from the wheels of the plane catching on the tar below us. My fingers had finally loosened their grip on the armrest when we began to slow, the airport growing closer in proximity. Phoenix turned to me and gave a chuckle. "Did your ears pop yet?" He asked, stretching again in his seat. I looked over at him with a scowl to which he mockingly returned. I squeezed my eyes shut and began to stretch, popping all of the bones in my lower back. Sleeping upright in a chair for three hours made me sore, even if the chairs were moderately comfy.
Let's just say it was beyond tedious to get myself and my brother off of the plane with five hundred other travel weary passengers attempting to do so as well. It took us an hour to claim our bags and make it out of the terminal. Neither my brother or I said much other than how weird it felt to be in a different time zone. In a new, unfamiliar place. It wasn't until we were waiting on the corner nearest to the airport for a cab that my brother turned to me, his expression hesitant in its entirety. I raised an eyebrow at him and he sighed, clapping a hand down on my shoulder.
"This is about where we're going to live, isn't it?" I asked, taking my carry-on off of my shoulder and putting it down next to my suitcases. Phoenix just nodded and heaved a sigh. "I'm scared to tell you because you're going to be mad." He said, bringing a thumb to his mouth and nibbling on the nail. "Just tell me." I murmured, crossing my arms and facing forward.
Phoenix sighed softly, and it sounded as if he were guilty. Or rather ashamed. He looked over to me and shook his head. "I'd rather you just see them for yourself and deduct an opinion then." I narrowed my eyes. "How angry am I going to be?" I asked, disdain starting to creep it's way in. "Livid." Phoenix heaved a sigh and suddenly he looked very tired, older even. I felt my face soften and I looked down in thought. I wasn't prepared to be an asshole, but if Phoenix deserved it I wouldn't hold back. I inherited my rage and sarcasm from my mom. Mom. I am so naive. For once the intrusive thoughts might have been correct. I clenched my fists.
"Hey Phoenix?" I asked, turning my head to him, his eyes trained on his phone. He abruptly stood up, staring at a car that had pulled up to the curb a few feet away from us. "Our ride is here." He said, glancing over at me before grabbing his bags. I scrambled to stand up off of the curb and grab my things before following suit to the car. As we shoved ourselves inside, my mind was racing a mile a second.
"How long is the drive?" Phoenix asked, turning towards the driver. She was a fragile looking woman, maybe in her fifties with baby blue eyes and a few grey wispies hiding in a long mop of brown, frizzy hair. He was still getting settled into his seat as she shifted gears and merged onto the Boulevard. "It'll be about fifty minutes with traffic. Once we're on 89 it'll be a breeze." She spoke with a smile and faced back towards the road, Phoenix doing the same.
Fifty minutes. I had fifty minutes to comprehend what the hell I might have just figured out. It was the only thing that made sense to me. As far as I knew, Phoenix didn't have any friends living in Arizona, but then again I was sure mom didn't live in Arizona either. There wasn't much to go on other than her flighty departure.
When my mother left us, I had only been nine. She just disappeared overnight without so much as a note to let us know where she was going or if she'd ever come back. Our only hint she was gone for good was the lack of most of her family valuables and an empty dresser. My father ended up tracking her credit card to somewhere in Oregon a few days later. The house was suddenly empty of warmth, devoid of humming while she cooked and fresh cut flowers from her job. Dad had to pick up more hours as work and he stopped eating dinner with us, except for Sundays. It wasn't the same and Phoenix could never replicate her pot roast. We stopped having family game nights. Phoenix continued reading to me at night for the first few months after. She used to pick a new book every week. Dad tried really hard to make sure we were happy. For the bigger part of the endeavour we were, but it was really hard to ignore how badly our father had broken. It's hard to love someone who did that to you as a child, even if they helped create you. Phoenix described it as feeling like an orphan, despite having our father with us during the "grieving process."
Four years later on my birthday, she had finally called. Phoenix was the one to pick up the phone. I remember turning to ask him who it was and he had the weirdest look on his face, like he was struggling to not scream or maybe laugh. His face was flushed and he scrunched his nose, staring through me with really cloudy eyes. Then he held it out to me, his hands shaking like leaves in a really strong wind. When I put the receiver up to my ear, the first thing she said was, "How have you been Griffy?" Her voice was raspy, maybe a tad choked up, but it was her. A twinge of something I couldn't describe filled up my chest and I didn't respond. Bile crept it's way into my mouth and I slammed the phone back into its cradle. I glanced at Phoenix before running up the stairs to be alone. He looked fairly distraught. He couldn't understand why I hate her so much. How can you just up and leave your whole family overnight? That's one hell of a facade to keep up. I'd like to think she wouldn't have left if she knew what was going to happen to Dad, but I really doubt it.
Sometimes she sent letters or postcards, all from different places. Some of them addressed us individually, a couple just saying hi. Only one came for dad. The farthest one we received was from Istanbul. Phoenix would give them to me sometimes but I always tore them up or burned them so he eventually gave up, harbouring them in a little shoebox beneath his bed. For a stretch of about three months, three came in a row from some hostel in Quebec. After a long argument with Phoenix, he sent one back. It broke the news that dad had passed away. That was in February, and we didn't get any more letters after that. Phoenix seemed upset to not see her name in our mailbox, but I'd say good riddance.
I gave a small sigh and leaned my head against the car window, opening my eyes to watch the trees and hills that passed. In the distance, massive mountains protruded from the forest of pine trees dominating the area. Their snowy caps loomed high up in the clouds. At least Phoenix didn't lie about that; Flagstaff was absolutely beautiful. Despite the fact I'm going to be living with a back stanning pig and a stranger I'll most likely despise, they resided unbelievably close to the mountain range. As time edged along and the highway began to grow a bit winding and hilly. Humphrey's peak was eventually in view, it's snowy top and green foliage glowing in the afternoon sun. On either side of us was copious amounts of sand and small succulents occupying the expansive land. We passed a few small businesses; the Summit Firehouse and some decrepit looking Baptist church I was tempted to check out at a later time. As we moved along, all of the professional looking buildings morphed into ranches and one story houses with massive, overgrown backyards.
"Where are we?" I asked, undoing my seatbelt to lean forward and look ahead of us between the two front seats. The driver glanced over at me with a smile before turning back to the road. "We're in east valley before the summit." As she spoke, she turned onto a narrow gravel road labeled Sunset Boulevard. The car bumped along the uneven pavement, my fingers gripping the seat in a sudden intense anxiety. If my hunch was correct, someone I had come to hate will become my main support system. Phoenix mentioned two people though. I gripped the seat tighter, clenching my teeth. Not only did she abandon her two sons and husband, but she'd found a new love. How ubelievably fucking quaint. I fell back against the seat when the car came to an abrupt stop and Phoenix glanced at me with nervous eyes. When he gauged my expression, he kept his gaze down at his lap as he opened the car door. His knuckles were bright white with the grip he had on his bags, and I stifled a snort as I grabbed my things. He had good reason to be anxious over me, but I still couldn't fully process just how much.
"Drive safe!" He said with a faux cheery voice to Mary, as I learned that to be her name. She nodded and took a moment to reverse out of the one way before disappearing onto the winding road again. I didn't even look at the house, dropping my bags in a fury andkicking up dust that billowed around my feet. Phoenix didn't get a chance to look up from his phone before I ran at him, my fist connecting with the skin of his cheek. The impact knocked his phone from his hand, sending him back a foot or two as he managed to catch himself from falling.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" I hollered, my chest heaving as Phoenix looked down at me in genuine shock, his eyes wavering as his hand went up to hold his face.
"I knew you'd figure it out." He mumbled, that shame returning to his voice as he looked down at his feet. It was kinda funny honestly despite my rage. He looked like a child who had been chided, but he was the adult here.
"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" I yelled, holding my hands out on either side of me. He looked back up at me, furrowing his brows and letting his hands fall. The left side of his face had already bloomed a blotchy red, most likely beginning to bruise. "It was this or live in the streets. We couldn't afford that house for another month, let alone long enough to give you time to prepare yourself to live on your own. What else was I supposed to do-"
The sound of rusted hinges squeaking caught his attention, his head turning towards the house as the front door swung open. My eyes followed his, my brows deep set and my arms pressing against my torso like I was holding myself together. As the old door with chips in the yellow painted wood swung open, I couldn't really breathe. My limbs were buzzing with frustration and disbelief, the feelings stopping with a rush of cold when a small child in a white sundress burst from the house instead of my frail mother. She had dark ringlets cut to her shoulders that bounced around her like a lion's mane, and she giggled loudly as she bounded across the yellowed lawn. She had food on her face and eyes the color of iced tea I could spot from thirty feet away. She looked so happy and gave a squeal as she wrapped her small, chubby arms around Phoenix's knees.
"Peony, get back here!" A shrill and all too familiar voice called from the doorway and I looked up to find my mother, looking ten years older than she was. Her honey colored hair was matted into locks halfway down her back and she wore loose, flowy pants with flowers all over them. Her bony ankles had at least five different beaded and multicolored bracelets wrapped around them, jiggling and bouncing against her feet as she walked. Her face had many new lines and her nails were painted a pale blue. She looked like a completely different person. The last time I had seen her, she was wearing a beige pantsuit and crusty foundation. Her eyes met mine and I couldn't move, my hands clenching against my chest. Suddenly she was across the yard, wearing no shoes and no wedding ring. The rosy cheeked infant ran back to her and she lifted the child into her arms.
"It's so good to see you boys. I really missed you." She was beaming, maybe on the verge of tears while I stood fuming and on the cusp of vomiting.
"Oh 'Nix what happened to your face?" I glanced over to find her free hand cupping his bruised cheek, the worry lines in her face standing out.
"I uh- never told Griffin we were coming to live with you. He's still a hothead." His voice was quiet and remorseful. Her gaze downcast for a moment before looking over at me, her grey eyes full of sadness and regret. If I'm honest, she looked broken. I narrowed my eyes and didn't say a word as I moved to grab my things. I had nothing to say to her. She disappeared completely from our lives and we're crawling back like leeches to the first heat source they find. I felt pathetic. I hoisted my carryon over my shoulder and turned towards them. Phoenix was looking at me, his face resembling that of a child that stole from the cookie jar.
"I have nothing to say to either of you and frankly I'm not obligated to so let's just go inside. I wanna unpack my shit." My mother visibly flinched at hearing my voice. I wasn't sure why. It could be because I haven't spoken to her in over eight years. Or maybe she was scared of me. I'd expect the former but she seemed to be shaking in her loose clothes. She gave a nod and then wrapped her arms around Phoenix. He hugged her back and I watched him in disdain, his eyes boring into mine.
Peony squealed and wriggled herself out of my mother's arm, landing on her feet which caught me off guard. I expected her to hurt herself but then again, we were all coordinated from early on. She kicked up grass with her little feet and squealed, bounding her way around my bags and into the house. I took initiative and followed suite after the toddler.
STAI LEGGENDO
.·:·.☽✧ Foraois ✧☾.·:·.
Paranormaleim gna be honest this is a huge work in progress, but essentially After a major traumatic event in Griffen Westons life sends him spiraling into a life he never expected, things seem beyond fixing. He had never felt so empty. But grief has a certai...
