Children of Night and Snow

29. First Hunt

"Just in time!" Nolan exclaimed cheerfully and took off toward the edge of the forest, towards a small entry to a cave in a nearby mountain rock. Devan and I wordlessly followed him into our shelter for the night. And just as we entered, I could see the first snowflakes fly by. I shook the melting snow off my fur, relieved to finally be somewhere, where wind couldn't reach me.

"What is this place?" I asked as we ventured deeper and deeper into the cave until I could only see outlines of Nolan and Devan ahead of me and the rocks above us thanks to my enhanced vision.

"It's our base when we hunt. This area has a lot of animals," Devan explained. In the dark I could see Nolan shift and quickly reach for something in his backpack. Briefly I wondered if I should shift too, but Devan wasn't, so I waited. Nolan pulled out a lighter and lit a fire in an already prepared pile of wood before pulling a fur coat out, covering himself in it. They clearly made sure this place always had wood when they came to hunt. Once the fire was lit Devan did the same as Nolan and I followed while hiding in the shadow as if they couldn't see me either way. The coat quickly replaced the heat which disappeared with my own fur and I sat down by the fire, leaning against Nolan's shoulder.

"You need to drink and eat before you pass out," Devan reminded me when he noticed my eyelids were getting suspiciously heavy. I groaned. Even reaching into my stash of food and drink seemed like an effort.

"Come on, you can do it," Nolan whispered to me. I groaned some more, but he pushed me off of him, effectively forcing me to listen. With a sigh I pulled out my water bottle and a bag of dried meat each of us brought along. We ate in silence, all of us feeling tired after the long journey.

"I'll take the first watch," Nolan announced when we finished. Only then I remembered that this was a thing. One of us had to stay awake and guard the place. So at some point it would be my turn to be awake, keep the fire going and most importantly, to guard and protect the two men I was here with.

"Go to sleep, Freya, I'll wake you up when it's your turn," Devan told me, then he shifted back into his wolf form and made himself comfortable on the ground. I gave Nolan a quick kiss and then, doing my best to not show my doubts, I followed the suit and so did Nolan. I drifted off the sleep listening to his heartbeat and the fire cracking next to us, while he stayed up to keep watch.

"Freya, wake up!" I heard Devan calling in my head startling me awake. I opened my eyes lazily to see Devan sleeping soundly next to me. I stood up as silently as I could, applying some of Connor's lessons into my movements. "Just keep the fire going. If you hear someone coming in, wake us up. Don't just wander off trying to solve it on your own."

"Got it," I replied as I found a comfortable sitting position with a good view of the cave's entrance. And then there was silence. Devan was pretty much asleep the moment he lied down. It was admirable really. I wasn't well rested by any means, but I didn't expect to be. This wasn't a luxury holiday after all. One more night like this before we went back home.

Home. I couldn't remember when that two and half story house with a strange metal door into the tunnels and a skylight above our bed became my home, but the thought of that made me all warm and fuzzy inside. Even if it wasn't much, having a place to come back to from hunts like this one was something I didn't even dare dream of when I took my first steps onto the Frozen Wastes. But I made it across and to Duskfall, I survived the deadly cold, the sharp winds, the hopelessness of life in the tunnels. I survived and in return I found a group of friends. And a boyfriend. Or whoever Nolan was to me. We still didn't really discuss that part.

My watch lasted a few hours and was fairly uneventful. The biggest threat I faced was an utter boredom of not having anything to do or anyone to talk to. The boys got up on their own and the only way I could tell it was early morning was a small pocket watch Nolan carried in his backpack. We put out the fire and got wood ready for our return in the evening. There was a whole pile of it in the corner, something I assumed they regularly restocked while on their hunts. After we made sure our stuff was properly hidden away to not attract anyone else into the cave and the firepit was ready, we left in silence.

The storm may have passed, but that also meant a lot more snow we had to get through before we reached our hunting spot as Nolan put it. By the time we got where the guys deemed it to be a good place, I was already feeling cold and exhaustion in my bones. Embarrassed to admit I was ready to go home before we even actually did any hunting, I did my best to pretend I was absolutely fine and since none of them asked, I was either a good actor or they didn't comment on it to make me feel better. Either was cool with me.

"Freya, pay attention!" Devan snapped me out of my thoughts demanding my attention.

"Focus," he told me. We were now deep in the woods. I took a deep breath and put all my focus into my senses. I could hear the forest and the life within in form of the steps of nearby deer. I looked in the direction of the sound to find out I could make them out in the distance. Instinctively I crouched down a little and started moving towards them. Slowly, deliberately, in absolute silence as I followed Devan and Nolan.

"You want to separate them first. Pick one and pounce. You want to hit it in any way you can. Hurt it, weaken it. Once the herd runs off and you're alone with it, go after its neck. Bite through and pull sharply to the side. It breaks their neck, killing them instantly. You ready?" Nolan asked me when he relied one last set of instructions to me. I wasn't ready. I watched the group of deer in front of us absolutely not ready to hurt let alone kill any of them. The thought alone was horrifying. Some predator I was. But I was too ashamed to say that to him, so I just nodded, unable to actually voice it even if only in his mind.

"You'll be fine. Just follow our lead," he reassured me, or tried to anyway, probably seeing how unsure I was about this whole thing. I just nodded again not wanting my inner voice to betray exactly why I was so hesitant.

Devan was the first to pounce. Nolan followed right after. They moved so fast I saw nothing but a blur before they struck. The deer stood absolutely no chance. I had to make my move before the herd managed to escape, but instead I just stood there, frozen for long seconds, losing precious time. The deer now realized their predicament and began to run. And I just stood there, frozen.

"FREYA!" I heard Devan's angry voice in my head. He rarely ever lost his calm, but when he did, whoever was on the receiving end was in deep shit. I learnt as much the first and only time he used it on me before, which was when I slept in and then begged for a break during my first week of training the same day.

"Move, Freya!" He yelled again and out of pure self-preservation, I did. I pounced, burying my claws in one of the confused deer who stalled and was now a few seconds too late to escape.It cried out in pain and I wanted to cry too as it struggled to escape my grasp.

"Stop wasting time. Kill it," Nolan's voice cut through my emotions, reminding me what I had to do. The deer was still thrashing around helplessly as I sank my canines into its neck, remembering the instructions Nolan gave me earlier. I could smell the iron scent of blood that filled my mouth. And then I pulled sharply, breaking the deer's neck with a sickening crack that seemed to echo in the woods surrounding us, a reminder of what I'd just done. I nearly threw up.

If killing the deer wasn't hard enough, dragging its corpse back into the cave in a very tense silence surely did it. I felt sick to my stomach, my brain putting the sound of broken neck on replay in my mind like a sick joke. I just killed another being. All I wanted to do was to curl up in a ball and cry. Over the dead deer, the fact that I was the one who killed it, but also that I almost failed and that Devan was now absolutely furious with me and I had no idea how to fix this mess.