The Five Dimensions Part 1: Shadow World

Chapter 37

The ride felt like it would never end. Hailey really wished these Soul Hunters had imported a metro or something from the human world. The moment she became accustomed to the rhythm of the movements she found herself to be terribly tired. Technically, she was only awake for a few hours, but from the way she was feeling heavy, it seemed like she hadn't slept in days. Usually, Hailey's stamina lasted longer.

She didn't open her eyes at all, so she had no idea where she was, she didn't even care as long as she could just get off the horse as quickly as possible. There were very little noises. Especially since Ash stopped trying to talk to her. Hailey felt relieved because she didn't trust herself to open her mouth, but she was also starting to feel kind of lonely in the silence. She also felt guilty. She could've made this fun, let Ash tell her facts about the things they passed, if only she wasn't completely paralyzed. They could've talked more about the Third Dimension.

Hailey tried to open her eyes several times, unsuccessfully. Very suddenly, they jumped over something. Involuntarily, Hailey's eyes flashed open for a second and she caught a glance of her surroundings. Everything around her was green, with some brown mixed into it. They were moving too fast for her to have seen more than a blur, but she immediately knew they were in a forest. She should've been able to smell it and realizing she hadn't, shook her awake a little. The forest was her home, it was where she was comfortable, even if it wasn't her forest.

Hailey took a deep breath and let the mixture of scents enter her nose, ignoring the fear-inducing smell of the animal she was on. It was different from what she usually smelled in a forest. At home the smells weren't usually very distinct, they were all kind of the same and fused together. In this forest, however, there were extreme smells that stood out against the normal earthy background. There were very sweet smells and very bitter smells, even a couple very unpleasant ones, and none of them lasted very long. Every time it seemed like they passed the source of such a distinct smell and then it never returned. Every smell was completely unique.

Hailey focused on the sounds now. She heard the thump-thump... thump-thump of horse hooves on soft dirt, occasionally the snapping of twigs. There was a soft breeze waving its way through the leaves, creating a soft whistling sound almost like music. It was very quiet for a forest that she felt should have been alive with animal noises. Maybe that was just how she imagined a fairy tale forest to be.

"Ash?" Hailey began quietly.

"Yes?" His voice was soft and kindly invited her to talk to him. She felt like she knew Ash for a very long time but really, she was only just getting to know him. She wasn't sure how he would react to certain things, like the strange things that had happened throughout her life that she didn't discuss with anyone. Even if she didn't want to completely trust him with her memories yet, she didn't want to get on his bad side either because he would stop answering her question truthfully.

"I'm sorry about not telling you before, it's just, well, I don't really like to think about it," she said trying to force her words out, syllable for syllable as if she was speaking in a foreign language. What she said now would affect how things would go later on. Her words felt heavy. "I know it's not fair to not explain."

"I get it. You don't have to tell me, even though I'd really like to know, I'm not going to push you." This surprised Hailey, even when she knew it was stupid to be surprised. Ash really seemed like the person who would push people into doing things and telling things they didn't want to. At least, that was how he acted most of the time. Ash was much more complicated and there were still many layers left for Hailey to discover.

Even though Ash couldn't really lie to Hailey without her knowing, she had a really hard time finding out who he was ― with him acting differently every two seconds ― she just couldn't quite put his pieces together. And it basically drove her nuts. Every time he put on a new mask, she got frustrated and that led to her becoming harsher than Ash maybe deserved. Not that Hailey would ever ― as in never ever ― admit that, at least not to Ash's face of course. She still hated him... a little.

"It's really nice of you to say that, but you still deserve an explanation..." Hailey bit back. She didn't like retelling bad memories, which is why she never did. Besides, telling people that you were attacked by an abnormally large donkey when you were little doesn't make for very good conversation. "I didn't have much when I was young, but I had one friend, so to say, but that friend turned on me out of nothing and I barely got out alive. I really trusted that horse―"

"Are you bleeding?" Ash stopped the horse by firmly pulling the reins and grabbed Hailey's arm. She was surprised to see he was right. If he hadn't pointed it out, she wouldn't even have noticed. She had unwittingly been scratching at one of the cuts on her arm. There was a tiny smudge of blood smeared on both Hailey's sleeve and Ash's shirt.

Ash made Hailey's hand relax. She slowly pulled her arm back to her chest and quietly looked at the small red stain with amazement. Hailey tried to say something, anything really, but she couldn't get her voice to work.

She saw some movements in front of her, her eyes still fixed on her arm, and the next moment, Ash was sitting with his back to the head of his horse and was facing Hailey.

After a moment, she let her eyes leave her hand, making their way to Ash's face, "I'm so sorry for ruining your shirt!" it came out louder than Hailey planned. She immediately felt stupid for shouting, knowing that such a mini bit of blood wouldn't ruin any shirt. Ash just chuckled.

"It doesn't matter. Not like I'm not used to it," he said. "Now, would you stop hurting yourself all the time? You're supposed to be my responsibility and you're not making it any easier."

After looking at Ash intentionally ― attempting to dig into his soul through his eyes ― she felt weak while she said, "I'm sorry." Thankfully, her voice was normal again. She tried to hold his gaze, but she didn't trust herself to keep her wall up firmly.

"For what?" he began with a smile. "For making it hard for me? I like the challenge. For being scared? That's only human."

"But humans are weak and lame and they're worth nothing, especially not here. Isn't that why God banned humans? Doesn't that make us some kind of evil, or at least wrong?" The words came out in a rush. She wasn't sure where they were coming from. Of the many things that worried her, God's banishment wasn't high on her list. At least not consciously. Clearly, some part of her was very worried about it.

Ash seemed to think deeply about what to say before he answered, "Being human doesn't mean being weak, it means being vulnerable. And you have to be vulnerable to feel emotions. Soul Hunters might be less vulnerable, but sometimes that makes us emotionless. Eventually, seeing death after death, you turn hard on the outside and later on the inside too." Hailey got the feeling he was talking from experience, but she didn't know if it were his own or something he had seen happen to someone else.

"But still, God banned―"

"That doesn't make humans evil," he cut her off. "It makes them different from God's perfect picture of his paradise. And that difference is exactly what makes humans ... interesting." He had a point ― even if the way he said interesting wasn't altogether assuring ― but Hailey was trying to explain something, and she didn't even know what it was. She was sorry, but for what? God knows! ― no wait, better say nobody knows, since God might be listening.

"Then, I'm sorry for ... everything else," Hailey said, her voice not small anymore but loud and filled with annoyance. She was determined to regain herself. She wasn't looking at Ash, but it stayed silent for so long that she looked up at him for any reaction. He looked at her sternly, clearly putting up the highest defense he could possibly get to cover whatever his eyes might reveal. It made it extremely hard for Hailey to read even a little bit of his expression.

It couldn't have been more than a few seconds, but it felt like a very long time until Ash found his voice again.

"I'm sorry, too" was the only thing he said. It made Hailey confused, especially because he sprung around right after so she couldn't search his eyes for any elaboration.

She was struggling so much with all the turned and twisted thoughts, for only a millisecond she forgot she was sitting on her childhood nightmare. But then she did remember. She wanted to throw her arms around Ash again and hold him so tight he wouldn't be able to breath, but she held herself back and grabbed the saddle so firmly her nails left marks on the hard fabric. Her eyes were tightly closed again.