Eliana (holocaust story)

Chapter 5

The torah was sacred. Harming it at all was very sinful. Once, David had dropped it when we were Levi’s age. Even though he was a child and it was an accident, he had to fast for a month, only eating after sunset.

I couldn’t imagine a punishment for destroying the torah on purpose. Could god forgive that? Would he curse the person? Maybe send her to hell?

Mama and my uncle had been appalled when she screamed that she needed to burn it. None of us had ever had thoughts like that. She seemed so far gone and only drifting farther into the depths of her mind.

Witnessing the breakdown of his mother shook David. He had expected it as well but that was completely different then actually seeing it.

David was strong, never swaying easily. He supported Tziporah and I whenever we needed it. He never was offended or hurt by people at school.

At school, I couldn’t focus and neither could David. It wasn’t a very productive school day. But neither of us seemed to care that we had missed a days worth of lessons, at the moment, our issues appeared more pressing.

When we were let out, David and I waited for Shira and Levi. Other people from our class hung around talking to each other and avoiding us, as usual.

“Will she get better?” he asked me quietly. His voice held hope but he knew I didn’t have an exact answer for him.

I wasn’t sure if I should tell him the truth or what he wanted to hear. The truth was that I honestly believe she is too far gone to come back to us. This time has changed her and damaged her possibly beyond repair. She had become a shell of who she used to be.

David needed to try to find his hope again, so I told him what I thought he needed to hear.

“Tziporah has told me that things have to get worse before they can get better.” I replied, looking up at the cloudy sky. “I’m trying my best to believe that.”

“How much worse can they get?” he muttered bleakly.

“Don’t say that. Keep your hope.” I tried to encourage him. “I can’t lose you.”

We’ve all been told many times that losing our hope is what makes us lose ourselves. I believed that because of aunt Tovah. I had to keep even just a little sliver of hope or I would lose myself and never be able to come back.

“I could say the same to you.” He replied. He took my hand and I squeezed his to let him know I understood.

“Lena!” I heard someone calling my name. I heard the pounding of his boots on the ground. I knew it was he. My heart soared but my brain screamed no. I couldn’t have him.

I wanted to run away and avoid the confrontation.

Or maybe did I want to run to hug him and say that I missed him? it was hard to say at this point.

I turned and saw Felix running to me. He stopped directly in front of me.

His bright green eyes appeared a few shades or tints darker, he had bags under his eyes. His jaw was firmly set.

I guessed I had been expecting to see him in uniform but he wasn’t. He wore a green coat that matched his eyes and black trousers. He was not even a bit out of breath from sprinting.

“Can we talk?” he asked.

Yes, I wanted to say. Please.

“I’m sorry, I can’t-“ he cut me off with a slight glare.

“You owe me that much. Just five minutes of your time is all I’m asking.”

“I need to walk my siblings home.” I said, this was my last defense.