The Golden Girl

Chapter 9

The tears were still wet on my face when I woke. I couldn't bear it. It kept happening. Over and over again, like a never-ending cycle of nightmares. There was only one way to treat it.

✽

The wind was cooler outside. Beautiful and almost as perfect as the breeze back in Inverloch... Inverloch, where the seas are wild, dark and powerful, and the landscape is bare and rugged from all the years of exposed weather. As soon the thought of home entered my mind, I felt empty. I wasn't homesick, I wanted to leave my past behind and the traumatic experiences which haunted me during my dreams, but somewhere deep down I knew I belonged with the dairy cows and the jolting sandstones.

Taking a deep breath, I started walking towards the beach. Angus would be up soon and the last thing I wanted was for him to catch me again. Of course, I had more control than last time but Angus had a way with my feelings. He had an ability to bring out the Sophie I tried desperately to hide and right now that was way too risky, considering my mood.

The sand was smooth under my toes, as I walked along the shore. I closed my eyes, picturing happy things, trying to keep the smile in place, but it vanished as soon as I heard my name.

"Sophie!" He cried.

I spun around to face him, relieved to find it was Jeremy.

"Hey," I murmured.

He caught up, huffing slightly as he spoke, "What are you doing?" He asked, slightly complexed.

I looked at the sand, "I felt like a going for a morning walk"

"Oh, would you mind if I joined you?"

I looked up into his friendly smile, letting my annoyance drift to warmth.

"That would be nice."

I turned on my heel and we started strolling.

"We just let a sea turtle go, it was important to let her go when the crowds aren't so high."

I nodded, "Do you have a favourite sea creature?"

"Sea horse," He grinned.

"Really?"

"Didn't expect it?"

"Not exactly I thought you might have been more of a salt crocodile guy."

"Crocodiles are cool," He smirked, "But if you're studying something, you like to look at the species which hold unique traits."

"And what trait does the seahorse hold?" 

"The male seahorse carries the young," he said, matter-of-factly.

"That's cool," I laughed.

It had just occurred to me how distracted I had become in his presence.

✽

Time passed and the sun rose above us.

"We better head back," I murmured.

"Yeah, you know I'm really glad we've met, Soph. Can I call you Soph?"

I nodded. He was giving me a weird smile, so I attempted to ask another question in the hope the conversation would flip, but as soon as I turned my head, I froze.

"Oh, shit" I whispered.

"What?" He asked.

"Oh no no no!" I started looking around for a place to hide.

"Sophie, stop it. What is it?"

I turned around, getting irritated with his questions.

"It's Angus!!" I exclaimed, pointing to the blonde figure.

"So what?" He muttered.

My mind flew a hundred miles an hour. It was going to look so bad, me walking with Jeremy at this time in the morning! Something inside me had started, like a fearful little fire, causing my heart to pound as I searched for somewhere to escape the inevitable.

"Because! Because... he can't see me here! He wanted to come with me, you see..."

I didn't dare mention the truth. My time was running out and my panicked mind was running out of solutions. I stared out at the horizon, the crystal blue water and suddenly I saw my way out. The waves crashed against my body, as I dived amongst them.

I turned my head for no more than a second, "I was never here, okay? It was nice talking to you... bye!"

And just like that, I vanished, kicking my legs, faster and faster until it simply became a rhythmic motion without any thought. When I surfaced my fear started to fade when I saw Angus standing with Jeremy, oblivious to my presence. I looked out at the stretch of beach, before launching myself out of the water. Never in my life had I run as fast as I did at that moment. Nothing could stop me, not the sinking sand or my drenched clothes.

✽

I ran all the way home and didn't look back. I couldn't stop reliving my reaction. It annoyed me all day. Never leaving me as I tried to study and enjoy Julie's presence. The worst thing of all was that I couldn't control myself in such a normal situation. I freaked out and fled. Why couldn't I have just stayed by Jeremy's side and explained to Angus later? No. The thought of staying was incomprehensible. For Angus to see me with another guy was one of the most disturbing feelings that had ever entered my being. I didn't understand where the feeling came from nor how psychotic it was, but it was strong. Taking my pen, I clicked it against my lip and breathing in deeply, ensured myself it wouldn't happen again.