5||Apologize

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(A/n: this is a trigger warning! There will be mentions of abuse, alcohol use, death, and a panic attack in this chapter! Feel free to skip this chapter if either of those topics make you uncomfortable!)

•JJ pov•

From where I was standing, I could see everyone. That Kook's sister was standing there, looking as she had seen a ghost. Kie said something to her and she went inside. After she entered the chateau, Kie walked to me.

"Don't fucking say that to Y/n, JJ!", she yelled.

"Why shouldn't I? I was right. She's annoying.", I respond.

"You have no right to be saying that. You used to talk to her a lot before you knew who she was. I knew who she was the instant you told us about her. You were fucking happy when you found out that she was your mystery girl. Then you go make out with Carla. Then, you find out she's Topper's twin sister and what do you do? You ice her out and treat her like shit! She has stuff going on at home so you better apologize to her!", she yells.

"Or else what?", I reply smugly.

"Dude, just apologize to her.", said John B.

"Yeah. You're kinda being a dick, man.", said Pope.

"Ugh, fine. But I'm only going so you guys could stop being a pain in the ass.", I said as I headed towards the chateau.

♪y/n pov♪

"JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP, PRINCESS! NOT EVERYBODY WANTS TO LISTEN TO YOUR ANNOYING VOICE, GOT IT?!", shouted JJ.

That was 5 minutes ago. Right now, I'm in the bathroom, trying not to have a panic attack.

"I'm going to be okay.", I said to myself as my body trembled in fear, "I'm not going to h-have a panic attack. His w-words aren't going to get to me.", I said shakily.

"You should've died like your old man did last year.", said Alex's voice inside my head.

(A/n: play the song at this point)

           ~flashback(1 year ago)~
I was seventeen again. I was drawing (f/c), my favorite character from (f/s). Alex slammed my door open, clearly intoxicated.

"GYET UP, YOU LITTLE SHKIT!", yelled Alex as he dragged me down by my hair and across the floor.

"AH! LET ME GO! I DIDN'T DO ANY-", I couldn't say anything else as he threw me down the stairs, my body tumbling ever way possible.

"AAAAAAH!", I screamed as I saw my right arm bent in an odd angle.

Alex stomped down the stairs, towards me.

"DON'T YOU FUCKING TRY TO GET UP!", he said as he swung his palm down across my face, a stinging sensation blossoming on my cheek.

Topper ran downstairs to see what the cause of commotion was.

"What's going on?-", he asked until he saw what was happening on the ground below his father, "Y/N!", he screamed.

"DON'T YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT TRYING TO HELP THIS BITCH!", bellowed Alex angrily at Topper.

Topper, being as afraid as he was, fled up the stairs.

"YOU", kick, "SHOULD'VE", kick, "DIED", kick, "LIKE", kick, "YOUR", kick, "FATHER!", he spat on my face before taking a drink out of his flask, "you damn bastard.", he drunkenly said as he stumbled up the stairs.

I laid there crying in pain and gasping for air until Topper ran downstairs quickly and carried me up into my room, one hour later.

               ~flashback ended~
•JJ pov•

I knocked on the door, hoping for a response from (Y/n).

"Y/n...", I knocked again, "hey...", I stated calmly, "It's JJ. Your favorite blonde. You mind if I come in?", I asked calmly.

I pressed my ear on the door and heard her painful sobs.

"Y/n?!", I asked worriedly as I opened the door and saw her crying into her arms, knees curled up to her chest, "hey, whats wrong?", I asked calmly.

The only response I got was more tears and her gasping for breath. She was having a panic attack. I have to help her. I mean, I'd be more of a dick if I let her cry until she passed out, right?

"Hey, hey, hey!", I yelled as I ran to her, sliding onto my knees before settling myself down in front of her, "sorry...", I apologized softly, "breathe with me, okay?", I asked in a calm, commanding manner.

I got a positive nod from her.

"Okay," I said as I smiled calmly, "listen to my breaths and voice, " I said, "breathe in for one second," I instructed as I breathed in, "hold it for two," I said as I held it in, "and breathe out for three, " I said as I released my breath.

We repeated this process for about five more minutes until she calmed down, recovering slowly from it.

"Are you feeling better?", I asked as I raised my left eyebrow in concern and rubbing her right shoulder with my left arm, trying to comfort her.

"Y-yeah," she stutters as she cleared her throat, "I just, um,  haven't had one of those in a while.", she said, finishing her sentence as she chuckled.

"Well," I said as I got up and dusted my shorts off of any dust, "you're coming home with me."

"What? Why? I thought you hated me.", she asked calmly.

"I don't hate you, (Y/n). I never have. I just need to explain my behavior and apologize to you for being a dick for no reason. I'm not taking 'no' for an answer.", I stated firmly.

"...fine.", she muttered quietly.

"Plus, my dad's not home so we have all the time to do what we want.", I said cockily.

"I already said fine once. Isn't one 'fine' good enough for you?", she asked.

"Nope. You gotta say it again, princess.", I suggested happily.

"Fine.", she said firmly as she rolled her eyes.

'I'm sorry, (Y/n), truly. But that isn't what you need to hear. You need to hear more. You deserve to hear more from me.', I thought silently to myself.
                      -end of ch. 5-

(A/n: bye bye. I'm trying not to laugh myself to sleep cuz while writing the end of this chapter, 'Arcade', by Duncan Laurence, finished playing and right after WAS THE FUCKING YARICHIN BITCH CLUB OPENING!!! AND I LAUGHED CUZ ARCADE IS IN MY SAD BOI HOURS PLAYLIST SO I LAUGHED OUTTA SHOCK WHEN THE YBC OPENING PLAYED CUZ WTF MY MUSIC WENT FROM 😭🥺 to 🥵😩😈🤤)

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