Only You (GirlxGirl)

Chapter 10

"When did you know?" I asked, trailing my fingers along her waist. We were sitting on her couch and she was in my lap, her blue long sleeve was riding up, revealing some of her skin. She sighed and laid her head on my chest.
"At the end of sophomore year I guess," she said quietly. She was nervous, I could tell. We hadn't really decided what we were going to do about everything but we at least decided to talk it out that night.
"Really?" I felt a smile spread over my face.
"You started to mature more then, I'd never thought about it before. Once you started driving, you seemed like more of an adult to me." Her voice faded slowly.
"How did you know?" I asked, genuinely curious about her feelings for me. She laughed softly.
"I don't know exactly. But I know Sarah irritated me more than anyone on Earth, and you were always there when I needed you... I dunno. It just happened. But of course I could never say anything, whether or not I thought the feelings were mutual." I kissed the top of her blonde head and closed my eyes. She had real feelings for me, love was practically seeping from my pores. Being close to her was still unbelievable. Her hands ran up and down my arms a few times as we laid in silence. But after a minute or so her phone started buzzing. Brooke let out a groan and sat up, running her hands through her hair. I admired her face while she looked around for her phone. When she was irritated she pursed her small, pink lips and a line formed across her forehead. Her face was marked with smile lines, which made me smile. She always seemed so happy and upbeat, which drew me to her. The life radiating from her all the time pulled me in, but even when she was sad like she had been recently, I only wanted to be with her. Eventually she found her phone and glanced at the Caller ID before smiling slightly.
"Hello?" She answered in a sing-song voice. My heart expanded like always at the sound of her excited voice. I heard a slur of noises through the phone but couldn't really tell what was being said.
"Right now?" She glanced at me and her face fell. "Oh, no, that's fine. Yeah, what time?" Her head turned towards the digital clock on the wall in the kitchen. "Okay, see you then." She smiled once more and set the phone down.
"Hot plans?" I asked sort of awkwardly. How was I supposed to act? Normally when you're with someone, if they make plans you can tag along. But since the teacher-student thing is sort of taboo, I figured I probably couldn't.
"It was my sister, she just got back in town from her trip to Chicago," her brown eyes slightly hidden behind her black glasses met mine before falling down to her lap where she was playing with her hands.
"Oh. That's nice," her and her sister were best friends, I'd met her a few times before, "I can go, just tell me when." I sat up so we were side by side and she quickly leaned over to kiss my cheek. I felt myself blush and grin uncontrollably.
"I don't know how this will work out," she sighed, "but I want to be with you." I turned my head to look her in the eyes and pushed her hair back behind her ear.
"I'm glad," I replied, smiling. She leaned in to kiss me again and I rested my hand on the small of her back.
"I don't really want to leave you yet," she said as she pulled away.
"Well I can stay until you have to go. Unless you're wearing this," I teased, grabbing a spot of her gray sweats between my fingers.
"Ha ha," she rolled her eyes and set her hand on my arm with a smack.
"You could if you wanted."
"Yeah, right."
"Well I think you look good." She looked at me and rolled her eyes again and I leaned over to tickle her sides. She began laughing and pushing my hands away, but I used one hand to hold her wrists and I was stronger than her. I kept pestering her for a minute before I pulled my hands away, my legs on either side of her body, kneeling over her. While she caught her breath I looked around her little house, noticing all the picture frames featuring younger versions of Miss Smith with people who must be important to her. Subconsciously hoping someday I'd be in a picture frame with her. While I was looking around, Miss Smith's hands wandered up my back and pulled me down close to her. She immediately touched her lips to mine and slipped her hands under my shirt. I felt warmth rush to my face as I smiled into her kiss. I let my hands wander up her shirt while she put her hands in my hair. We carried on for a few minutes before I pulled away from kissing her neck and asked if she should be getting ready. She groaned and sat up to get off the couch. I watched her walk off into her room and began looking at the walls again.
"I thought you were gonna keep me company," I turned around to see her poking her head out from behind the wall, smiling playfully, biting her lip.
"Okay," I laughed. I got up and wandered in her direction. When I got around the wall, she was already back in her room. I plopped down on her bed and watched her go through her closet, standing in a black bra and her sweatpants.
"What are you guys doing?" I asked, looking at the ceiling.
"We're going for...drinks, with a few friends." She replied slowly. I let out a laugh. "What's so funny?"
"Nothing, I've just never heard you speak about drinking before." I knew she drank, but obviously she'd never directly addressed it.
"Well I'm breaking the rules already, so why not?" She laughed softly too. "Anyways, what should I wear?" I sat up so I could see the outfits she was holding up. One shirt was a beige sweater with brown patches on the elbows and the other was a black sweater with sparkles that glimmered in the light. I laughed.
"What?" she frowned.
"I say the beige sweater."
"What's wrong with the other one?"
"Nothing, they're just totally different. You're just a goofball."
"Whatever." She slipped the sweater on and pulled a pair of jeans out of her dresser and pulled them on too. They fit tight to her and I was internally sad that I couldn't go out with her, I didn't want anyone else to look at her or touch her. I pushed the twinge of jealousy I felt away, she wasn't really mine to get jealous of, I reminded myself. After she changed her clothes, she sat down at the desk across from the bed that had a large mirror sitting on it, scattered over the desk was miscellaneous makeup stuff. She hummed to herself as she took her glasses off and forced her contacts into her eyes. Watching her get ready gave me a weird feeling. I was so intrigued by her, and it made me feel special to be the one there with her.
"Do you do this often?" I asked on accident, "I mean, the teacher-student thing?" I smiled slightly and looked down, not wanting to see her face as she responded, I was sort of being playful but I was really curious.
"No," she said quietly, "only you." We made eye contact through her mirror and her lips curled into a small smile. "You're special, Miss Stephens." I rolled my eyes at her but I was really happy. It put me at ease knowing I wasn't just another thing.
"Have you had other girlfriends?" I asked curiously, I'd never asked about her sexuality or anything, I guess because it wasn't that important to me. "Like, I dunno, are you a boyfriend person? Are you out?" I guess it wouldn't matter if she liked boys, but I hoped she didn't just because boys are sort of gross.
"Um," she began, applying eyeliner, "I had one girlfriend in college, her name was Erin. But she was cruel, and cold-hearted and just, no good. I've talked to some girls but no one really has piqued my interest. I came out to my family and friends in college, but most of the teachers at school don't know. I dated a couple boys in high school and in college before I had the courage to come out, but I don't really like them, no." I felt a huge smile form on my face and she noticed and asked what I was smiling about.
"You're really a brave and kind soul," I said stupidly, not knowing how to express how fond of her I was without flat-out saying I loved her and everything that she was.
"Well, thank you," she grinned goofily at me through the mirror. After she was done with her makeup, I walked over to where she stood.
"I hope you have a good time," I said, not knowing what else to say.
"I hope you have a good night," she replied, "what will you do?"
"Well the night is still young so I could probably ask Katie and Angela to hang out or something."
"Katie?" Her eyes conveyed an emotion I'd never seen her show before. Jealousy? Fear? Confusion for sure.
"Oh" I said quickly, "I forgot, we didn't talk about it." Her gaze stayed on me. "We broke up, obviously-"
"Wait- why? Like what was your reasoning to her?"
"Well obviously I cheated on her, but I was just honest with her about there being someone else." I glanced at Miss Smith and watched the color drain from her face. "No, don't worry, I didn't tell her about what happened." I took her hand and slid my thumb over her skin back and forth, trying to calm her slightly. "I just said I liked an older woman.. and then she said, 'Miss Smith?' And we laughed about it. She doesn't know."
"Why did she guess me?" Her eyes were still wide. I let out a sigh and chuckled to myself softly.
"I've only been in love with you since-" My eyes flashed open and I tried to backtrack, "I MEAN, not like, real in-love, just like... um, you know, I've had this crush on you since freshman year so... it's sort of a well known thing... sorry." My face felt on fire and I tried to smile at Miss Smith but I felt nauseous. I didn't want her to freak out because I said I was in love with her. Luckily my nervous rambling caused her to crack a smile and a slight blush. I let out a sigh of relief, as long as she was smiling I was good, right?
"It's okay," she had a huge smile on her face now, "aw." Aw? Was that good? "Since freshman year huh?" I rolled my eyes, embarrassed.
"Yes, oh my god," I laughed too.
"That's really sweet."
"Queen of Sweetness right here."
"Probably true." She stood on her tiptoes to kiss me once and then a look came over her face, "Um. So, what did she say?" It occurred to me then that Miss Smith might think I had genuine feelings for all the girls I'd been around, which wasn't true because she'd had my heart since I was 15, but how would she know?
"Well we both agreed that we didn't have special feelings for each other. We both have feelings for someone else, it could never work." I looked at her to see her staring across the room, like she was thinking. She nodded at me but didn't make eye contact as she wrapped her arms around herself.
"Just like it couldn't work with Sarah. Or Rachel. Or Lila. Or any other girl I've ever met since freshman year. You've made it so no one else is worth thinking about." Saying that aloud made me nervous. I didn't want to proclaim my love for her outright but I also didn't want her to think I was in love with everybody either, because it was true, I could never be with anyone else completely because Brooke Smith already had a hold on me; whether she knew it or not. Her gaze shifted from the door to my face.
"Do you mean that?" she asked quietly.
"I wish you knew everything." I smiled nervously and scratched the back of my neck. If only she knew how often I thought about her, how often I'd dreamt about her while I was with Katie or Sarah. If only she knew how utterly impossible she'd made it for me to control my feelings for her. Compared to her, one else mattered. Again, I wanted to say this out loud, but I couldn't.
"I wish I did too."
"Sometime."
"Yeah, sometime." After standing in a slightly-awkward silence for a minute, she smiled at me.
"What?" I asked.
"I'm just sort of glad about this. It's gonna be hard, but oh well. We only have a few months left until your graduation anyways, and you'll be 18 in less than a month. If we're quiet and careful... we'll be fine." She shrugged at me and I knew she wasn't thinking very straight. She's always worried about everything, why wouldn't she be worried about something so dangerous? But I let myself enjoy it.
"So we're doing this? We're gonna see where this goes?" I replied.
"I'd like to."
"Me too." Again we were smiling at each other for a moment. I cleared my throat and stepped back from her.
"I should quit holding you from your sister, I'm sorry. Have fun," I said with a smile.
"You too, Kam," she leaned up to kiss me softly and I smiled. Maybe things would finally start working out for me.

-Sorry for delayed update, i'm going through a bit of writer's block. Keep reading, commenting, and voting please! be back soon (I'll try to update quicker)!!-