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I am sad to say that One Direction is now a four piece. I will not forget Zayn and all of the wonderful things he has brought to the fandom and what he has taught me. He was a hero. He was a reason to feel whole and without Zayn in the band I don't feel whole guys...I feel empty and broken. I haven't felt like this since I started liking them in 2012. I can't believe it, I am truly in denial. I am lost now. I can only pray that the other four boys to stay together. I feel like now our days are numbered and that this band has an expiration date soon. I am scared, and I can't believe that I relied so much on a boy band. I didn't think this was going to happen so soon. I didn't think that Zayn leaving would impact me so much but it does and has. I love them all tremendously. I just hope and pray that Zayn can come to peace with himself and find what makes him truly happy. I know he feels bad about leaving us and his four best mates. I just want what is best for him.

I really do hope that Louis,Liam, Niall and Harry stick together and don't just leave us. I hope they stick around for a long time. I am devastated. However, we all can get through this. It will take some time to heal this pain for all of us including the boys. We need to show them all of our support including Zayn. We all need each other now more than ever. I love you all, and if you need someone to talk to or to vent to then please leave some comments. 

Sorry that this isn't an update. I am just really upset and I know you all are to. It's going to be hard to write about Zayn being in my story now. It's been hard to just listen to their music today.

Love always,Shelbie 

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