TIME AFTER TIME ; jjk

19

I raised a brow, crossing arms across my chest, my breath controlled and restrained. "So I am the bad guy."

"Isn't that obvious? By the way you're treating me, always resisting what I want from you while you're expecting to get something from me is hypocritical."

My hands dropped to my sides, the spark of the day dismantling in my body. I massaged my nape, gentle and careful, hoping the nerves would go easy on me. "Are we fighting again? I don't have much energy for this."

"Me, either." She rolled her eyes. "I'll see you later." But even with an impatient face, she rested her hand on my shoulder for support as she tiptoed, planting a quick kiss on my cheek.

The gesture made me feel even more guilty of not feeling anything romantic for her.

. . .

I spent my lunch hour and the following hours doing documentation work and going through my college medical books as refresher and felt the hunger kick in by the time Taehyung had finished assisting on a minor operation and asked me to meet Soohyun. Usual snack hangout, he said. I forgot it was still their thing. Both of us headed to the cafeteria, finding Soohyun to have already occupied a table, a variety of snacks mapped out for us to choose from. She looked enthusiastically proud about it as she offered a detailed explanation where she bought them from. And when she noticed she was babbling too much, she seemed to feel embarrassment as her words slowed down. I watched her get consciously uncomfortable, she then met my eyes and smiled, changing the subject of the conversation.

"You've been well?" she asked me, handing a pair of chopsticks over to me. I thanked her and half-smiled, grateful for the fact she loved buying us food for free because she did not want accepting our money. She's really nice, so nice she does not ask for something in return now.

"Yup. I suppose it's the same for you?"

"Our professor was replaced by someone more intimidating, and I had a really shitty morning today. But I guess one bad morning doesn't equate to a bad life. I'm managing just fine. It will take time to adjust to the pressure, so I'm taking it easy."

"You're still pretty so there's that," Taehyung said, trying to lighten the mood.

"Fortunately!" Soohyun agreed with an assertive nod, and from the way she flipped her hair, I could tell she was joking.

I laughed, light and airy.

"You boys have to eat a lot. I won't be joining you for the next days, or weeks."

Taehyung asked, "Got tired of our faces?"

"That could be part of the reason, but I started my clinical research. I need more time to juggle between that and actual job but you can message me anytime we are not seeing each other."

"Why don't we have a group chat?"

"Why don't you make one?" Soohyun shifted her gaze from my best friend to me. "It doesn't hurt to text a hi or an emoji every once in a while. It's awkward that you don't initiate now that we're friends so I'm not doing anything either."

"Huh?" was all I said, scared that my voice would tremble if more words came out.

"Don't be awkward with me is all."

I shook my head, unable to believe she could talk about it so easily. I thought starting over meant not mentioning a thing at all. But I guess not. "I'm not awkward with you anymore."

"Taehyung's always blowing up my phone with notifications while you're practically a ghost. I don't buy that."

I felt the blood rise up to my cheeks that I wanted to cover them, hide my face or anything I could to steer clear of the topic. "People care about friends differently. I'm not a texter. I am not into virtual communication, but I try. Taehyung can confirm that."