When I get inside the house I throw my bookbag down in frustration for the hundredth time. "Mom! I'm home. Need to talk!"
My mother Laura hesitantly rolls into the living room and locks her wheelchair. "So, what did you do this time?"
Heat rises in my face and my palms go clammy. "Geez, nothing bad you dont have to hold your breath."
"So..."
I plant a quick kiss on my mom's cheek and hold her hand. "It's just that I have to attend a tutoring session on friday before rehearsal."
My mother squeezes my hand and unlocks her wheels, returning to the kitchen. I follow her grabbing a banana from the center island. "You know, this could be good for you. With the way your grades have been slipping lately. I worry about you."
My face drops and I hug my mom from behind her chair. "You shouldn't worry so much, I'll be fine."
"You would let me know if somthing were wrong wouldn't you?"
I look down, the floor suddenly looking more appealing to me. "You know that I would tell you anything."
I've always had a good relationship with my mom, but recently I've been worrying about letting her down. I still think I'd tell her anything, but I know it is only getting harder to do so. Last year when I came out as gay she was the first person I told. When I went through my first heartbreak, she's the person I chose to confide in. Everything I do I do for her. Every win, I win for her, every performance, I perform for her. But when I fail, I fail her. So why can't I get my act together?
The rest of the evening I spend staring out my bedroom window thinking about anything that will distract me. Thinking about why my father left after mom's accident, why he never payed a dollar in child support, why boys always use me as an experiment and never fall in love. Of course the more I try to distract myself the darker my thoughts become.
Suddenly the trees begin to whisper to me. "Jeremiah, you're worthless. You fool. You rat. Your mom is disappointed in you." My knees curl tightly to my chest and my eyes grow pink and wet. Just make it until friday. Go inside with your head held high. Don't let them judge you. Even more importantly, dont forget your text books on friday. Memory please dont fail me this time.
Taking out my book, I begin to read the next chapter of 'The Great Gatsby' over and over again, but the words become more and more meaningless every time I look at them. Eventually I give up and face plant into my pillow trying to drown out the trees. "You can't even read, stupid boy."
YOU ARE READING
Fly For Me Bluebird (boy×boy)
Romance*COMPLETED* Jeremiah has always been a model student until an early onset of a psychosis related illness sees his grades plummeting and his depression at an all time high. When Mrs. Willow invites him to start tutoring sessions, it's honestly the la...
