Lightless Sunshine

Chapter 25 (Part 2)

Chapter 25 (Part 2)

The rain was heavily falling from the dark sky, pouring down on my body. The wind was cold and it was hitting on my face. The weather is just like what I feel today, heavy and gloomy.

I sighed and closed my eyes as I raised my head up, facing the sky—feeling the coldness of the rain. Humangin nang malakas at nilipad nito ang aking mahabang buhok. Ang ilang hibla nito ay tumakip sa aking mukha. Nakangiting itinaas ko nang bahagya ang kamay at dinala ang tubig ulan.

Nanatili ako sa ganoong posisyon sa loob ng ilang minuto. Nakapikit ako at dinadama ang ulan. Wala akong ibang maramdaman kun’di ang pagod. Ang dibdib ko nama’y tila napagod na rin sa pagdadalamhati dahil kusa na lang itong tumigil sa pagkirot. I don’t feel any pain but hollowness. The hole in my chest was killing me.

I slowly opened my eyes and stared at the sky. Humina nang kaunti ang ulan ngunit naroon pa rin ang pagkulog at pagkidlat. Walang liwanag ang kalangitan. Walang buwan, walang bituin, at tanging kadiliman lamang.

I was standing at the edge of the rooftop, silently observing the view of the city. It was so beautiful and lively even though the darkness dominated the whole place. Crowded yet enthusiastic.

And I wondered, aren’t they having problems, too? Why are they so happy? Why are they smiling? Why are they laughing? Wala ba silang kinakaharap na problema ngayon? Wala ba silang mga problema?

Some of the people were amazingly too good to be true to hide their pain. To hide what they’ve been feeling. To hide their problems behind a happy façade. Maybe they’re just all good liars.

How can they do that? How can they act like it was as if everything is fine when the truth is… they’re also struggling?

I smiled stupidly. How I wish I can do the same…

How I wish I am strong as they are. How I wish I could still smile genuinely like them. How I wish I could still pretend that everything is going to be fine. 

“S-Sunshine…”

Just like what I’ve expected, I heard a voice from behind. I turned to them over my shoulders and smiled widely. They were catching their breaths and clutching their chest as sweats formed on their foreheads. Behind him were the people I wanted to see before I die.

“Hi…” I greeted casually and turned around.

They gasped when I almost lost my balance. Natawa ako. “Relax. I’m not yet to die.”

“Sunshine, bumaba ka riyan,” said Travis. Umiling ako.

“Sunny! Please, bumaba ka! Baka mahulog ka!” Quinn exclaimed anxiously.

“Shh…” I put my fingers on my lips as I walked through the edge of the wall.

“Oh, God! Bumaba ka riyan!” Isha cried and looked at me, begging. She and Quinn started crying hard.

Tuluyan nang huminto ang ulan ngunit ang kulog at kidlat ay naroon pa rin. Ngumiti lamang ako sa kanila.

Ilang sandali pa ay may dumating nang mga tao na hindi ko kilala. They are wearing uniforms like they’re rescuers. “Ma’am, please, get down here and you’ll be safe. Baka mahulog ka.”

“Nah. Don’t come near me, Sir. I’ll jump if you do so,” I said and smiled sweetly at the man. The man stepped back.

“Oh, God! Oh, God! Sunshine, please, get down there… Please!” humihikbing sabi ni Isha.

Umiiyak na si Dori naman ang tiningnan ko. Walang emosyon kong sinalubong ang kaniyang mga mata. “Sun… Please, bumaba ka na… Please? Please? Please? Please, baba ka na… Huwag mo ‘tong gawin, please? Maawa ka…” I just smiled bitterly at her.