Grumbo Oneshots

SFTK (Something For The King) (AU)

[PART 1] A king AU. Mumbo is our king. And Grian... well, let's just say he's maybe the farthest away from the king in Hermittown (amn't I creative?). But what can a poor boy do when crushing on a royal? The best he can.

Hermittown is run by a monarchy. The royal family Jumbo has ruled over it for decades. Now the current ruler is Mumbo Jumbo. He's fairly young, but not stupid. With his glorious moustache and deep joyful voice, he's able to charm anyone. He's a kind and valued king. Mr Jumbo cares about Hermittown and its people. His very bestest friend and most important counselor, Iskall 85, is also well-thought-of. Together Mr Jumbo and Mr 85 make Hermittown a happy place to live in.

If we hop down from the royal palace to the streets, we find people who are not in such a high position. Grian and Scar live both in simple wooden houses near the town border. They work hard, but still cannot afford as much as others could. They both admire the royal family and respect them with all their hearts. Living an easy and chaste life, very few people know them outside their own social circle.

One evening, Grian and Scar are listening to a radio broadcast in Scar's house. The broadcast is about the king and his last visit to another town. "I haven't seen king Jumbo for a while", Scar chats. "Usually he's seen promenading downtown with his guards." Grian nods absently. Scar notices his friend is a bit tired. "What about going to sleep, Gri? Tomorrow is another work day, to be honest." The blonde suddenly snaps into reality. "Has something happened to Jumbo? What if he's ill?" Scar chuckles. "He might be", Grian says hastily and closes the radio. "What if he dies?" "Calm down, buddy", Scar smiles. "I'm sure he's just busy. Why do you care about it so much?" "W-why wouldn't I?" Grian stutters. Scar sighs. "Ugh, I mean, no one wants him dead, but you seem overly stressed by it."

"I'm not overly stressed about Jumbo dying or anything, I jus-" Grian mumbles all red. Scar lets out a low laugh. "I've known you for long enough, Grian. Is our king cute? Is he nice?" Grian bites his lip furiously. "Sometimes I hate you, Scar." The scarred man laughs loudly. "I'll take that as a yes. What are you gonna do? Smuggle in and work as a maid?" Grian sighs. "That's the point. I don't know. Kings are supposed to have wives, and overall marry other royals. You bet the list goes on and on." Scar pats Grian in the back. "This isn't such a big place, Hermittown, per se. You have... a possibility. Maybe one percent, but that's more than zero." Grian smirks and playfully pretends to slap Scar. "I only hate you sometimes, Scar."

"Your Highness, Mr 85 wants to see you." "Thank you. Please send him in." As he says this, the door of his living room is opened and Iskall walks in. "Mumbo, old pal! What's up, howdy, sup." "Hi, Iskall. Sometimes I feel like you're the only one not calling me 'your highness' or something around that unnecessarily formal shit." Iskall sits next to Mumbo. "Well, atleast there's one. I have something to talk about." Mumbo gets a grip of himself. "Oh no. What is it now? Did my cats throw up again?" Iskall chuckles. "I really wouldn't want to discuss this, but the auctority wants me to. Mumbo, you need to get married." The moustached man groans. "Not this again. I'm not even in my thirties! Should I have children already!?" Iskall pauses for a while. "According to the auctority... yes."

Mumbo stands up with his large hands in fists. "I don't want to! Can't they wait a bit more?" Iskall also stands up and pats his friend in the back. "They want a royal pair, because that would feel more professional, quoting them directly." "I bet my mom is somehow behind this", Mumbo chuckles. "She reminded me to get married when I was 15. But I'll think of it, a.k.a forget it until the auctority has balls to come knock on my door again." "Actually..." Iskall avoids eye contact. "They gave you a month to start dating someone you're possibly gonna marry." Mumbo locks eyes with his counselor. "A month?" Then he throws a pillow from the sofa to the floor. "Fuck."

Iskall giggles a bit, and then the two hear a knock from the door. Mumbo strokes his hair a bit and takes a deep breath. Then he goes and opens the door. "Your Highness, you have been sent a package. Do you want it being opened or do you want to open it yourself?" Mumbo raises his eyebrows. "I would like to open it myself, thank you." After a while, a very pink package with an equally pink ribbon is handed to the king. Mumbo blushes when seeing it. "Uhh", Iskall stutters. "Do you want me to leave, or...?" "No, stay", Mumbo says. "I don't want to open this alone. I hate to admit it, but I'm nervous about what's inside."

The moustached man unties the ribbon and opens the box. "F-flowers?" he blushes rapidly. "And a heart-shaped chocolate box." Iskall bursts out in loud laughter. "The plot thickens, Mumbo Jumbo! You've got a secret admirer!" Mumbo is completely frozen and looks at the roses in his hand. "Who might this be? I- I have no idea." Iskall thinks about it for a while. "I could go search for them. Maybe it's just a prank, but in my opinion, this would be a shitty prank. Can I go search for the consignor? Please?" "You can", Mumbo agrees. "Now I'm really curious." He opens the chocolate box and puts one in his mouth. "Mumbo, no, someone else has to taste it first, you have a man for that job, it can be pois-" "They're delicious, try one", Mumbo hands the box to Iskall, who refuses. "It's your chocolate. Eat them and... get poisoned." Both of them laugh.

"So, I'll leave now", Iskall informs. "To search for the person who used their money to buy you chocolate." "Adiós, amigo", Mumbo says. "Ask my servants to let you visit me again, because apparently you can't just call me." Iskall waves bye and exits the room. After going through various securites the royal palace has, he gets to go outside. Many people recognise him in the streets and ask about the king. Iskall answers his usual, "all good". He stops by to buy a bagel. Iskall is a sucker for bagels, and he knows the shop owner pretty well. "Hi, Scar! What bagel do you recommend today?" "The same as usual, Iskall", Scar says. "Actually, I have pretty important stuff to tell you. You get a bagel for free if you follow me to the back." "Always up for bagels. What is the problem?"