And If I Fall, Let Me Part I: At Your Service - A. Hotchner x OC & Jemily

Honesty is such a lonely word

The other man laughed, patting his shoulder.

"See you tomorrow, man."

****

Hotch didn't quite know why he was still there. To review some of the information, he told himself. Definitely not to get a chance to talk to Alex. There was no reason that he was acutely aware she was on the phone right now. When the last Secret Service agent had left, and Hotch had decided it was his turn as well, the door to her office opened. Leaning in her door frame, Alex looked at him.

"What are you still doing here?" she asked softly. Gesturing towards the board, he sighed. Good question.

"I wanted to check some things."

Pushing herself off, Alex walked over to where he was sitting, slumping into the chair next to him.

"And?"

It sure was a thing of the late time that he needed a second to realize what she meant.

"Didn't find too much."

She nodded, looking at the photos on the board. Her gaze turned distant.

"Everything alright? You've been on the phone for a while." he couldn't help but ask. He knew he had no right, but with her, talking like this had always been...just easy. As if nothing was off-limits.

Her eyes snapped back to him, a curious expression in them before she buried it under something neutral.

"My niece Katie told me all about her first day as a freshman. It's apparently very exciting," she said, twirling the end of her ponytail around her finger, "But I'm sensing I will be doing a lot of history tutoring this year."

There was something else, he could tell.

"She's your sister kid, right?" he asked, as he watched the expression in her eyes turning more painful. Alex nodded, looking down for a second.

"Yeah, she is. Charlotte has...she is sick," she mumbled, meeting his eyes again, "Cancer."

Hotch, against his usual nature, cursed under his breath. Before he could stop himself, he took her hand in his. Alex didn't pull it back.

"I'm sorry," he offered, and she nodded, "Is it why you came back?"

She froze up momentarily. Then Alex shook her head.

"Found out after I already started here. How's Jack?"

Hotch blinked a few times. How did she know? He hadn't been born when they had met overseas. The time over the years they had seen each other in passing on Capitol Hill, they hadn't gotten the chance to talk. Alex smiled.

"Sorry, you're not the only one who tags people, Hotch."

So she probably knew about Haley, too. "Is this how you found my tag?"

Alex shrugged. "I remembered what you said about the FBI all those years ago. When I came back I thought: why not find out?"

"I see. Jack is a big fan of soccer, dogs, and chocolate cake," he said, a crooked smile making its way onto his lips. He looked up to find her hazel eyes full of emotions. He didn't know what any of them meant. "You would like him, he doesn't particularly like rules."

Small laughter pearled from her lips and he couldn't help but join in. Damn, that feels good, he thought to himself, still holding onto her hand.

"Maybe he wants to join in on our self-defense program. I have a puppy in training at the moment. German shepherd, and very cute."

He nodded, not wanting this moment to end. But he knew he had to somehow. "I'm sure he would love to."

Before he could say something else, Alex gently pulled her hand back, avoiding his eyes. "I gotta go, or else I won't sleep at all tonight."

She stood up. "I'll get my bag and walk you out?" she asked in his direction. Nodding, Hotch grabbed his own stuff. He wondered how well he would sleep after this day. When she came back with her bag, he spoke up again.

"I'm sorry about doubting you with Garcia before."

Alex only shrugged as they walked down the hall. "You protect your team, I admire that."

Sighing, Hotch rubbed his face.

"Still. I don't think you're an asshole. Like you put it so delicately."

He rather felt than saw Alex grin as they walked down the hall.

"I'm glad you think that," she said. Stopping in front of the elevators, Alex turned to him, the curious expression back. "Why did you tag me in the first place, Aaron?"

Yeah, why did you? He thought back to the conversation that had led up to his unusually impulsive act, the buzzing feeling of maybe seeing her again after all these years. Now he just felt a little stupid for it.

"I met Randy, from our unit. Randomly, in a coffee shop," he said quietly, "He told me you were coming back after all this time. And I...I don't know. I was curious to see where you'd end up."

That did not explain why he hadn't called in all those months. No, he had checked the tag every few weeks, hoping they would magically run into each other. And now that they had, he wondered why he hadn't called before. Alex hummed, stepping into the elevator. The ride downstairs was silent, apart from the glances she threw in his direction.

When they passed the security desk, she cleared her throat. "I should've called," Alex said, looking at him. "Sorry I didn't."

He shook his head at her. "I should've called too."

She stopped at her car, shrugging.

"We're here now, thanks to three dead bodies," she said dryly, "See you tomorrow?"

He let his eyes flicker over her face for a second before he nodded. "Yeah, see you tomorrow."