Guns and Numbers

chapter ten

The weekend was eventful. I had fun with Mason and my phone was blowing up with messages from celeste, carlos and bella. Even a couple of texts from Javier and liam.
Today is Monday and am going to work. I am wearing a dark blue jumpsuit with a black leather jacket and blue six inch block heels with a blue prada bag. I had done my eyebrows, eyeshadow, mascara and lipstick. My hair was in a high pony tail.
I walked into the office building and entered the elevator. Bella and Carlos were in it.
‘Aqua we were so worried about you. How did you get home?’ Carlos asked.
I sipped my coffee and ignored them.
‘Aqua we didn’t know that Valerie would be there’ Bella said.
I rolled my eyes. Y’all didn’t know she would be there but y’all knew she existed. What a load of bullshit.
‘aqua please.’ Bella said.
The elevator came to a stop on our floor. I went out and went straight to my office. I removed the jacket and went straight to work.
Time flies when you are pissed at your workmates.
‘Aqua, we have to get to the meeting with Green inc.’ carlos said.
I took the files and my jacket and followed him to the conference room. The people from the Green Incorporated were not yet here so the conference room only had Celeste and Carlos.
I went and sat on my usual spot and cross checked the files. Afterwards brought out my phone and started to play a game. Mason was having an exam and he was so nervous about it.
I checked the time and the guys were already ten minutes late.
‘here are the files on the company. They have good numbers and they can help bring up the profits to the company if you invest in it. am sorry but I have someplace I need to be.’ I said and stood up. I passed the files to him.
‘so you are going to dump your work and act like a spoilt brat just be---‘
I turned and looked at him. my face was wearing a deep frown. They were both shocked to see me spotting a frown. I was pissed and I wasn’t in the mood to hide it.
‘is there anything you want to say to me? Say it to my face and don’t hide behind the lies of me acting like a spoilt brat. Your clients are running late and disrupting my schedule.’ I said.
He opened his mouth to say something but Carlos held him back. I stood for a few minutes and looked at them. The more I looked the more pissed I got. I was tired of being walked all over on.
I raised my eyebrow.
‘valerie is not my w—‘
‘look, I don’t care who she is to you. She might really be your wife or she might not. I don’t give a fuck anymore. I was brought here to work and work I will. I have been pranked lots of times and I was stupid to actually think I had friends. I have been pranked loads of times but I surely didn’t see this one coming. So am---‘
‘it wasn’t a prank Aqua.’ Carlos said.
‘well whatever cruel joke it was, I have learnt my lesson’ I said and walked out.
I walked to my office and got my bag. I walked out of the floor and to the elevator.
Bella tried to talk to me but I aint dealing with it now.
I got into my car and drove out of town till I reached the cemetery in the outskirts of the town.
The only person that really cared about me died and was buried here. She was an old lady that was our neighbour when I was sold by my junkie of a mother. She died after battling with leukaemia. I always bring white roses since they were her favourite with yellow tulips. I walked to her grave and sat down facing it.
‘I miss you’ I said as I looked at the tombstone.
‘I miss you so much Miss Mary. I miss you so much. I miss your stories and your famous lemon and orange cookies. I still cant perfect it. I still haven’t gone through your stuff. I am afraid of going through it because I will miss you so much. More than I do now. My life is getting better now and I wish you were here to see it and enjoy my money with me. I wish I was able to pay for your surgery maybe you would have lived for some more time. I miss you so much.’ I said.
I stuck around for sometime and then I went to my car. I broke down. I cried.  I let every bottled feeling out and I knew that I had relapsed. I had gone back to my dark times.
I never let myself feel anything but happiness even though it was forced but now that pretense is over and I don’t know how to go back. I drove back to the office. I had forgotten some files and I was going to on them. I wiped my tears and fixed myself.
I reached the top floor and I found Bella and Carlos speaking to each other. As soon as they saw me they stopped. My eyes were puffy and red and no make up would fix that.
‘Aqua my office.’ Celeste said.
I went to his office. He sat down on the couch and gestured me to sit down as well. I sat down far away from.
‘were you crying?’ he asked.
‘why am I here?’ I asked. My voice was still a bit raspy but I didn’t care.
‘damn it Aqua! She isn’t my wife. She was a fuck buddy and a close friend of mine. Am not married nor in a sexual relationship or sim—‘
‘I know.’ I said.
‘then why are you being like this?’ he asked.
‘you didn’t correct  her, you just stood there listening to her talk shit to me and non of you guys stood up for me. I might not have any experience with friendship but I at least know that friends stick together. From that point I knew that Miranda was right. I knew that everybody was right. Am worthless and not valued. I would rather be alone than expect somebody I trusted and thought was my friend just stand by and watch me being talked down on.’ I said.
‘aqua, that’s not it.’ he said. He tried to touch me but I flinched and moved away from him. he seemed hurt but then again, he deceived me once whats going to stop him from deceiving me again?
‘whatever relationship you have with Valerie is between you and your friends. Not me. And today was the day I lost somebody special. I wasn’t crying over you.’ I said.
‘Aqua give me another chance.’ He said.
‘so that you can stand by and watch me being belittled again? No thanks. You all broke my trust and I have learnt my lesson. To hell with your friendship.’ I said.
I walked out.