The Golden Girl

Chapter 12

People swarmed around us in a great mass of bodies, but even though it was overly loud, I couldn't help notice how oddly quiet Julie was.

"What is it, Jules?" I asked, getting tired of our silence.

She blinked twice before looking at me.

"Oh ah..." She trailed off, before letting out a big sigh. "It's Jeremy."

I nodded, feeling a swarm of nerves fill my stomach.

"What's the problem?"

Her gaze penetrated the pavement as we walked.

"Well, he didn't even really talk to me at the party... In fact, he left halfway through."

My cheeks went slightly pink remembering his reason. I felt horrible hiding this from Jules, after all, she was my best friend, but if I told her it would most certainly break her heart. If telling the truth held that sort of consequence I couldn't possibly follow the value of honesty. But was this being dishonest? Or was it simply hiding something? No matter what it was, it still felt wrong.

"But I thought..." She continued, "Oh surely it's nothing, him leaving early, but he just sent me a message asking whether we still wanted to hang out on the weekend. He said that he doesn't think he's up for it."

We walked into Biology, but I was no longer able to concentrate. The guilt gnawed at my chest. It was all my fault.

✽

I still felt horrible when we pulled up.

"I'm sorry Jules..." I muttered.

She stared at me confused before quickly shaking her head.

"Don't be silly Soph. It's not your fault."

We sat there in the car watching the afternoon sun.

"I better go inside. I've got an English exam tomorrow."

"Fun fun," I said sarcastically. "I'll see you inside."

✽

I sat there trying to sort out my thoughts. It all added up. The growing affection for her twin, the fact that her crush liked me and of course now the problem of pretending to date someone behind her back. The things I kept from her just kept piling up and now, worst of all, I was ruining her relationship with Jeremy altogether. I was so occupied with myself that I didn't even notice him until he tapped on the window.

"Penny for your thoughts?" He asked.

The corners of my lips started to tug.

"It's mainly about Jules."

"Let me guess Jeremy?"

I let out a short irritated noise, "Yep."

We stared at each other for a long moment, not needing to communicate with words.

"He doesn't want to hang out with her because he knows I'll be with them... She can't figure out why he's acting weird."

"There is a very simple solution to this." He said, opening my door.

I gave him a questionable look.

"Come with me?"

My heart skipped a beat.

"What?"

"Surfing."

"You're not serious?"

He chuckled softly as we walked under the frangipani tree. It smelt wonderful, like always.

"Why wouldn't I be serious?" He stopped to face me.

"Angus. I can't surf."

"Julie said you want to learn." He said matter-of-factly.

I tried to picture myself falling in the waves.

"When I said that, I meant from an instructor," I muttered.

The hurt was clear in his eyes. It was like I'd given him a hard slap, which stung deep. I tried to take it back but he only shook his head, his pride clearly bruised.

"I understand," He smiled.

It was the first time I'd ever seen him smile in such a way. It was forced and didn't quite reach his eyes. I shook my head quickly.

"I'm sorry."

He relaxed as soon as I apologised.

"I don't mind if you go with an instructor but like..." He trailed off. "Wouldn't you rather spend time with me?"

His tone was soft and I could feel myself slowly dissolving. He had touched a foreign part of me making me want to squirm with discomfort. It was like he could read my mind.

"Of course. The truth is. I'm really clumsy and it won't be as embarrassing with an instructor."

All the hurt had instinctively vanished and as though he were caught in the moment he wrapped his arms around me. It was like my dream but this time I knew who it was. His breath tickled my cheek making me feel extremely jittery, and as though he felt the same thing he stepped away.

"I promise." He smirked, "That I will not laugh at your mistakes."

"Shake on it?" I asked.

He reached out for my hand, "Jules will think you want to learn to surf. Jeremy will think we want to spend time together, and ultimately Jules will get to catch up with Jeremy. It seems like a win-win situation."

This made me laugh light-heartedly, but there was still a very large problem. Every minute I spent with Angus this weird feeling grew. I would be fine with it if it didn't remind me of a previous feeling. A feeling which was still tearing me apart to this very day. An uncontrollable attachment. I watched as he walked in the door, his sandy blonde hair bouncing around as though dancing before me, mocking me. I couldn't let this feeling grow anymore, but maybe it could still be controlled? I dropped my eyes to his back, where the shirt tightened slightly over his shoulders showing the defined muscles beneath. Surely I thought, it won't get any stronger.