Seaside Rendezvous

I Miss You..

Roger's POV

Freddie told me that I should go home and get some sleep while they went and talked to Brian. I readily agreed as I was exhausted, and also just wanted a distraction from everything that had happened in the course of the day. I left Freddie's with a lot of thoughts swirling around my head, and didn't speak a word to the two walking next to me. When we reached my house, I uttered a goodbye and quickly got into my house, shutting the door and leaning against it with a sigh.

"Roger?" My mum called and I ran my hand over my face. I was completely talked out and didn't want any interaction with anyone until I'd fallen asleep for a bit. She came round the corner and looked slightly concerned at my stance.

"Please, mum, I need sleep..I'll talk later.." I told her and she nodded with a worried frown still plastered on her face. I thanked her quietly and grabbed my bag from where I'd dropped it off before heading to Fred's, and slowly made my way up the stairs. I left my bag by my desk and flopped down on my bed, slipping under the covers. I was asleep almost immediately.

I was back in Brian's room. His mum came in and said those words that caused this whole mess. Brian asked me about it. But instead of denying it, I confessed my strong feelings for him. I was expecting rejection but instead, he moved closer and put his hand on my knee. He took my chin and forced me to look at him.

"I like you too." Was all he said before pulling me into a sweet kiss. I was shocked but kissed back of course.

"How long have you liked me?" I asked after we'd broken the kiss.

"Um, I'm not sure entirely, but a very long time." He smiled at me and pulled me into a hug.

"What about you?" He asked and I thought for a bit.

"As long as I can remember.." I replied and inhaled his scent.

"Actually, I think I love you.." Brian said quietly and I pulled back from him and gave him a huge grin, kissing those beautiful lips.

"I love you too.."

I woke up with a warm feeling in my stomach, until I realised it was just a dream. I sighed and wished that I hadn't caused this huge mess. I wasn't mad at him anymore, I just felt a dull ache inside me. I missed him so much already. I knew that I was completely in the wrong. I remembered how scared he looked when I was becoming violent and it made my stomach roll. I shot up from bed and ran to the bathroom, vomiting violently into the toilet at the memory of how I made him feel. It clicked in my head that I had behaved just like Robert had, and I was sick again. I rested my head on the cool toilet seat as the sensation passed. I heard someone enter the bathroom and felt them start rubbing my back.

"Are you ok Rog?" My sister asked and I shook my head.

"I fucked up and the thought of what I did makes me sick.. literally.." I groaned and leaned back into her touch.

"Come tell me about it." She offered and I just nodded. I felt like telling her, she had always been a good sister and I knew she was a good listener.

"Please just don't tell mum..and don't judge.." I requested.

"Of course Dodger!" She complied and I stood up shakily and washed my face and mouth with water. Flushing the toilet, I followed my sister to my room and prepared myself for a stern telling off from my younger sister. We sat down on my bed and I sat against the wall and sighed.

"I fucked up so badly Clare. I hurt Brian.." I said and she gasped.

"Mentally or physically?" She questioned and I groaned loudly.