Saudade | Loubbie

Chapter Thirteen

"The pregnancy..." Lou broke the bubble, she held Debbie's hand and Danny giggled in between them, unaware of the tension growing, "You moved a lot in my tummy." Lou chimed, eyes twinkling against the beaming eyes of their daughter.

"I moved? Like danced inside your tummy?"  Danny enthuasiastically asked.

Lou looked up to Debbie, as if urging her to speak. But Debbie was still stoned to her place. It was hard. Hard to comprehend that they were back, hard to seep the fact that they were together on one bed like before, but what really took Debbie's sanity was the fact that Lou was holding her trembling hand. Lou noticed Debbie's mind flying away and in an attempt to pull her back, she gently squeezed Debbie's hand. The brunette flinched, her eyes automatically dropped to the blonde and when she did, Lou smiled at her again.

"Danny moved a lot in my tummy..." The blonde asked, silently asking her to speak, "Right?" She added.

Debbie forced a smile before she looked down to Danny, "Yes, you did, baby." And finally, there was clarity in her voice, a new found hope and hopefully, a new beginning, "Your mom barely sleep because you moved a lot. And there were times whe --"

"Tell me more!!!"

Lou squeezed her hand once more. Go on, Deb. I'm here. It's alright. You can do it. With a smile from the blonde's lips, she smiled.

Debbie's eyes fluttered open in the dusk of dawn. The moonlight was escaping through the drapes from their glass-wall, and when she threw an arm on the other side of the bed, all she felt was the big space. She sat up, heart racing in the air when she noticed that the blonde wasn't on the bed. When she sat, a gush of relief tugged her heart down. Lou, on her 6th-month of pregnancy,  was up, standing as she faced the whole city of New York through their glass wall.  The blonde somehow felt that the bed jiggled and so before Debbie could even ask her what was wrong, she turned around, lips pouted and on the verge of crying.

"I can't sleep."

"Oh, God." Debbie flung the covers off her body and trudged to scoop Lou in her arms, "Can't sleep?" She asked, holding the small of Lou's back while her other hand caressed the blonde's cheek.

"I can't." Lou sighed, "Deb, I feel like this is not a human." She complained like a little kid, "She moved a lot at unreasonable hours!"

"Baby..." Debbie held her, pulled her closer to her body before she pressed a kiss on top of the blonde's head, "That's normal. And if you can't sleep, I won't sleep either."

"But you should sleep because you can. Don't let me stop --"

"Stop talking." Debbie chimed sweetly as she held Lou's right hand and kissed it, "You're not alone in this pregnancy. We are in this together and if you can't sleep, I can't too." She added as she gently caressed Lou's stomach, "Hi, bumblebee." Debbie spoke again as she knelt down, she looked up and smiled at Lou before she kissed her stomach, "Please don't move so much, especially at this early hour. Mommy can't sleep."

"Tell her I'm mad." Lou ordered, her arms crossed against her chest.

Debbie chuckled, "She's not mad. She loves you."

"If you couldn't sleep, what did you two do?" Danny asked.

Lou tilted her head, "Your mom and I danced."

"Danced?" Danny asked and Lou nodded, "Show me!!!"

And with their daughter's request, Lou and Debbie's town was burning again. The brunette actually didn't notice how did it all happen. All she knew was that she was standing on the center of Danny's room and Lou was in front of her. It was a little risky - to touch and hold and dance as if they two were still kissing in sunless ways under the rotten skies of forgotten sunsets. Debbie knew that Lou was a little bit afraid too, and even if she wanted to run away, how could she when their daughter was waiting for the two of them to dance?

There were things she couldn't say. Things her tongue couldn't move to utter. And there were also habit that just wouldn't die - like afternoon dances, and obsidian eyes against cerulean ones, and the heart-warming looks they both couldn't refrain. Debbie would have sworn to all gods that she could die in that moment, but she was then pulled through her waist and god, Lou's hand on the small of her back fitted so much. With Lou pulling her like that, the war began. And there Debbie was, in her soiled and torn dress, silently begging all the gods to stop her heart from wilding.

"Is this okay?" Lou's sweet voice scattered like a sweet tango and she smiled as she held Debbie's back with her gentle hand before she held Debbie's hand with her other.

Debbie smiled, "Yes." She replied before she placed her free hand on Lou's shoulder.

And for the first time since the last, their eyes slowly consumed the curious ways on how to move. Debbie was statued on her place and so was the blonde. It felt too much - it was a tug of war between two hearts, pulling each other until one would give up. Debbie wanted to pull away from Lou's hold, but she stopped when the blonde slowly swayed into the music that wasn't even there. It was a trap - their bodies were gliding slowly like old times, and it was when Debbie felt that her body still craved for it. And so, Debbie did what she had to do: she gently inched closer to Lou and when she did, she laid her head against the blonde's neck.

The memories of the thousands apricot kisses, that sun-speckled eyes, those dainty and all those promises that were made under the honest hours of dawn were coming back, haunting the forced-peace that Debbie told herself she had. Lou felt so right against her body, but it was too much and so she backed away and forced their dance to stop.

"Dan, that's --" Debbie hurriedly spoke as she turned towards Danny.

But when she looked at their daughter, the world came to a half. Danny was already curling like a little ball, lips parted and was obviously deep in an afternoon slumber. Debbie felt the blood inside her eyes fading away. Now that Danny's sleeping, she couldn't move herself, couldn't even look at her ex-wife who was still standing in front of her.

Debbie remained her head on Danny's direction, "She's sleeping. I'll go back to --"

"Dance with me."

The brunette was shocked. She turned to look at Lou and before she could even say no, Lou held the small of her back and pulled her even closer again, blue eyes begging Debbie to dance once more.

***