if i can't have you || rini au

02. desperate to be free

nina took a deep, nervous breath as she used up all her courage to enter the drawing room where her mother was seated, looking through different files and papers while different servants were doing their jobs around the room.

"m-mother..." she spoke up quietly, daniella looking up at the sound of her daughter's voice

"nina, darling. perfect timing, we need to discuss your coronation plans," she said, shuffling through different papers

the brunette girl sighed "but-that's not until i turn eighteen. which is ten months away-"

"it's never a bad thing to be prepared and ready." daniella reminded her "especially when you're about to become queen."

nina looked down at her feet. becoming queen wasn't exactly something she wanted for herself. she wished desperately to be her own person, a normal girl with a normal life; high school, friends. she even maybe wanted to experience a love...but she knew that wouldn't exactly get to happen. she was waiting expectantly for her mother to spring up an arranged marriage in front of her as soon as the crown she was wearing would be on nina's head.

but she needed the little time she had left to be free, to live her life. of course she's thought about it before; her plan she had in mind had come up in her brain millions of times in the seventeen years of her life - but she never had the courage to say it out loud.  and now, the closer her birthday and coronation came, the more she found her bravery to make sure it happened.

nina took a deep breath, fiddling with the pink ribbon bow that was tied around her white sundress as she took a nervous step forward

"mother," she began with the most confident voice she could muster "before i turn eighteen and have to completely commit to being queen and the duties it comes with it, i want to do something."

daniella knitted her eyebrows together, putting the papers down as she gave her full attention to the girl

"and what's that?"

nina swallowed and sat down on the chair in front of where her mother was sitting

"i want to visit aunt erica." she blurted out

daniella hummed, thinking for a few seconds as nina watched her before the woman spoke

"alright."

nina widened her eyes and raised her eyebrows "wait really?"

daniella nodded "you deserve to see your aunt. i'll arrange for benjamin to pack your bags for a day's visit next week and we can go together. i'll have to get a disguise of course."

nina's heart sank and her shocked expression dropped "oh...no-that's-that isn't what i meant to say-"

"well, nina we can't exactly bring her here,"

"no-i know," nina sighed "i meant-i meant that i wanted to visit aunt erica...and live with her. until the week before i turn eighteen...alone...?"

as nina's sentence went on and she saw her mother's expression change from shock, to panic, to ultra heart-attack mode, her voice became quieter...

"no." daniella said firmly, clearing her throat "absolutely not."

"but mother-"

"what ever happened for you to have that idea in your mind? it's absurd-"

"mother it's not like i'm asking to leave home forever! i want the opportunity to go to a real school! to interact with people my age and maybe make friends! to live a normal life!" she exclaimed pleadingly "i've never asked for anything-"

"and this is too much to ask!" daniella replied "we've done a great deal to keep you safe-"

"this isn't being safe this is being trapped!" nina said, suddenly standing up

"nina, watch your tone!" daniella exclaimed

"i'm seventeen mother." nina continued, ignoring the queen's warning "i'm more than capable of taking care of myself-i won't even be alone! i'll be with aunt erica-"

"and who will accompany you to school? who will keep an eye out for you? who will make sure you stay out of trouble and stop you from wandering off gazing at the sky?!"

"i'm not a little girl anymore!"

"no! exactly! you're going to be the queen of autonia!"

"which is why i need this!" nina yelled "i need a chance to be normal before i have to commit to this life forever-"

"the answer is no. and that is final." queen daniella said firmly

nina had her eyes glossy and she exhaled, breathing in and pushing her tears back as she stood looking at her mother for the next few seconds before turning away and leaving the room.