if i can't have you || rini au

51. torn pages

ricky helped nini up from the ground, the girl closing her eyes as she took a shaky breath

'you have his attention...it's now or never...'

"ricky...i-i need to talk to you." she whispered shakily

at that, ricky furrowed his brows in worry, holding her hand comfortingly "what's wrong?"

nini swallowed, taking deep breaths to calm herself before opening her mouth "i got a c-"

the abrupt sound the café entrance door opening, laughter and chatter that had followed from the group of teens that had entered interrupted nini, sighing when she saw ricky's attention turn to their friends

"okay, so we were all thinking of either going to the movies or just dinner at this new place that opened up down the road from ej's. what are we thinking?" gina asked, taking a seat at the counter with her boyfriend next to her while the others just stood around each other

ricky opened his mouth, looking back at nini who had just shaken her head, gesturing that it didn't matter and that she would tell him later. it didn't change the pit that had formed in his stomach from the wonder of what she was going to say, but he didn't want to make her feel pressured either.

"-so what do we say?" ashlyn asked after the group had continued to debate on what they wanted to do for their saturday evening together

nini just stayed silent, letting the others agree on the movies before she decided to speak up once ricky had come back from putting his apron away and ready for them to leave

"...actually, i'm going to stay home tonight." she said in a weak voice "i'm not feeling very well."

"you sure?" ricky asked, the group all exchanging confused looks as nini nodded

"mhm!" she exclaimed "i-i'll just-go get some sleep. goodnight everyone."

"night!" seb and big red smiled as everyone else bid her goodbye, the brunette girl rushing away from them and up the spiral staircase

"okay...that was weird." carlos pointed out bluntly

"right?" ricky nodded "it's driving me crazy."

"maybe you should stay with her tonight?" ej suggested "she's obviously worried about something. you being there for her will help her feel better."

ashlyn raised her eyebrows "you grew a brain today!"

ej shot his cousin a look, shutting her up as she stifled a laugh before ricky just nodded, his mind clouded with nini.

"okay...yeah, i'll do that." ricky said determined, turning around before he swiftly turned back to face his friends "if that's okay?"

"oh good god, go!" kourtney sighed, waving him off as the boy just put his thumbs up and rushed up the spiral staircase.

just when he was about to knock on the yellow wooden door, he stumbled forward a little at the lack of balance when it had swung open suddenly, revealing a surprised erica

"oh, well hi,"

"hey erica, is nini there?" ricky asked urgently

erica knit her eyebrows together at his impatience, suspicions rising within her but she chose to ignore it, folding her arms "she's in her room."

"great! thanks." he breathed, rushing past her erica turning back to look at him before she shrugged her shoulders and left the apartment to do what she was going to do.

meanwhile, nini laid on her bed, the end of her black pen between her teeth as she stared at the notebook page on her lap. she had many colored pens and highlights scattered around her along with crumpled up pieces of paper.

what she was doing; a pro's and con's list of each different way she could tell ricky about how she was going to leave...but every idea she had just wasn't good enough.

nini sighed frustratedly, ripping the page out of her notebook and crumpling it up in her hands "no, no, no, no, NO!" she exclaimed, throwing it with all her power as she felt her eyes sting.

she exhaled heavily, burying her face in her hands as she quietly let a few tears fall before hearing a knock at her door

"n-no aunt erica i'm not hungry!" she called out, her voice muffled as she sniffed and wiped her cheeks, but more tears fell.

but her door opened quietly, showing ricky to enter with a small smile which quickly dropped at the sight of her state

nini's eyes widened in panic as she quickly wiped her face, sniffling and trying to grab all the balls of paper that were around her, anxiously putting them behind her and forcing a small smile

"s-shouldn't you be at the cinema with the others?"

"why are you crying?" he asked in a soft whisper, ignoring her question as he made his way a little closer and closed the door behind him

nini shook her head quickly, standing up to throw the pieces of papers away and widening her smile forcefully "n-nothing...i-i'm okay. perfect even!"

"you're obviously not okay."

"ricky...please-" she mumbled shakily, taking her pens and highlighters to put away

"nini, you can't expect me to leave this alone when i walk in here and see you crying-"

"oh my god, i said i was okay! alright?!" she suddenly yelled, her pens dropping from her trembling hands to the floor.

ricky getting taken aback by the way she was acting...he'd never heard her raise her voice. she was always so happy and free.

as soon as the words left her mouth, nini quickly opened her mouth apologetically, bringing her hand up to it in surprise.

ricky just stayed there in silence...not knowing how to talk to her without making her feel worse - though he had no idea how he was doing so.

instead he bent down to the ground, swallowing hard and picking up the pens that were scattered around him, nini shuddering a breath as she sat on the floor on her knees, reaching for the pens that had fell around her to help.

ricky looked to the right, reaching for a red highlighter that had been laying next to a crumpled piece of paper.

he felt curious when he saw his name written on a little piece of it, unfolding the paper and nini whipped her head up at the sound of him doing it, her breath getting caught in her throat as she watched him read what it had said.

"...you're leaving early?"