Jesse's Girl

Chapter 20

    I had no objections to anyone stating that I was unstable – since in reality, I've been getting to thinking like that more and more lately. And quite frankly, it was getting rather annoying.

    But whether it killed me or not, I wouldn't give Jesse the satisfaction of anything at all. Not only to wound his ego, but also, to prove a point – if I had fallen into a trance and said yes for him to drive me to school, he'd feel like he was dominant.

    And I'd be damned if I gave him that right.

    Though all in all, I had still been shaking – not only from the freezing weather outside, but after what he did. I had half a mind to touch my cheek again, but thought better of it.

    I wasn't the stronger person anymore, having someone I was supposed to hate chase me around was the cause, clearly – but in a way I found myself to be mean also, since rejecting Jesse so much must have had an effect. Though not on him, but myself.

    I looked up at the rows of books, secretly imagining what would happen if it toppled over – and created a domino effect on all of the bookcases.

    Would it be so bad if I pushed it? And would it be worse if I got a camera to record it happening? Would I go to jail?

    The sound of laughter erupted from the end of the aisle, and I threw my last thought away.

    Knocking over a bookcase for your own amusement? How sick and twisted are you?

    I looked down to the book on my lap, disregarding the few strands of hair that fell in front of my face when I inclined my head forward. That was until I realized that my hair was down, which was odd, since I left the house with it up.

    I leaned back and tied it again, brushing my fingers through my hair, and then flinching when I let my hand trail down and linger along my cheek.

    Get a hold of yourself, Carson. You're acting like a lovesick teenager, and it's getting kind of depressing.

    I dropped my hand and continued to flip through pages of the book I had, only reading words here and there but never letting them sink in before I dozed off. All I knew about it was that there were vampires and then something about guardians.

    It sounded promising...

        "There you are." I turned to the sound, and dreadfully realized that the bastard knew where my secret refuge was. "If I didn't know any better I would have thought you were avoiding me."

    I looked down, away from his face, and muttered to myself, "It was good while it lasted."

    He sighed, not seeming to have heard what I said, and settled on the floor beside me – making it a point to touch me. Such an act had me wanting to cower away, no matter how much I thought about this morning.

    I tried not to make it seem as if I noticed, but either way, I shifted so that I could sit facing him instead of just next to him. Letting myself look at him for a second, I could easily tell that he didn't like that I moved, but he let it go and didn't comment on it. "What is that about?"

    I followed his gaze to the book in my hands, and decided being a jerk was my calling in a time like this. I made my voice like Katrina's, soft and at ease.

        "Well, it's about a girl in high school – she used to be happy, but then this idiot guy had to come in and ruin it," I was trying my best to refrain from laughing at his expression. "He follows her everywhere, thinking that by some slim chance she'll give in and they'll live happily ever after. But, she knows all he's really planning is just to treat her like all the others. So she tries to ignore him, but the bastard doesn't get the message."