Khumo: the arranged wedding

ELEVEN

              KHUMO MORAPEDI

After Keneilwe came in rushing into our room looking all freaked out. I ran to our parents bedroom and our dad didn't look good. He was worse and deep down I knew why he wanted to see me. I knew it but I didn't want to believe it.
“Papa?”
“It's time my baby.. you know what I'm talking about right?”
I wiped my tears walking to the bed. “Papa, you have to fight.. please don't leave me.”
“We can't escape death Nana. I want you to promise me something..”
“What?”
He removed a letter from underneath his pillow and gave it to me. “Give this letter to your aunt and tell her how sorry I am.”
I just nodded with tears blurring my vision
“Don't forget who you are Nana. No matter what happens don't forget who you are.. I will look over you on the other side. Forgive your little sister as well.”
“No Papa! Ask me anything but not this. I'm done with her and mama, I want to live my own life. Your wife has never loved me. You know I love you, but don't force me to forgive them.”
“Stop crying my baby..” we heard my mom's voice by the door. “Nana please hide that letter and make sure you give it to your aunt. Your Mom must never know about this okay?”
I quickly hid it in my bra. I felt my heart racing and I knew that his soul was slowly leaving this world. “Papa, please don't do this! Don't leave me.”
The door opened, Mom and Keneilwe rushed in.
“Papa please don't leave us!” Keneilwe

His warm hand turned cold and he closed his eyes.

            KENEILWE MORAPEDI

My world came to a stand still in our parents room. I couldn't stop crying. I looked at Khumo and she looked like a zombie. She just sat there holding our father's hand without even blinking. Our mom was crying the loudest.
We saw the ambulance and people from the morgue coming in. They checked his pulse and indeed he was gone. I didn't want to believe it.
I tried holding on to him but they pulled me off him.

“Papa, please don't go. Just wake up, I know you're not dead. Papa tsoga tlhe!” (daddy please wake up!)
“Keneilwe, stop it. You know he is gone just stop it.”
“Khumo, I'm not strong like you! Why are you not crying? Tell me why it's easy for you to accept his death?”
I kept on shoving her and she just let me. I was more angry that they shared a perfect father and daughter bond and I didn't. I couldn't because I was selfish.
I tried calming down but when they took him from the bedroom all covered. I broke down more.
I wanted to go with him.

“Put me in there with him. I want my daddy! Papa please.. don't go.. please daddy.”
“Come here.. come.” Khumo held me in her arms and I cried so much. I can't remember the last time, I cried and my sister held me like this. I cried for all the hurtful words I said to our father while he was still alive. How bad I have treated Khumo and the baby I was carrying but I can't have.
“Shhh.. it's going to be okay Punkie, stop crying it's not good for the baby.” she whispered in my ear.
She held me as we went to our room. “Khumo why did he leave us? Why couldn't he stay with us?”
“It was his time Punkie, there's nothing he could do. I'm going to check on Mama.”
“Please don't go.. please hold me until I fall asleep?”

              KHUMO MORAPEDI

Seeing Keneilwe, cry like she did really broke my heart. She might not be my favourite person right now but she's still my baby sister. She struggled to fall asleep but eventually she did.
This is what I hate about the villages. People have already heard that there's a funeral at the Morapedi’s and they're here to pay their respects.
I had to be the one making them tea and listen to them talk about how my dad was a wonderful man.
“Khumo, ngwanaka you have not cried since we have arrived here. It's okay to cry Nana.”
“I'm okay Mma Moruti.”
“Death has no shame ngwanaka but there's nothing we can do. It's unfortunate that your father had to leave us like this, especially you when you're busy writing exams.” Mma moruti
“I'm okay, I studied weeks ago.”
“Make your dad proud by passing well and going after your dreams.”
“I will do that.”

After everyone had left I went to the back and looked at the stars. I felt like crying but something was stopping me from doing that. I felt something poking my boob and I remembered the letter I'm supposed to give my aunt. I still can't believe my dad and aunt used to date and had a baby. Life is weird!
“Khumo why are you outside at this time?”
“I just needed a breather mama.”
“Did your father say anything to you before he.. before he died?”
This woman is really not well in the head. “Nothing that would interest you mama.”
“Khumo these days you have an attitude! Keng ka wena?” (what's wrong with you?)
“He just said that he loves me and I must do well at school and not forget who I am. What else do you want to know?”
“Let me leave before I say something I'll regret.”
I tried not to laugh but I did.
“What's so funny?”
“Nothing mama.”

I left her sitting outside and I went to aunt Dorris to give her the letter. It might grow legs and end up in the wrong hands. I found her at the veranda.
“Khumo?”
“Aunty.”
“What are you doing here so late ngwanaka? You should be at home and mourning. Come and sit next to me.”
I just sat there with so many questions to ask but didn't.
“What's troubling you my baby?”
“Do you hate me because I look like your other baby?”
She was not ready for what I asked her. She looked spooked. “I don't hate you Khumo.”
“Your actions show that you do. I've been having weird dreams of you holding a baby that looked just like me but the baby was dead. Today before Papa passed away, I heard him telling mama that he should have chosen you instead.”
“I don't like talking about my past Khumo, it's really painful. Till this day I still cry for my baby. I wonder if she would have looked exactly like you, have your heart and brains. I look at you and get reminded of the baby I was robbed. I don't hate you though.”
“I'm really sorry for your loss aunty. My dad said I should give you something and that he is very sorry.”
“What's that?”
I gave her the letter. “I didn't know where to hide it that's why I brought it now.”
“Your father broke my heart Khumo. I should hate him right now but the weird thing is that I still love him.”
I awkwardly looked at her.
“I know you don't want to hear this but I still do. He was the first guy I loved wholeheartedly. All these years I spent without him, have been torture.”
“I really don't know what to say but I have to go it's late.”