❝𝗕𝗨𝗧𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗙𝗟𝗜𝗘𝗦. ── 𝗝.𝗝𝗞✔️

xxxiv

The line moved forward and Yoongi stood in front of the cashier.

"Hi, what can I get you?"

Yoongi's eyes nearly popped out of his head. His eyes shot up and immediately find the familiar, pleasantly beautiful eyes that belong to Jimin. They were wide too, but only for a moment. He was at his job and in this moment Yoongi was simply a customer.

"Jimin-"

"What do you want?" Jimin asked again, looking down at the screen in front of him. His voice had turned soft. He couldn't bear to raise it any louder or he might scream at him. He just wanted to hurry up and take his order and be done with it.

Yoongi put his phone away and sighed. "Just a coffee with four creamers. French Vanilla." He cleared his throat. He watched as Jimin put in the order and simply typed in his name. "2.05."

The awkwardness between the two of them was choking. They both simply wanted to leave. They know they should have a conversation, that they should sort this out but Yoongi wasn't ready for that and Jimin didn't want to hear what he had to say in fear that his heart may get further broken.

Yoongi gave him his card and put in his pin and once the transaction was done, he moved on. Jimin's eyes linger for a moment and he takes his bottom lip between his teeth, but he couldn't look for long, there was already another customer coming.

Yoongi was still questioning who he was. He was still questioning if he wanted to accept the reality of the situation. Was he ready to face the disgust of his parents? Possibly being disowned? Was he ready for the looks he would get, walking hand in hand with Jimin down the street?

Was he ready to completely ignore and abandon Jimin to save himself? Was he ready to forever hide and deny who he is just to live in comfort?

Yoongi got his coffee and quickly left the cafe to go find Hoseok. He couldn't bear to look back at Jimin. He wouldn't talk to Jimin until he figured himself out. Until he firmly decides what he wants to do.

He just hopes that Jimin won't hate him. That he doesn't hate him.

-

"Don't we have an exam next Wednesday?" Hoseok questioned as they entered their dorm room. Yoongi hasn't really been responsive since they met on the edge of the boardwalk. He's been really quiet, more quiet than usual. It was odd.

Yoongi nodded and tossed his bag onto his bed. He kicked off his shoes and put them under his bed before going to his desk. His mind was swarming with thoughts. With images of Jimin, the way his eyes flashed with the reminder of his pain. The way tears streamed down his flushed cheeks when Yoongi said that their kiss was a mistake. He hurt Jimin a lot and he regretted it so much.

He looked back to Hoseok who sat on his bed, on his phone laughing about something. Maybe he should ask Hoseok what to do, but that would require Yoongi to come out to him. To out himself.

Yoongi held his own shaking hands, trying to calm his nerves. "Hey, Hobi?"

The black-haired man looked up, eyes wide with curiosity. "What's up?"

"I-I think I might be gay...or bi...or pan. I don't fucking know what it is but...I like a guy." His eyes were wide, terrified of how Hoseok may react. He was the most open-minded person Yoongi knew, but he was still careful.

Saying those words, having those words on his tongue made Yoongi uncomfortable. He wasn't used to those words being heard in the real world and not in his mind.

A smile pulled into Hoseok's lips, a grin really. "That's good!" When Yoongi frowned he changed his answer. "Bad? Okay? Cool? I don't know what you want me to say? If you think you're gay then you probably are. You know yourself better than me, Yoon."

Yoongi stood up from his desk and ran his hands over his face. "I don't know. I don't know. I'm just scared. I've never liked a guy before, like- how do you even go about that?"

"Like anyone else?" Hoseok shrugged. "A crush is a crush, Yoongi. It's all the same if you strip it down to its simplest form."

Wow, he was actually making sense. Most of the time he just says nonsensical things and then laughs for 5 minutes about it.

Yoongi ran his fingers through his soft green hair. "But my parents. You know how they are-"

"Respectfully, fuck your parents." Hoseok never liked them. He's never met them but by the way, Yoongi described them, they sounded exhausting and unbearably horrible. Racist, homophobic, just all the worst things.

Hoseok put his phone down and got out of bed. He came over and stood tall in front of Yoongi who looked like he was about to have a mental breakdown. He placed his hands on Yoongi shoulders and forced him to look at him.

"Dude. Even if you're gay, bi, pan, whatever, you're still you. You don't just suddenly become gay, it's always there you just discover it." He shook the older man slightly.

It was oddly inspirational. Hoseok was surprisingly good at pep talks.

"If you wanna suck a dick, well then goddamn it you suck it. Suck it hard."

Never mind, no he isn't.

Yoongi scoffed and slapped his hands away while Hoseok fell to the floor laughing. The older couldn't help but smile as well. He was glad he asked Hoseok about it. He was right. You can't just randomly decide to be gay, it's just how you're born.

Yoongi had to accept that he is the way he is and that he can't change it. He'll be miserable if he ignores it.

Yoongi decides that he needs to talk to Jimin about this. Maybe he wasn't ready to come out to the world, but hopefully, he'll be able to admit some truths to Jimin.

*.✧ Kᴀʏs Eɴᴅɪɴɢ Nᴏᴛᴇs

JIMIN AND YOONGI ARE GONNA MAKE UP SOON. I REPEAT, JIMIN AND YOONGI ARE FINALLY GONNA MAKE UP SOON. All these loose threads are coming together and I'm so excited.

Thank you all for reading. I hope you guys enjoyed and I wish you all a wonderful day/night.

사랑해

~Kay o((*^▽^*))o