the hate we share namkook

9. confusion, confessions, out of mind

joon groaned still of his soreness, but bit his tongue to complain or let kook know. he had his pride. after some soul searching he knew he had to apologise to jimin. finally. so he walked to the dance dep and waited for the short flummyball to appear.

"hey jiminie" jimin almost jumped. joon was the last person he expected to be there. "u waiting for me?" "duh" "what u want?" "dont be so hostile! i come in peace" "maybe i am not?" "jimin, please!" joon pleaded. jimin huffed and pointed to a bench under a tree. after they sat down, they stayed silent for some moments.

"listen.... i AM an asshole and i wanna apologise honestly to u. i didnt treat u well, when u were my boyfriend. i should have done so much better and i am truly sorry for that!" jimins eyes went to slits and he studied joons face. was he for real or was this a cruel prank?

"u for real?" "i am! i truly am" "how come? did aliens change u over night, or something?" "no? i am still me, but.... i had time to think and this is what came out of it" "so u gonna tell me, that u admit to be an asshole, that u fucked up tremendously and u wanna have my what? forgiveness?" joon nodded. "kinda like that? if u are not up for it, i understand. but i would appreciate it, if u could find a place in your heart and forgive me for what i have done.... or not done, depends on ... u know?!" jimin shook his head and sighed. "u are really a huge idiot" "i know and i try to better myself" "good!" "and?" "what?" "can u forgive me?" "why all of the sudden? what got u to think?" joon rubbed his neck and looked like a sheep.

"since i fucked with jeon, i had some epiphany about myself and...."

"wait.....what????" "huh?" "u did what?" "uhm...fucked with jeon?" they stared at each other for a second. jimin stood slowly up, stood right infront of joon, layed his hands onto his hips and exploded.

"u fucked kook?! U FUCKED KOOK?! AM I HEARING RIGHT? AFTER ALL CRUEL WORDS U SAY TO ME, AFTER ALL THIS HEARTACHE AND BULLSHIT, U TELLING ME THAT U FUCKING FUCKED FUCKING JUNGKOOK?!"

"sssshhhhhhhtttttt!!!!"

joon held his finger onto jimins lips, who ripped his hand away from his mouth. "dont u dare! when did it start? and the fuck how? how many times, joon?!" joon looked guilty as fuck. "some time after we broke it off? i confronted him about u two and somehow we.... i dont know. i am confused, jimin. i hate him so much and still i cant get enough of him.... it confuses me so much...." "oh my gooooodddd!" "what?" "u fucking like him!" "no, i hate him" "no u dont! u are so fucking into him! i cant believe it!"

joon looked lost at his former boyfriend. "what should i do now?" "are u really asking me for relationship advice? me?" "u know me better than anyone else" "fuck u, joon!" "please jimin! i need help!" "u are beyond helping! u are an asshole!" "we already established that" "dont sass me after all u ve done! and now.... i cant believe it!" "where are u all the time, by the way?" "huh?" "u are never at your room, i asked around. where are u staying now? and u look healthy.... oh! u gotta somebody new! congrats! somebody i know?"
"joon?"
"yeah?"
"fuck off!"

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after joons confession, jimin went straight to hopes office. without knocking stormed in and huffed, went in circles and flipped his hands around.

"if thats your new choreography i am not impressed" hope dryly gave out. "how.... i cant believe it.... i could smash his fucking face into a wall...." "okay, who are we going to murder and where we are going to dig his grave?" "namjoon, fucking namjoon!" "what did he fucked up this time?" jhope sighed. "he apologised for being an asshole to me" "okay? thats good, isnt it?"

"buuuut, here comes the kicker: he fucked with kook! the one he hated the most, his self-proclaimed archenemy, his nemesis, the one he broke us off! they fucked and now he is head over heels for this guy! what the FUCK?!" "wow..... so he and jungkook had a one night stand? after all that bs?" jimin shook his head. "not a one night stand! they still fucking! can u believe the audacity? and he asked me for advice too! can u imagine that?!"

"wow, i am impressed!" "impressed?!" "yeah, i never thought these two, from all people, would fuck.... just...wow....by the way, as we are speaking of people who..hmmm...fuck, we need a talk" jimin was taken aback. "why?" "about your little stunt the other morning" "do u regret it?" "did i sound like it?" jimin smiled. "no, absolutley not"

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kook wasnt focused at all. his mind was working like never. he was confused beyond help. after he had his way finally with joon, his body longed for that guy big times, more than before. the urge to touch him was greater, than .... anything..... but why? they hated each other right? ...okay, not that hard anymore after some fucking around, but...still.... it couldnt be real, that he had established feelings for joon. he would make himself very vulnerable. it would be a disaster if joon would ever find out. joon wouldnt have the same feelings for him, he wouldnt gave him the same amount back, he would hate him again as strong as before. he would leave him, never talked to him again.... kook wasnt ready for that. he didnt wanted to go back to their old ways. he .... he would be destroyed, if joon would turn his back on him....

"shit....fucking shit! u put yourself in a fucking stupid position here, jeon!" kook mumbled.

"whats wrong with u?"

kook jumped and turned around. "oh...yoongi...what are u doing here?" "training is starting soon...duh?!" "oh yeah" "where is your head?" "not in the right place, i am afraid.... oh hey tae!" kook waved at his friend, who only looked, gave a seconds smile and walked away.

"okay? who killed his puppy?" "....i think its my fault" "huh? what have u done?" "u remember the party?" kooks mind was flooded by joons hot, sexy face and he grinned. "yeah" yoongi shook his head. "i should ask what u have done" "maybe i will tell u" "keep your filthy stories to yourself! ....we were suppose to have a threesome, but..." "who?" "a girl, tae and me" kook whistled. "stop it!" "but?" "but...somehow, the girl left and .... u know" kook stood still for a second.

"oh...OH! NO! SERIOUSLY?! tae got his wish after all....loool! who was bottom?" yoongi first looked pissed at him, than avoided kooks face at all. kook again looked shocked, than amused at his friend. "dont tell me.... yoongi u doooog!" "shhhshshshhsh! dont kill my reputation here! i dont know why it happened, or how, but it did" "and now?" "he confessed" "was about time" "u knew?!" "oh please! taes face and hearty eyes were a huge advertisement in neon lights! and just admit it! u knew it too!" "i...i kinda thought he liked me....more than a friend...but... love?" "whats so bad about it? u know each other for years, u grew up with tae, he was always by your side and u did things already" "who told u that?...oh tae... couldnt shut up, could he?!" "dont be mad, he needed someone to talk to... why are u mad, yoongi? dont u have the same feelings for him?" kook felt so sad suddenly. he and tae were in the same boat.

"i ....i dont know, okay? it was so sudden..." "it wasnt. yoongi! u let him blow u so many times, u were his first kiss for hades sake and u never thought this could go further? please! dont be stupid!" "i am not.... there was always the line! and he crossed it that night!" "and thats bad, cause? u dont want him after all, is it that? u have no feelings whats so ever for tae? it didnt felt good? u didnt felt anything, while u two fucked or did other things?"

yoongi slowed his walking until he came to a stop, his head was tilted and he looked lost. "i never thought beyond..... i... i dont know what i feel or if i feel anything for him, to be honest" "yoongi, u need to think about your feelings. u are leaving tae up in the air without a safety net and if u hurt him, he will fall very hard. and than i will break your dick, u understand?" "so if i dont feel the same as he feels for me, u gonna hurt me? thats blackmailing, kook!" "no u idiot! if u hurt him in your careless way, i will hurt u more" "oh...." "and please tell him something or asure your friendship with him, this akwardness between u two is unnerving" yoongi rolled his eyes.

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joon watched kook. again he wasnt focused. after jimins outburst, he was certain, that something was wrong with him. it couldnt be, that he was suddenly growing feelings for .... kook! couldnt be! .....or did he? talking with jimin helped him to understand, that there was something and he needed to find out, what it was. and fast! his heart was doing somersaults, when he saw kook, or heard his voice somewhere. his stomach flipped, when he got a whiff of his aftershave, or shower gel, he knew so well. the urge to feel him, kiss him, or just listened to his heartbeat became greater every day. he had to do something about it, just he had no idea what.

the ball came in a perfect curve and hit him bullseye. joon stood there, lost in his thoughts and didnt get his surroundings.