Just a waitress (a jace Norman fanfic)

Chapter 31- Goodbye lucy

Christine's pov
Today is Lucy's funeral. Nothing will keep me away. I still feel like reality hasn't quiet caught up to me. Lucy. My best friend. Dead. An it's all my fault. I haven't eaten in days. I've barley spoken to anyone. People try to tell me to stop blaming myself. But who am I supposed to blame? The bullies? Her dad? Theron? No. She could have handled that. If she had a friend to talk to. But I was so self absorbed that I ignored her and now we both have to pay the price. I put on the same outfit that I wore to my dads funeral. It just seemed right. Even when all of this is so wrong. I went downstairs and jace was waiting in a black suit. I almost smiled at how nice he looked. Then my face fell again as I remembered something. "What is it?" Jace asked. "I just realized that you never even met Lucy. She was so awesome and I meant to introduce you two but then I got busy and-" I started to tear. Jace came over and hugged me. "Hey I bet I would have liked her. Obviously she had great taste in friends." Boy was that a lie. Se couldn't have made a worse choice in friends. I got her killed. Real great friend right there. We went to the graveyard and Riele and Ella and Sean and Cooper all came too. They didn't know her but they were there for me. It was a sunny day. A beautiful day. God made it just for Lucy. We saw her in her coffin. She looked just like she did after the makeover. She was so still. Then I put the box down next to her. In it was the outfit that I picked out for her at the hospital for the makeover. It was when we became great friends. I started crying again. Thankfully jace was over talking to Cooper. Now I could have a moment to myself with her. "Lucy. Oh god. I'm so sorry. I ignored you when you needed me most. I deserve to be the one in the coffin not you. All you wanted was someone to talk to and I wouldn't even give you that. Friends don't abandon friends and that's exactly what I did. Your right. You were always right. I don't know what I've become. I don't know who I am anymore. If I could change all of this I would. I don't want people to push me around anymore. But it's too little way too late right? It's all happened and there's nothing I can do to change that. First my parents, then you. Who else am I going to put in danger because of my stupid actions? I really am sorry Lucy. I hope things work out better for you in heaven." I quickly hid my tears and turned around to find my seat for the funeral. As I looked around, I noticed that there weren't that many people here. I guess she really didn't have anyone else who cared about her. I had agreed to give a speech but I couldn't come up with the right words so the speech kind of sucked. When it was my turn I went up. Everyone was staring at me. I looked at my cards, then back at the people. Then I threw my cards over my shoulder. "Look, I could go on an on about how Lucy was a good friend and how unfortunate all of this is. I could say that she's in a better place now. But really, that's not who she was. Sure she was shy, she was bullied, she never really had real friends, but when I met her, she was never ashamed of any of that. Lucy was my best friend and it killed me to know that I wasn't there when she needed me. Everyone brought her down, but they didn't even know her. Lucy was better than all of them and I would rather be her friend for a couple of months than anyone else's droned for a lifetime. I know that by next week no one will even remember who she was, but I will. I will remember as the clumsy, awkward, goofy, nerdy, fun, person she was and will always be. She changed my life and I will never forget that. So good luck Lucy, my bff. I don't know where your going, and I'm not going to pretend I do, but if there is a god. He'd have to be stupid to put you somewhere good. See you around glecshire." I don't even know where that came from. I walked over to the coffin because I saw Theron over there. I could tell he was crying. I was still pissed that he broke up with Lucy, but I wasn't planning on bringing it up. "Hey." I said but he wouldn't even look at me. "She's dead because of you." He said still not looking up. "Excuse me?" "She's dead. And it's your fault. You left her alone and she couldn't handle it." He said ice cold. "Fine. You want to talk about leaving people? How about we talk about why you broke up with her!" I snapped back. "I broke up with her because I was tired of all the drama. Caused by you! You left Lucy when she needed you most. And now she's dead. Because of you." Now I was really angry. "I tried to be there for her as much as I could! So don't you go trying to blame this on me! She probably would have been fine if you hadn't gone and broken her heart! So really, if you want to go pointing fingers, you can go and point it at yourself! Because there is no one to blame for her death but you!" I felt the force of his hands shove me to the ground. Then a slap on the face. "You little witch! You always have been a dirty lying brat! I hope you end the same way Lucy did!" Then in a flash I saw that crazy boy with blond hair tackle Theron. Jace wrestled him to the ground. "Don't you dare touch my girlfriend!" He shouted and punched Theron. They started fighting and going back and forth at each other. I suddenly realized what was happening and I jumped up and pulled them apart. "Everybody stop! This is Lucy's funeral for gods sake! She deserves better than this and your ruining all of it! This is supposed to be she probably just wanted a quiet small funeral and we couldn't even give her that!" I was so angry at them for ruining everything. I looked at both of them with a look of sadness and anger. But after that I just walked off and put a flower on Lucy's coffin and left. I don't need to see them put her in the ground. I know how it goes. I could figure that jace would try to follow me, so I decided to just walk home. After all it's not like there is a place that I can call mine here in la. And it wasn't that far a walk. I ran through the door and up to my room. I locked the door because I really didn't feel like talking right now. I walked over to my book shelf, but nothing seemed interesting. It seemed like every one of those books were filled with lies about happy lives. I sat at my window and thought about my whole life. My mom and dad, losing my mom and becoming a waitress. I miss that so much. No matter how bad things got I could always count on my job to get my mind off of things. I thought about all the people who were kind to me in Maine. I thought about meeting jace and the audition and going to la. I realized that I had to change who I was the minute I got here. I thought about the fight and losing my dad. I thought about falling in love with jace and everything going great for a while. Then I thought about the bullying and the cutting and my attempted suicide. I thought about recovery and meeting Theron and Lucy. I couldn't think anymore. Everything was just too overwhelming. I wished that life would just stop for a few minutes. Give me a few minutes of peace where no one would be in pain. But that was unlikely. I heard a knock on the door. "Christine?" I heard in the other side of the door. Jace. Then the door rattled and more anxiously. I could tell he was scared. "Christine are you in there?!" I walked over and opened the door. The minute I did he pulled me into a tight hug. "You scared me." He said. "Sorry I just didn't feel like talking. I still don't." I said quietly. "Then just listen. I'm sorry I ruined the funeral. I was just trying to protect you. I was worried that jerk would hurt you. But your right. Lucy deserved better than that. I love you, and I'm sorry." I wasn't mad anymore. Just upset. I looked into his eyes. "It's alright. Thank you for standing up for me like that. I love you." He started to lean in but then I noticed the blood in his lip and nose. "Oh god. You bleeding." I said. "Oh it's okay it doesn't hurt." He lied. "Yeah sure. Let's go." I dragged him to the bathroom and made him sit down. I wet a washcloth and gently dabbed the blood off if his lip. The I gave him a tissue for his nose. Then we went and Laos down on my bed and watched a movie. He held me and I felt that familiar warmth and safety. I realized that jace and Henry danger was all I had left. And Lucy didn't even have that. I hope whatever world she's in right now is better than this world. Because I'm not seeing a whole lot of greatness coming out of this one. And as I started to drift off to sleep in Jaces arms I thought to myself.
Goodbye Lucy.