A Tale of Time

Chapter 8: Fear of You

Chapter 8: Fear of You

Gailien pulls Bilbo into a tight hug. "Thank you," she says. "I will see you in the morning."

"You don't need help packing?" Gailien shakes her head with a small smile to thank for his offer. "Would you like me to tell them or will you be alright speaking with them."

"I can do it," she affirms. "I'm not scared of them. I just...struggle to remember that sometimes."

Gailien spent the next hour after returning to her chambers with Bilbo, telling him everything without restraint. Bilbo, as he always has been, was the perfect listener and did not throw any blame on her. He explained what she already guessed – that the past few events have been traumatic, and her body is still trying to cope. Reliving past events are not uncommon among warriors, he told her. Kili was right – she isn't well. But that raised the question of how she is supposed to heal. She could deal with the nightmares but for them to infiltrate her gift, haunting her through the day is another thing completely.

It isn't fair on her, or the people she loves.

Dwalin told her to choose the option best for her, not the easiest. And that is what she is doing. It would not be easy to leave them behind and not something she wants to do, but she needs this break. To go to the Shire, escorting Bilbo home then making her way back to Erebor.

Bilbo bids her goodnight, leaving Gailien alone to start putting things into her pack. She puts Bofur's wooden carving in first, tucking it neatly into one of the side pockets. Most of her things are already in there – her water canteen, bedroll so she just adds a few choices of clothing, a spare pair of shoes and a few hair ties. She debates when she should tell him, but her choices are thin.

Bilbo is leaving at first light in the morning, Gailien acting as his escort so Gandalf can return to doing as he wishes. She would either have to tell them then, already packed and about to leave or she could do so tonight.

But the choice is taken away from her with a soft knock on her door. They don't enter, waiting for her permission so she saunters over, opening the door. Thorin stands on the other side with a blank expression, but she can see the confusion in his eyes.

"I'm ok," she says, speaking first. "I'm sorry that happened, especially in front of the company and your cousin."

"That's not my concern," he replies. "My concern is that you are healthy. And I'm starting to believe that you are not. Have you seen Oin?"

"It's not anything a healer can fix," she replies with a mournful smile.

"Have your nightmares been troubling you more?" he peppers, stepping closer. "We could have a sleeping draft made. The boys told me that you were better this morning after sharing a room, I could organise something semi-permanent. The offer to share my room stays-"

"Thank you," she smiles. "But I don't think it will be necessary."

"If you are sure," he says, then glances over her shoulder. His perplexed expression deepens and Gailien sighs, shoulders slumping. "Are you packing?"

Gailien nods, stepping away from the door to let him in. Thorin steps in, his face stonily. He looks around her room, observing what is missing and what she is leaving behind. Behind to what?

"I don't understand," he chokes. "I thought you were going to stay in Erebor. With me."

"And I was," she spits out, marching towards him. She cups his face, breaking contact away from her room to her. "I only just decided an hour ago but I'm going to escort Bilbo back to the Shire. Nothing permanent, I might stay for a month or so to rest but then I will return."