Different Life !on hold!

𝑃𝑎𝑖𝑛

𝐶ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝐹𝑖𝑣𝑒

The next days I felt good.

I didn't had constantly headaches or other pain but after a week it all came back.

And in that moment the war began.

I hid my sickness.

I wanted to be with my sisters.

Especially Elain and Nesta.

I knew it was unfair to Feyre but I couldn't get the pictures out of my head from the day I went into the cauldron.

My two sisters did everything to get to me but Feyre just stood there.

She did nothing.

--------------------------

Pain laced every nerv, every bone in my body on the fifth day of the war.

The screams were terrible.

But the most terrible were Cassians wings two days ago.

They were shredded.

Completely shredded.

And the worst, I knew that Feyre and Rhysand did things that people wouldn't do on a battle field.

I couln't look my youngest sister in the eyes.

I was disgusted. Not only was I disgusted, no Feyre could do whatever the fuck she wished to do, no when I was honest with myself I was a little envy of her. She lived this perfect life, everything fell to her feet, but some people had to work for themself- for their lifes. And this was my point where I coulnd't live with it.

In the very moment I stood on the battle field and watched the final.

I and my sisters did it.

They got the king were they wanted him.

But I saw my father die.

Heard my father die.

His neck snapped.

The sound echoed through my head over and over.

I saw how his neck snapped and the light left his eyes.

But now Elain stood behind the king with a dagger in her hand.

The king looked around and his gaze met mine.

He began to smirk.

I coked my head and smiled.

But it was a smile you would see in your worst nightmares.

"I can see your illness little girl. You're gonna die.", he said and showed his yellow teeth.

I knew I was.

Since I was a human, what felt like ages ago, I knew I was going to die. Slowly, but I would.

I knew how such an illness ended.

And I was ready.

Without another word Elain sliced his throat.

...Silence...

Then screams.

Then the Joy.

But I felt the coldness creep up my spine.

I knew that I was deathly ill.

I didn't tell my sisters, so that they could be happy.

I could see the joy on the faces and coughed.