The Flying Dreams

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Shifa's friends made quite a commotion and I stayed locked inside my room, sorting through my clothes to wear the next day, or well, at least, trying to but the noise coming from the living room made it impossible to do anything, really, except forcing me to listen to all the earsplitting laughing and talking. Among the plenty of people, Shifa's voice came to my ears in its own individuality. I had seen her laugh and it was almost contagious, but I hadn't seen her talk that much. She hardly spoke to me and whenever her phone rang in my presence, she would just pick up the call and move somewhere else. But outside, where she was with her own friends, her voice only got louder. Perhaps, she still felt uncomfortable with me, and I couldn't blame her either, I too had my moments of awkwardness with her but when it came to talking, I usually initiated it and even after that, she always seemed irritated to be talking to me, which was pretty insulting. Back home, I remained the center of attention whenever there was a function in the family, with all the cousins clustered around me as I spoke and gave each of them moment to begin their part of the latest gossip and that made me feel as if I were their unofficial leader. The queen of a hive but Shifa made me feel as I were nothing more than an annoying housefly. I had an idea as to why she was so reserved with me and sometimes her behaviour toward her own family made me believe my idea couldn't be more absolute. But hearing her voice, coming to my ears in muffled noise did something and I wanted to hear her talk without reservations for once, the piece of clothing I held dropped on the bed and I walked toward the door. I couldn't explain why my heartbeat increased as I grew closer but without listening to the faint warning of my mind, I pressed my ear on the cold wood. She seemed to be talking about some movie, her voice loud and carefree, so unlike I had ever heard her. And stood there for at least minutes and when the stupidity of my own doing dawned on me, I moved away and the next thing I saw was my face in the portrait mirror, stuck on the wall with steel nails. A smile on my face scared me.

I didn't get much time to decipher the strangeness of my actions, as my phone rang on the bedpost. Wahab. I let the phone rang, watching the screen light up then went back to black. Allowing my heartbeat to steady itself. What had happened? Wahab called continually, partially annoying me and when the phone lighted up the fourth time, I picked it up. Wahab's voice greeted me, and I detected a tone of irritation in it.

"Found time for you dear fiancé?"

"I was in the bathroom."

The entire time I talked to Wahab; my mind remained somewhere else. Lying had never come to me easily but it did then, and it frightened me. I could hear the weak noise of music playing outside my room and wondered for a moment if that girl, Riya, was there too. Of course, she was. She was someone to Shifa and was probably the first one to be invited.

"Adia? Did you hear what I said?"

I said, yes. I had no idea what he said and just to appease my own guilt for not giving Wahab my undivided attention, I picked up the hair tie lying on the top of the bed, pressed the phone between my ear and shoulder and stepped outside, into the small balcony. Wahab believed my lie and kept going on about something related to an upcoming wedding in the family that went over my head, but I needed to be a better fiancée, so I contributed my part. Uttering out hmms and ohs here and there. He didn't really need my attention on him, he just wanted to talk and have someone who wouldn't interrupt him, and it took me little time to understand this. Instead of dwelling on it, I closed my eyes and thought how lucky I was to have him, but the face that came to my vision was his cousin. Shifa. With her hoop earrings and usually loose clothing. I even imagined her saying my name and smiled at my foolishness. Then I felt a hand on my shoulder and nearly jumped over the iron railing.

Shifa stood with her hands raised in the air, in a surrendering gesture. A smile on her face took away my words of reprimand. On the phone, Wahab sounded concerned as he must have heard my scream of fright and I quickly bid him Khuda hafiz. Shifa raised a brow, and it was then I noticed a can in her hands.

"You drink?"

Shifa's eyes darted between the beer can in her hands and me. She merely shrugged her shoulders and walked past me to stand, leaning over the rusty iron railing. I thought of going back to my room but as I watched her back, shoulders rise and fall and her fingers playing with the can, I went back to take my place by the railing. The air was dry and cold, but it was a little price I was willing to pay to get her to talk to me. She didn't. Didn't even say a word, just kept taking small sips from the can. I stole a look and saw the room was now empty – all her friends had probably left while I listened to Wahab. I stood there for a few more minutes, hoping she would open her mouth and use the words, but she didn't, and the cold never suited me. I turned around to retreat to the warmth of indoors when she finally said my name.

"Adia?"

I couldn't let this opportunity go, without missing a beat, I said, "Yes?"

She turned around, draped her left arm onto the railing, behind her and raised her chin, if I wasn't mistaken, a smirk adorned her face as she took all the time in the world to stare at me. I felt my heart trying to burst out of my chest and I couldn't hold her stare any longer and the moment I averted my gaze, she scoffed and readied herself to go back inside.

"You can't even look at me."

I watched her slide the door open and the words I said to her weren't prepared, "Why would you want me to look at you?"

Shifa stopped but didn't turn and with newfound courage, I inhaled, "You can't even talk to me."

This time, I saw her face moving to the side and she laughed, nodding her head. She seemed drunk. Too drunk to understand what she said next, and I didn't mind either.

"Let's watch a movie."

I had a hundred reasons to deny her offer. I had to wake up early the next day for my class, had to prepare my notes, my clothes, had to call my mother to ask about the wedding Wahab talked about so the next time he called, I will have an idea what to say. Despite all of the excuses I could make, I nodded. Shifa slid the doors open and instead of walking in, stood on the side, bowed in a playful gesture as she motioned me to go in, "My lady."

She was so drunk. But I liked the drunk Shifa better than the sober Shifa, who wouldn't say a word to me unless she absolutely had to. She closely followed me and without asking me, put something over my shoulders. Her jacket. I laughed but still pulled the sleeves around me.

"You should have done that outside when I was actually cold."

The living room was a mess and I had to move empty cans of beer and sprite and dusted the sofa before sitting down. Shifa went over to the T.V. and came back to join me.

"I didn't know how you'd react."

The movie started and I asked, "What are we watching?"

"Maurice. You'd like it. I can watch that movie a hundred times and never get bored."

So, we were going to watch one of her favourite movies and I planned to let her that I was fun, and she could talk to me too. I quickly pushed the pause button on the remote and stood up, announcing that we'll not watch a movie without any snacks.

"Alright."