Children of Night and Snow

65. Live Or Die

In the nearly eight months I've lived with them, it became quite clear that our little group wasn't exactly the most talkative bunch. We'd do our best to hang out and talk at least once a day of course, but it was also obvious that they all preferred their own peace and quiet. And in my time with them, I grew quite fond of that concept, too. This created a strange harmony within our minipack. Due to the fact that we were sharing one living space together, it was only our ability to ignore each other at times, which helped us stay sane. I didn't know what our lives would look like once we went through the tests. If we'd have enough money to be able to afford some privacy. But it wasn't exactly my top priority either. After everything I went through, I was grateful for any small thing I had in my life. And having seven close companions was a gift from Gods themselves.

But despite our habits of silence, the night after the general came for a visit was quieter than usual, more tense. We all knew that tomorrow things could go really, really wrong for our little group. We probably should have sat down and planned for the worst case scenarios, but somehow we all seemed to be in the silent agreement, that we didn't want to face those possibilities. We had to make it. Not just tomorrow, but through the tests in June as well. There was no backup plan. No other way in or out. It was either Midnight City or nothing. And even the thought of being a rogue in this hostile land again made me want to cry.

I was squeezing Nolan's hand way too hard as we walked towards the dining hall the next morning, but if he minded, he said nothing of it. Instead he offered me a squeeze back. I wish it reassured me, but it didn't. Nothing could ease my nerves as we entered the place and I realized that we weren't the only ones feeling this way. Almost everyone looked a shade paler in their faces and very few were actually eating. The suspense was palpable in the room.

And then we heard the heavy entrance door open on the other side of the room and the general from the previous day entered along with a whole unit of soldiers in tow. All of them dressed in black fighting leathers, with masks on their eyes and long black coats with North Star symbol on the chest. Their presence screamed danger and demanded respect so much, I had to fight the urge to bare my neck to them in submission. This wasn't that surprising in the presence of the general, but they were only soldiers. They stood there, awaiting orders, their masked faces unreadable. Were they like us once? Sitting in this very room, terrified about their future? Was this whom I would become if I made it?

With a single nod from their superior, the unit of deadly wolves circled the room before each soldier approached a different trainee. It took another silent nod for the trainees to be roughly grabbed and dragged out of the room by those very soldiers. Some went willingly, as if accepting their fate, some begged and cried for another chance, some even tried to fight. All that while I sat there, frozen in my seat with fear, unable to move or look around to check that none of my friends were amongst those poor unfortunate souls. In fact I was still expecting to feel the arms of one of the soldiers around me, pulling me out of my seat and away into the freezing eternal night. I waited and waited, but it didn't come.

"No, I'm not leaving! I'm not going to let you take me away! You wanna see a fighter, you just-" shouted one of the females who was being dragged away, her voice pulling me out of my petrified state as I watched how she attempted to fight back only for the soldier holding her to snap her neck in a brutal fashion before she could finish her sentence. Her body hit the ground with a loud thud and an iron scent of freshly spilled blood hit my nostrils. I looked down to see the pool of blood on the floor beneath her lifeless body. The soldier didn't just break her neck. They nearly ripped her head off. A statement and a warning.

"You may be refugees, but don't make the mistake of thinking anyone cares. If you want your place in the Midnight Army, you will have to earn it," the general's voice cut through the silence and I willed my face to hide any fear, disgust or other emotion I may have felt.

"Because you are sitting here right now, listening to me, it means you have passed your first test. There are now roughly sixty of you still in the game, but I can tell you now, that only twenty will make it past the gates of Midnight City when this is all over in June. How will you secure your place amongst those twenty is now solely up to you. Let the games begin as I would say," he finished his speech with a wicked smirk and without another word, him and his soldiers left the room.

The atmosphere in the room shifted after that. And not in a good way. It was clear that everyone's guard went up a thousandfold. The crowd began to divide into invisible groups. There were the tough guys, mostly rogues raised by the harsh winds of the open plains of Winterlands. These wolves were pure predators and it was more than clear that they weren't going to just wait for the trials to approach and risk being outsmarted. No, they were going to do their best to eliminate as much competition as possible including and especially those like them.

Then there were the weaker links. You could tell they were not exactly fighters and their faces and postures were now giving away clear fear of what was to come. Seeing them made me realize just how vital Az' training was in those past months. If he didn't teach me, drill all these things into my brain, I would have now likely be like them. And that would put not only me in danger, but my friends as well.

Third group were wolves like us. We gave away nothing about our intentions or feelings. Unpredictability was our best weapon and that made us all the more threatening. I could practically feel targets being painted on my back as we got up and walked out of the dining hall towards our room. We didn't need to say anything to know that we weren't going to the gym today. It was time for a plan if we were to survive this.

"That was intense," Connor sighed once we closed the door of our room and left the tension in the hall behind us.

"Well, the peace was nice while it lasted," Demi said. She had her arms around Lucia's waist as she hugged her from behind and was now resting her chin on her wife's shoulder.

"Why the masks?" I asked, trying to gather missing pieces of information.

"To give the soldiers normal lives. When you live in the city, your military identity is protected for your and your loved ones safety," Aaron explained. I simply nodded. It made a lot of sense. The soldier's masks were plain and all were the same, nothing like the fancy masks we wore during Solstice.

"We need to be on guard from now on," Devan brought us back to the more pressing topic before I could ask anymore questions. The message was clear. Now wasn't the time. I could learn all I wanted about Midnight Army once I actually got far enough to enter it. Masks weren't important if I wasn't alive long enough to wear one of them. The thought of that brought back the memory of all those soldiers. My future, if I ever got that far. Was that something I actually wanted? I didn't think so. My past self was becoming more and more distant with each day, but I did remember that violence was not in my life goals and dreams. But what choice did I have, if I wanted to live?

"We can't make any mistakes from now on. Don't leave any of your stuff unattended, especially not food or drinks. Nobody goes anywhere alone. And we will keep watch at night also," Aaron laid out a plan for all of us to follow.

"Freya should start training with the whole group also," Nolan pointed out and I could tell without looking, that Az was already about to protest. I really didn't like how the two of them were looking at each other lately, especially when my name was mentioned. Last thing I wanted was to cause a rift in the group. But with next to no option for privacy, resolving this would have to wait.

"Morning with Az, afternoon with everyone. It's a good compromise," I stated firmly, leaving no room for argument.

"That's settled then. Eleven more weeks to go in this rotten place and then we're getting through that blasted Midnight City gate or we die trying," Lucia commented and we all nodded in agreement. There was nothing else needed to be said after all.