"i'm crazy but you like that" - skins

(2) Episode 2.1

"Josephine Richardson," the dark-haired, no more than five foot doctor called me in and I walked into the small medical room after her.
"Take a seat," she beamed as she sat down at her computer, and I slumped down in the chair opposite her.

"So, we've looked at your blood tests and can confirm that you definitely are pregnant." She exclaimed, much too happy for my liking.
"I took nine pregnancy tests. I could've known that myself," I commented in a sarky tone.
She dismissed the rudeness and continued, "and from that we've been able to see that you're very early on. Approximately four and a half to five weeks. It's very early on to be dealing with the nausea that you've been experiencing, but it does happen."

As she spoke, I let my head fall into my hands as a groan came out, feeling my heart thud in my chest with the anxiety.
"Do you know which route you'd like to take in terms of the pregnancy?" She politely asked.
My head rose rapidly, and I glared at her. "Do I look like a person who knows what they want to do? Huh? I have no fucking idea!" I raised my voice, before slouching back into my chair.

"Well, Josephine -"
"It's Jofie," I snapped.
"Well, Jofie..." She continued, getting visibly impatient with the snappy, pregnant teenager that she was having to endure at nine o'clock in the morning. "We are here whenever you make that decision to help guide you and make things easier. And you do have quite some time to make that choice. You're lucky that you're not too far along to have time to consider your options."
"'Lucky', huh?" I scowled. I quickly grabbed my bag and got to my feet. "Thanks," I offered in a monotonous tone, before opening the door harshly to leave.

***

I walked in the autumn sun to college. It was the last place I wanted to be, but I couldn't sit at home with my own thoughts in my stressed-out state, especially as I wasn't smoking or drinking to take the edge off.
This was my last resort as a distraction.

As I got nearer, someone ran up and began walking alongside me.

"Hey," Cook greeted, staring at the floor as he walked.
"Hey." I bluntly replied, also not making eye contact.
We both continued to walk fast.
"I'm sorry." He immediately said.
I shrugged. "Whatever."
"Jofie." He pleaded, grabbing one of my hands and pulling me to a stop with him, before grabbing the other one as well and holding both affectionately. "Come on."
"What?" I snapped, standing with him but still not willing to cooperate in the conversation.

"I'm sorry." He repeated.
"You lied to me."
"I didn't!" He insisted. "I told you I didn't know the girl. I didn't!"
"You also told me that you guessed that she was fucked, not that you knew she was because you knew you'd sold Naomi the drugs who'd sold them to her. And you went all secretive with my friend, meeting up with her all suspiciously, telling me that you're talking about fucking Thomas and Pandora, knowing that you fucking weren't!" I raised my voice.

"I kept stuff from you. And I'm sorry for that. That's what I'm sorry for. But it wasn't my secrets that I was keeping from you! I would've told you that I'd dealt the drugs to Naomi who'd sold them to her, but she was freaked the fuck out, man. She didn't want me to tell anyone, and she wouldn't get off my back about it. I guess things are just going so well with her and Emily, she just -"
"You don't have to tell me that things are good with her and Emily. She's supposed to be my friend. She shouldn't be sharing her shit with you!" I argued, before sighing. "You should've just told me, Cook."

Cook took another step closer to me, closing the gap even further with our faces inches apart.
"I'm so sorry, Jofie. I was a dick, alright? I'm a dick. But I've done well at not being a dick for our entire relationship so far, so I'm allowed one slip up, right?"
I forced an eye roll, but I was struggling to keep my expression from melting into affection in front of him as he cracked a sweet smile to me.
"I should've told you." He reiterated, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me closer. "I'm sorry. You're my best friend. I shouldn't keep anything from you. Last weekend was just a fucked up weekend, and I just - I handled it best I could."
"Okay," I nodded, placing my hands on his chest affectionately.