The Azillian Princes. (Book 3)

CHAPTER 14

Xavier:

Living a life without one's mate wasn't supposed to be so hard but yet there it was, clear as day and as painful as the inevitable concept of death.

Over the years I'd learnt that there were certain things you could never run from no matter how much you tried, it had nothing to do with your efforts it was just what it was.

Sometimes I would walk into the office and I would go straight to the desk lady's space because she had an uncanny resemblance to Xenia, I would stare at her for a short while before taking the lift up,
After sometime that lady had stopped me mid-walk only to ask why I didn't just go ahead and tell the special lady how I felt about her instead of searching for her in everyone.

It had been a very valid advice except it never got to the part where she told me what I was supposed to say to her.
I had hurt her so much that even if she was standing before me I couldn't bring myself to even utter a word, that was how disfunctional and damaged we had made our relationship with our mate.

All those nights I would find myself so restless that I would leave my chambers and phase into hers, I would hear her endless tears and I thought that the best I could do was to take it all away except the unfortunate truth was that you could never take it all away when in reality you were the source of the problem to begin with.

Over the years it helped her get as much sleep as possible and I guess I had been so relieved by the fact that I could help her with something so important that I failed to think about the days I would not be present to take her pain away.

Over the years I would watch her pray that if a time ever came when there was a possibility that we could love her that she would do well to treasure those moments with her life.
At the time I always wondered why she never just rejected us because of the unfair way we were treating her, I wondered if she had so much faith that she just kept holding on.

I thought it would be okay, I thought all will be well, I thought her faith was enough for all of us but now I know it was very stupid and unreasonable of me to think that way.
How could it be okay when we never even made the efforts to make it okay.

Then I watched her get on her knees, looking so weak and vulnerable that I felt my heart break all over again, it reminded me of all the nights she stayed up praying for better days, it reminded me that we had failed her as brothers and as mates, and then she began apologising for things she never even did wrong, I thought that maybe we could take the chance to stop her pain and try working through our issues together but we were wrong.

We were too late because she had already exhausted whatever patience she had left for us, she was done with us and was ready to move on from us.
I'd been so close to getting on my knees and begging her to give us another chance but mother had stopped us, saying that she needed her space and we agreed because she deserved to be away from us after everything we had done to her.

We watched her get in her car and drove away from us and away from our foolishness, I always wondered if things would have been different if we had made better choices since the beginning.

Would we have a kid at least by now?, or would we have only mated and held back on having kids? Or probably we'd be touring the world because that was the one thing we always hoped to do together or would we just stay back and enjoy everything we had because we could?.

There were so many things I imagined but I knew my imagination could never fix it,
Apologies couldn't exactly fix anything either but I hope that it was at least a starting point for us.

A chance to fix everything we ruined when we decided to let our fear and guilt lead us and the way we lived our lives.

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Sorry I made this a shorter chapter.

I just needed to give you an insight on how Xavier was feeling about their situation and secondly I won't be updating for a while cause I got another book i am writing and I really need to finish that up asap.

I don't know what's going on and why y'all won't even vote or comment, been ghost readers makes it difficult for an author to know how anyone else feels about his/her work,  those of you whose books I've read would notice how engaged I get because I understand the importance of ratings and all that.

Thanks for clicking on this peice of mine.

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