The Mafia's Bad Girl

Chapter 20

Deshaes POV

What was I thinking?! Why would anybody in their right mind just go up and randomly hug someone like that? Mad at myself, I quickly speed-walked back into my room ready to go back home already. But I don't think A wanted to leave so soon. He'd found someone he truly cared for and didn't want to leave her just yet.

Blowing out a breath of air, I quickly worked around the room, collecting al the things I won't need until we depart. My head was a mess and I'm sure my movements were jerky and almost robotic. The stress was getting to me and I couldn't do anything to stop it. Suddenly, my ears were ringing and my vision was coming in and out. I slid down against the wall as I felt the beginning of a panic attack start. Rocking back and forth, I tried to will it away but it was no use. It was as if I was drowning with no sign of the surface to break through. My breaths were short pants and I couldn't suck enough air in. Just as I thought I was going to pass out, somebody crouched down in front of me and slowly coaxed me out if it.

After a while, I could finally breathe again and looked up to see who my saviour was. Diamond was sitting across from me while I still struggled to breathe normally again. 

"Are you okay now?" She questioned with not an ounce of judgment in her tone. I mean, come on, the big bad Mafia leader has panic attacks? I eyed her, still skeptic that she would start laughing at any minute.

"You're not...laughing at me?" She looked at me in concern and disbelief.

"No why would I be laughing, I mean you could've- something bad could've happened and you think I'd be laughing? Do you really think that low of me?" She looked upset that I would think of her like that so I automatically felt ashamed of myself.

"No it's just...all the others do..." I trailed off at the end not wanting to discuss the matter anymore. Angry was portrayed on her face after I'd said those words and she looked disgusted at someone but it wasn't directed at me. She stood up and was about to leave the room until I stopped her. "Wait!" She stood still but didn't turn. "Umm- could you please stay with me until I fall asleep? It's just I don't want to suddenly panic again and have no one be here and-," She cut off my rambling by walking over and seating herself beside my bed as I climbed in.

"Go to sleep Shae. I've got you." And with her hand scratching my scalp softly, I fell asleep to the assurance that someone was there.

Diamonds POV

He fell asleep and I noticed that all the stress seemed to melt away from his face and gave him a much younger look. More...peaceful.

Deciding to stay until he woke up, I unlocked my phone and scrolled through my feed. 'I'm only here because I don't want him to die' I said to myself not even realising that my hand was still on his head, rubbing it softly.

A few hours later, Shae stirred in the bed and cracked his eyes open. He wasn't fully awake yet so I stayed where I was until he saw that I was still here. Finally he did. "Diamond? You're still here- what but- I thought-," He sputtered out and continued to look at me with so much shock. I was so confused as to why he was in so much shock and disbelief.

Has someone left him before? Not treated him right?

Remembering I still had to answer him I nodded and cracked my back and fingers. Ooh that felt good. "Why would I not be here? You asked me to stay didn't you?" He was still dumbfounded but blindly nodded.

Slowly crawling out of bed, he stood up next to me. I didn't know what he was going to do until he embraced me once again. This time though, I was fully prepared to hug him back.

"You stayed, you stayed, you stayed..." He kept mumbling under his breath which made me even more confused. Who hurt you Deshae?

He finally let me go and collapsed back onto his bed. I gave him a small smile and opened the door, ready to leave. Thoughts about what could haven possibly happened to him ran through my head. But I couldn't decide on one thing so I left it and thought if he would ever tell me, he would if he was ready and wanted to. I didn't want to pressure him.

Turning back one last time, I heard him whisper, "Thank you Gem, really." Now smiling, I thought back to what he had called me. No ones ever called me that before and I didn't even mind that he was the first to do it. I walked out and quietly closed the door behind me. My conflicted feelings for him were at war in my mind. I knew I felt some type of way about him but I didn't want to dwell on it for too long.

That night I fell asleep to Shae and his vulnerable side being shown to me ,and only me, on my mind.