Eliana (holocaust story)

Chapter 4

The next morning, David and I had to drag Shira and Levi to school with us. I didn’t want to go at all but I knew it wasn’t really an option. If I didn’t go, Shira and Levi wouldn’t want to either.

The snow hadn’t melted much yet but some paths had been cleared. Some were still covered. Black ice made the walk a thousand times more dangerous.

Shira and Levi had been hoping we wouldn’t have to go to school today. David and I had figured we would. But this caused Shira and Levi to be in worse moods then normal.

“It’s cold.” Shira complained for the thousandth time.

“The faster we get to school, the sooner you get out of the cold.” I tried to remind her as patiently as I could. I wasn’t in a great mood but that didn’t mean I had to take it out on my family. I wanted to turn around and go back home to sleep.

“But I don’t want to go.” She whined.

“Petra, stop whining.” David was a bit less patient. He used Shira’s fake name now that we weren’t in our home. He would’ve killed me if I had made him deal with them alone.

Levi grabbed my hand. “Can we play a game?”

“What game, Lukas?” I asked, smiling slightly down at him.

“I spy.”

“That’s a baby game.” Shira said. “Right, Tobias?”

“I want to play.” David brushed her off.

“Sure. You go first, Luke.” I ignored Shira.

“I spy with my little eye.” He paused looking around. “Something white.”

“The snow?” I guessed.

“Nope.”

“Petra’s coat?” David guessed.

“No.” he grinned.

“The clouds?” I asked.

“Yes!” he exclaimed. “Your turn, Lena.”

We played I spy all the rest of the way to school. Shira joined in eventually. I was glad she stopped complaining. I swear David would’ve blown up at her if she kept it up.

When we arrived at the school, they headed to their own classes. David and I went together.

Our teacher, Ms. Blackbern nodded at us as we entered her room. She was an uptight old woman with faded brown hair in a tight bun, severe grey eyes and thin-framed glasses.

David and I grabbed our seats in the middle of the class. We never sat in the front or the back because Ms. Blackbern watched those kids the most.

I took out one of my notebooks from my bag and started drawing before class started. We’d have grammar first followed by history, science, math and literature.

“You should do my grammar for me,” David said, making conversation. He hated grammar and history.

“Only if you do math and science for me.” I smiled, I hated both those subjects with a passion.

“No way, I suck at science.” He replied.

“Your still better at it then I am.”

“But that doesn’t mean I want to do double the work.”

“Good morning, students.” Ms. Blackbern shut the door and went to stand in the front of the room. Everyone knew that meant be quiet.

The entire day was basically spent reading from textbooks on this week’s new topics in each subject. It was easy to fall asleep on these kinds of days. We weren’t allowed to talk to anyone until we finished each subjects reading.

At the end of the day, Shira, Levi, David and I walked home.

“Are you still going to see Felix today?” Levi asked me curiously.

I sighed, as much as I wanted to see him and pretend I didn’t know anything, I couldn’t. I would see him differently, I would act differently. He’d notice and call me out on it. How would I handle that? Not well.

“No.” I told him.

“They don’t like each other anymore, stupid.” Shira said.

“Petra, you don’t know anything about him and I.” I snapped at her. I did not like how she said that, as if it were certain and permanent. As if everyone knew that as a fact. It hurt to think that way even if it was a reality.

“But it’s true, right?” she persisted, seeing that it bothered me.

“Petra, that is enough.” David glared at her, grabbing my arm to keep me from answering her and saying something stupid. “It is none of your business.”

She huffed and refused to look at him or me. I was fine with that.

What would he think about me not showing up today? I figured he would know something was wrong because I never skipped meeting up with him. Even if I was sick or I only could stay for five minutes, I always showed up.

He’d probably search for me around town, thinking something bad had happened to me. He’d be worried and try to talk to Tziporah tomorrow. If he saw David, he would talk to him as well. When they talked to him, he would only become more confused.

I wondered how long it would take before he gave up trying to find me. Would it only take a few days? How quickly would he lose his resolve? I knew I’d see him eventually just because we live in the same town and its not that big.

What stung the most about what Shira said is that I still wanted him to love me. Also some stupid part of me still loved him. but I couldn’t do anything about it. I hoped it would fade soon and make this somewhat easier for me.

“You okay?” David whispered so only I would hear.

I just shrugged. At this point, I wasn’t even sure how to answer that. Make up more lies? I didn’t want to add more to my long list.

“I’m sorry.” He sighed.

“Not your fault.” I muttered.

“I know.”

Baba was alone in the house when we had school. She didn’t work because mama and uncle didn’t want her to push herself.

Tziporah, mama, papa, uncle and Aunt Tovah normally got home after I’d go visit Felix but still before I came home.

We all tried to finish our homework before dinner. Baba was usually napping when we came home so we had to keep quiet.

Today, when Tziporah got home, she told me that Felix stopped by and asked if I was okay. She had told him that I just needed space. I wasn’t sure if her saying that was good or bad. I had no idea as to what I’d rather her say, so I didn’t complain.

Part of me felt bad that he had no idea what had happened. But he’d figure out we were done eventually, right? He wasn’t stupid. Would he ever guess why though?

If I were in his position right now, I’d be confused and frankly, quite irritated.

It wasn’t fair to him, but really, had I ever been?

At dinner, I was quiet. I didn’t feel like talking. No one tried to push me, they would tell I was still upset. Shira did apologize per David’s request. I doubted she meant it though but it didn’t really matter to me anyways.

I was numb. Cold. Empty. Part of it was the remaining shock of his identity. The other part was the heartache. Even though he didn’t know everything about me, he knew things my family did not. He knew special things about me. I knew things about him as well.

But I had to let go, we had to move on.

damn midterms! -_- i am sleep deprived and not in a great mood.

sorry this is a short chapter, its a filler if you couldnt tell. 

off to do more studying! biology AND algebra tomorrow.... kill me now.

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<3

Tori