handprints on my soul - jaylor oneshots

hold on to the memories

Taking a deep breath in, Taylor set the phone against a roll of toilet paper and pressed record, centering herself in the screen.

"I don't know why I'm filming this," she began, a nervous smile taking up her lips. Her leg bounced up and down and she bit her lip, looking down at the white stick. "It's never been positive before... I just kind of have a feeling this time. And I want to remember it, if it is."

The bathroom door was pushed open, and Taylor whipped her head around, seeing Benjamin wander into the room. She crouched down, scooping him up in her arms.

"Look at who came to visit... help me pass the time," Taylor laughed, showing off the cat to the video. "Hey, Benji buddy. How are you today?"

The cat nuzzled his head into Taylor's chest, then looked up at her with big blue eyes.

Taylor chuckled, setting him down to walk around on the counter.

"Whew, I'm so scared," Taylor said, and laughed just at that. "These three minutes are always the longest minutes of my life. Time just seems to stop."

Looking at the clock, the hands seemes to move slower than normal. Taylor couldn't tell if it was just in her mind or not.

Her finger tapped on the counter, and she watched Benji smell a bar of soap.

"Maybe it's stupid to record this. Like, who's to say this will be something to remember?" Taylor said. She wasn't quite sure who she was even talking to anymore, but at that point, she'd do anything to pass the time. "I mean, six months and it's been nothing. But this time it feels different I guess. So yeah."

Taylor bit her lip again, her finger running over the white, plastic stick that was face down on the counter.

"I'm just... I don't want to think what could be if it is positive?" She said this as if it were a question, her voice rising at the end. "Because the first time I did that, it wasn't positive, and then I was sad, and I don't want to do that again."

Now Taylor had run out of things to say, and instead she just watched the clock tick down until finally it had been three minutes.

"Okay. I'm really... I don't know what to do. Okay. I'm just gonna turn it over," said Taylor. Holding her breath, she wrapped her fingers around the stick and flipped it to face her.

There were a few seconds of silence and just staring at it before Taylor exhaled and her hand dropped.

"One line," she said, holding it in front if the camera. She wasn't sure why, as now there was no chance in her mind of anyone ever seeing this. "I don't know... I shouldn't have expected different. I know I said I wasn't gonna get my hopes up, but I think I did."

Because she was unsure of what else to do, Taylor just chewed on the side of her lip. She didn't turn the camera off, she didn't have the heart to.

"It feels so... I don't even know. Anticlimactic? What do I do now?" asked Taylor. "I really thought..." She swallowed, holding the test back up to look at again.

Just as she was about to let it drop onto the counter, something caught her eye. She frowned, squinting slightly and blocking the light with her hand. Though it was very faint, Taylor could just see a second line.

"Hold on..." she whispered, setting it down and leaning over it. "Wait, it's like... doing something. I can't tell... am I crazy? Is that a second line?"

She held the test up to the camera again, not even sure if it would pick up on the very faint second line.

"I think I might be crazy. There can't be a second line, right? Does that happen?" asked Taylor. "Does it take more than three minutes sometimes?"

Continuing to look at the small screen, it became clearer that there was a second line on there. It only darkened a bit, but there was no denying it was there.

"Oh my god. Oh my god, there's a second line. There's a second line!" said Taylor, clasping her hand over her mouth. "Oh my... Wow. Wow, I was not expecting that after... oh my god."

She looked down at the test again, still wanting to triple check that she wasn't crazy. "It's there. It really is. I have a baby in me... what the fuck. What the... oh my god," Taylor said, feeling the tears in her eyes. She laughed, everything suddenly becoming amusing and exciting. "This is crazy! I'm so glad I didn't stop filming, oh my god. This is so... I can't even describe it. I'm going to have a baby. Joe and I are going to be parents... fuck, there's so many emotions so quickly," Taylor laughed, congested from the tears.

"Benj, you're not the baby of the family anymore," Taylor told him, brimming with excitement. "Youre the first one I told! I'm pregnant, Benj!" She picked up the cat, holding him close to her. "I need to tell Joe, he's gonna be so happy."

Looking into the camera, Taylor bent down to say some final words. "I don't know who ever will see this, but I hope whoever does finds something cool about it. I don't know. It's gonna be such a cool memory to have, I think. Um, yeah. I can't wait to meet you, baby. I'm so excited!"

She ended the recording, slipping her phone into her pocket. Unable to wait to tell Joe, she rushed out of the bathroom and to the office, where she kept multiple gift boxes for whenever she'd need them. Quickly, she found one about the right size and put the pregnancy test in before she raced down the stairs, finding Joe on the couch answering emails.

"Joe," she said, feeling like a toddler excited to show a parent something they'd just made.

Joe looked up, smiling at her. "What's up?" he asked, seeing her eagerness.

"Come with me. I made you something, I want to show you," Taylor said, her speech coming in a rush.

Wondering what Taylor could be up to, Joe chuckled and stood up, looking unsure but intrigued. "Lead the way. Where to?"

"The attic," Taylor answered, already walking the other direction with Joe in tow. He followed her up the stairs and then up the ladder to the attic, which they'd turned into a private hangout room for if the roof was unavailable at the moment.

"So, what is it?" Joe asked, clasping his hands together and taking a seat on a beanbag chair.

"Here," Taylor grinned, handing him the small box.

He looked at it, then up at her, his eyebrows just raised. Then he took off the top, revealing the inside contents.

There were a few seconds of stunned silence before Joe was setting the box aside and rushing to Taylor, wrapping his arms around her and picking her up, spinning around once.

"We're having a baby!" Taylor cried, laughing as Joe set her back on the ground.

Joe looked at her, his eyes glistening in a blue kaleidoscope with tears. "I'm so happy," he whispered, engulfing her again in a tight hug.

He got down now, putting his head against her stomach and wrapping his arms around her legs. He kissed her tummy once, and then just laid his head there, imagining this small person inside Taylor that would change their lives in so many ways for the better.

Taylor ran her hands through his hair, picturing this same future and feeling like the luckiest girl in the world.

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hi i wrote this in like an hour after watching a tiktok and i felt like posting it so i hope you like it and have a good rest of your weekend and we'll be back to regularly scheduled posting on monday.