if i can't have you || rini au

44. overheard

the girls and seb all frowned and sighed sadly

"i'm sorry..." gina said, sitting down on the bed

nini shook her head quickly "oh! no, it's alright...i mean, i miss him every day, but i know he'd want me to be free spirited...he was the same. and it's not like i grew up without a fatherly figure, i have benjamin."

"benjamin?" kourtney asked

nini nodded again "yep, benjamin. he's my...mother's best friend."

she covered up the little slip up and hesitation with a smile, everyone seemingly unfazed by it as she exhaled slowly and quietly

"that's nice. they must miss you then," seb told her, hugging a pillow to his chest as he leaned forward while seated at gina's bay window

nini chuckled "sometimes i wonder if they think they're free of me for the time being...i wasn't always the best rule-obeying child...it drove my mother mad."

"preach!" kourtney exclaimed, pointing to herself with a smirk as they all laughed

"well, we're happy you decided to come to salt lake because it seems right that you're here," ashlyn said sweetly

"are you going soft on us ashlyn moon caswell?" gina asked with a raised eyebrow before getting thrown a pillow by the very red-headed girl

nini giggled "thank you...i'll miss it a lot when i go..."

"wait you're going to leave again?"

that's when the brunette froze once again and she opened her mouth, looking around her "uhhh...i mean...don't we-all? have to? for...college?"

"oh, right don't remind me. my parents want me to make a list of all the ivy schools to go to," ashlyn groaned

"poor you and your exhausting good fortune," gina said with an exaggerated sigh

"yeah no, i'm not mentally ready to leave school yet, it's pretty terrifying." seb added, all of them nodding apart from nini - who was staying silent. she had zero knowledge of the college world; of course she knew of the basics but the exams to take to get into them and the process? no idea whatsoever.

"do you have any in mind, nini?"

"hm?"

"college?"

"oh!" nini exclaimed with a nervous laugh "right! college...um...no, not really. i think in the moment...i might just...take a break?"

"same! me and carlos are going to go backpacking through europe as our gap year." seb said excitedly

"oh my gosh that sounds so exhilarating!" the brunette girl told him with her eyes wide in interest

seb nodded "yup! it's going to be so amazing."

"don't worry, we'll get photos with the hundreds of selfies los takes every day." kourtney chuckled, earning nods from the others and a faded smile from nini

"okay, i need milk with this cake, it's too chocolatey." ashlyn said, making her way to stand up before nini quickly did before her

"me too!" nini said suddenly "i'll-go get some. for all of us!"

"oh-you sure?"

"yes! definitely! i'll be...right back." nini told them before swiftly turning around and rushing out of the bedroom, making her way downstairs to the kitchen and sighing deeply

she closed her eyes for a few seconds, leaning against the counter before shaking her head "no. no overthinking, nina." she mumbled as she took out the milk from the fridge and a few glasses, placing them on the counter top

the silence of the room was interrupted by nini's phone ringing, the girl taking a deep breath as she looked at the contact and answered it

"hello," she greeted, exhaling

"good evening to you miss nina, you seem to be in a good mood," benjamin's sarcastic voice was heard "shouldn't you be at your first slumber party? why aren't you your usual exhaustingly excited self?"

nini sighed "i'm just overwhelmed..."

"with?"

"them! i really like them benjamin," she frowned as she turned away from the entrance of the kitchen and leaned against the counter "they're extremely kind and exactly what i've been waiting to have; real friendship that feels like they're my family...but-they're also talking about college, and their lives waiting ahead of them...and even me and ricky's potential future..."

"and all you're thinking about is how you have to come back to autonia in six months?" he finished

nini's frown deepened, her heart dropping at the words and reality of it all and she nodded, closing her eyes "i just know that these types of futures aren't mine. being queen of autonia is."

"have you talked to your aunt or ricky about this?"

"a little...but, we agreed one step at a time. and that means winter formal and being together." she said with a shaky voice

"but...?"

nini brought her hand to her head and shook her head "benjamin, how am i supposed to live in the moment when it's going to be over before i know it? all of this; this life that i've built here - ricky, the bakery, my friends...it'll all be over and i'll have no one...i'll have the biggest responsibility in the world: one that i've been preparing myself for all my life...i'll-it's just so much to take in-maybe this was just a bad idea... maybe it was too big of one-"

"there are never ideas big enough for the world, your highness." benjamin said softly

nini felt her eyes sting before she closed them at the sound of those words...it was something her father repeatedly said to anyone and everyone. especially her.

she swallowed back her feelings and exhaled slowly "what do you think he'd tell me?" she asked in a small voice, vulnerability and hopelessness evident in it as she heard benjamin sigh

"your highness, i'd known your father a long time, i also know that he would definitely be proud of what you are doing and the young woman you've become." he told her "but i also know, that he'd want you to savor in and make the most of what you're doing whenever you do it. so do just that. i know you're overwhelmed, but you'll know how to go on, alright?"

nini slowly nodded her head, shuddering a breath "alright..."

"i'm always a call away, as well. and, though your mother has been a bit busy to call, she misses you and is proud of you."

nini cracked a small smile "thank you benjamin..."

they stayed in silence on the phone for a few seconds before the brunette girl knit her eyebrows together and stood upright in concern

"hold on...how did you know i was at a slumber party? we haven't talked since last week?" she said in confusion

"right then, i've got to get going!" he exclaimed

"benjamin-"

"have a nice evening, your highness!"

"benjamin?!" she exclaimed before she was met with the end of the call, exhaling slowly as she looked at her phone in utter bewilderment before exhaling deeply once again, shaking her head as she turned around

but she suddenly was frozen in her spot when seeing gina at the doorway with her eyes wide and jaw dropped from the entire conversation she'd just heard.