Kaz Brekker's Queen

FIVE

"Come on Chels. Please?" Jesper begged me. "I'll go get Kaz if you don't get on." He continued, making a threat.
"I am NOT getting in that thing." I said firmly, planting my feet as Jesper tried to pull me forwards.
"I promise you my dear it's perfectly safe. We need you as well to keep it balanced. The goat won't weigh the same as you now will it?" The Conductor said, also trying to reason with me.
"The goat probably weighs more to be fair with you." Jesper snickered, leaning on my shoulder in his casual manner. The Conductor looked confused. "What? I mean look at her! She's skinny as fuck. Why do you think the boss likes her so much. Not only does he love her, but she is also the only bodyguard and assassin who Kaz trusts with his life. They look out for each other ya know." Jesper said cheekily before once again trying to manoeuvre me onto the transport.
"Not happening Jesper." I stated firmly once again.
"Fine. Hard way it is then..." a voice I should have recognised said before I was picked up over someone's shoulder and carried onto the transport. The person set me down as the door was closed and I went to swing at them. Luckily I stopped myself because it was Kaz.
"What was all that about? Did you not want to come?" Kaz asked rather sharply after reading my horrified face.
"Kaz how could you..." I stuttered with a broken voice as the transport shot off into The Fold. He'd forgotten about my claustrophobia and now there was no turning back. Jesper gasped in horror as I balled myself up on the seat, resting my chin on my knees.
"Kaz you bloody idiot. HER CLAUSTROPHOBIA!" Jesper shouted at him. I could vaguely see Kaz's face suddenly change from that of irritancy to complete horror and shock at what he'd just done.
"Jesper...the goat. Give her the goat. Put it in her lap and make her cuddle it. She'll soon forget that we're in this thing." The conductors voice said. Jesper picked up the small baby goat that he'd named Milo and put him in my arms. I cuddled Milo against me, my fingers feeling his soft fur and distracting me from everything. Animals were so important to me and were one of the few things that calmed me down.
"Chels I..." Kaz began but I cut him off.
"I don't want to talk to you Kaz. In fact right now, I can't even look at you." I said with true sadness and genuine hurt in my voice. I set Milo down on the ground and he wandered to Jesper, plopping down by his legs.
"So what happens if we get attacked by the Vultra?" Jesper asked.
"Be thankful you aren't in the open. Now there's a nest close by but if we're lucky enough, we should just pass right through..." his words were soon followed by that all too familiar screeching. We were under attack...

TIMESKIP

By the time we reached the other side, Jesper was full of twice as much confidence, the Conductor was still working out if he was alive or not, Kaz was getting himself together and clearly forming plans and routes for everything and Milo was tucked safely under Jespers arm. As for me, I was having a moment alone behind some bushes. You probably guessed but yes, I was throwing up. This time was different though. I felt faint and lightheaded. A distinctive whistle sounded, one I'd know amongst a million. Kaz's call for me. The one I always came to. The one thing that was more important to Kaz and me than anything in the world. Between the Crows, everyone knows that whistle was like having a marriage certificate for me and Kaz. Not this time. I wasn't going to come. Not immediately anyway. So I stood there a few minutes more and waited.
"Chels?" I heard Kaz shout with worry. I still didn't respond. Instead, I sorted myself out and headed back to the group. "Did you not hear me call?" Kaz asked, slight worry evident on his pale face.
"What do you take me for? dog?" I snapped, pushing past him and walking off ahead.

I had every reason to treat Kaz as as a complete stranger after this. There's no way he could ever make up for this one. Forcing me into something that triggered my claustrophobia and nearly made me pass out. Thinking about himself instead of anyone else.
"Hey Chels. Wait up. Damn you walk quick for someone so short." Jesper panted, catching up to me.
"Hey Jes. What's up?" I asked, the feeling of downiness getting worse and worse.
"I know your hurt by this but he didn't mean it. Boss just wanted to get the journey over and done with. If you hadn't have gotten on when you did, we never would have made it through because it would have been too dangerous. I was barely able to hold off the few that came at us in there let alone a dozen or so more. You get me right?" He said, pushing me playfully.
"Yeah. I guess. A little warning would have been nice or perhaps a face-to-face explanation rather than just being forced onboard." I said, raising my voice so Kaz deliberately heard me.
"Look I'm sure you two will get through this. You need each other more than you think." Jesper smiled before picking up Milo again and giving him some attention. I sighed and shook my head. Kaz was not getting away with this one lightly. He'd have to prove that he really could actually care about my feelings if he wanted me to go back across the Fold with him. If not then I'd stay here and start fresh.

We eventually reached a town where the Conductor got us a place to stay. It was a place owned by an old friend of his but that friend died so he'd bought it to eventually make it a workshop. He had his own set up in these parts so he left me, Jesper and Kaz in the rather large house and told us to all meet up later on by the market entrance. There was no way I was staying in the same place as Kaz for at least a day. I needed to cool off. So that's what I did.
"Chels where you going?" Jesper called, alerting Kaz to my exit.
"Advantage points and escape routes. An assassin is no good without them. Idiots..." I muttered the last word before walking out and slamming the door behind me. I took a deep breath in and released it slowly before pulling my hair up into a messy ponytail and setting out into the town to find somewhere else for the night. And the only way to do that was to generously tip the pub landlords.