Rendezvous

twenty-five | ride

Part I/I - Ride

January 2

I had to fly back to San Francisco on New Year's Day, hungover and exhausted, but the sensation of comfort outweighed all the odd variables. I still wish I could stay in Los Angeles, but I do not however despise San Francisco; in fact, I've taken a liking to it.

I headed home after a long day at work and made preparations for the next day. You'd think that with all of this workload, I'd be bored out of my mind, but I was thoroughly enjoying every facet of this job, because I like keeping myself occupied.

especially now

Growing up, my father would always be in the corner laughing any time my mother and I would quarrel, knowing I'd always win.

I believe it's safe to say that I jumped right into my line of work.

10:17 p.m. | My Condo, San Francisco

"So does that mean you're back together?" Jay inquires over the phone as I juggle my phone between my shoulder and my head as I painted my nails.

"No," I murmur over the phone, swallowing the lump in my throat. "She sort of forgives me, but I don't think she trusts me."

"Well yeah," Jay says. "Did you even talk about things?"

"Not really," I say. "She said she was over it."

"Damn," Jay sighs.

"I'm just grateful she didn't cut me off completely," With a nervous chuckle, I say.

"Lana would never do that," Jay says. "She's stubborn, yes, but she couldn't cut you off, even if she wanted to."

"Oh, she definitely would," I let out a scoff. "You don't know her like I do."

"I meant she'd never do that to you," She explains. "Because she knows you love her."

"And she probably loves you back," She continues. "Not probably, definitely."

"Yeaaah," I say hesitantly. "Let's not be so sure."

"You didn't tell her you were moving as if you were just going for a walk in the park," Jay say. "Were you expecting her to say it back?"

Deep down, I hoped that if she knew that I loved her, it'll be enough for her to oversee where I messed up.

still selfish?

"It's strange how you mentioned she wouldn't cut me off since she knows I love her," I say. "Because that's exactly what she said."

"She brought it up?" Jay exclaims vehemently. "Tell me!"

Jay already knew about us, so there was no reason why I shouldn't let her in on where we stood. And to be honest, I'm glad she knows because she always gives the best advice, some of which I would do the exact opposite of, but it's still good advice.

January 9

1:08 p.m. | Law Firm, San Francisco

Two of my colleagues and I were having lunch together in the office break room. Stella and James were both extremely hard workers, and we hit it off right away after working on a couple of cases together. We were colleagues by chance, but friends by choice.

"I call Santiago," As she chews on her sandwich, Stella replies, "Clean record."

"Wise move," James observes. "But it could reflect poorly, based on the fact that his entire family have criminal records."

I continue to look through client documentations. "Mr. Day has a spotless record and is covered by health insurance."

James adds, "And he's white." As we high five, he says, "We win."

"Two to one," Stella grumbles as she jotted on a notepad.

We would always bet on who would win cases during our breaks. When the verdicts are announced, the loser would have to buy drinks. This is most likely illegal in some jurisdiction, but oh well.

James says, "Round four," as he scribbles down two names.

My ringtone reverberated throughout the room as James flipped the card, so I lifted it up from the table to see who has called.

Stella adds, "Allie your turn," as my gaze is drawn to the caller ID.

"I have to take this, it's important," I frantically reply as I rise from the seat, "Excuse me."

I finally pick up after wandering out of the office break room and into the corridor.

"Hey, is everything okay?" I inquire worriedly as soon as I raise my phone up to my ear.

"Hi," she says softly. "Yeah, why wouldn't it be?" she asks through the phone.

"Uh, I don—" I ask as I enter my office and sit by my desk.

"You didn't think I'd call," She interrupted. "I called because I know you won't"

I hate when she's right

I smile, "I'm really glad you called."

"I just wanted to um, check in and say hey," Lana says. "Are you busy?"

"No, I'm all yours," I answer quickly, shutting my eyes tightly in the hopes that she probably wouldn't notice. "I-I mean—"

Lana lets out a little nervous chuckle before I could finish my sentence, "How's work?"

"Pretty good. It's going really well," I respond after I let out a sigh of relief. "How's your music going, haven't heard anything in a while."

"I recorded three new songs this week," Lana says softly. "I'm kinda excited about that."

To say I was stunned when she called is an understatement. My face was strewn with a smile the entire time we spoke. For the first time, I didn't blame myself for not reaching out first; I was merely too fascinated in listening to her talk about the mundane details of her day, which was all I ever wanted.

After around thirty minutes of catching up on everything that has been going on in our lives, Lana had to hang up because she had a meeting.

Lana seemed hesitant to speak at the start of the phone call for some reason, but after a few minutes, she seemed to unwind and our conversation started flowing effortlessly.

I couldn't find myself wondering if she was afraid to let me in. Although I believe I know pretty much everything about her. But she was still really good at masking what bothered her, and I had lost the privilege of asking her to let me in, when I was the reason she felt the need to build her walls up again.

I was willing to give my all this time just to show her how much I care. Even if I have to set myself on fire to light the way whenever she was in the dark. Even if it melts my flesh and cracks my bones, I'd put up with anything to keep her warm.

We'll ride together, no matter how bad it gets.
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