Something Beautiful

8•something returned

Smile Umi.

You're beautiful.

Especially with no clothes on.

Like a creaking machine, her rigid body faced the owner of the voice and the memories flooded into her head. The bile of fear she swallowed was now rising to her throat, stealing her voice and blocking the air entering her lungs.

"Miss me?" The man pulled down the hood and revealed a smiling face.

Blood rushed to her head and Umi's vision was filtered red. Was it even possible to be terrified and be livid at the same time?

He stepped closer and she backed away. He stopped and watched, like how vultures do to a barely surviving prey. "No?" mock sadness twisted his expression. "I missed you, you know. Been thinking about you for almost a year too."

Umi gripped the ledge to support her buckling knees, shaking as if in rhythm to the pounding of her heart.

"I'm back for you. You know you're the only one I want. And everything I want, I get."

She was no longer able to step away nor utter a word. The visions of the past, the pictures, the hashtags and words along "She deserved it." spun in her head.

"You can't run away from me. I'm always here."

The nightmare already left, only then she was able to rearrange the expressions on her face. Her breathing was restored, rapid and shallow. Now she wore neither anger nor fear. The only signs of the storm were found in her still trembling hands.

"Umi?"

She was brought back to the din of laughter below, the honks of cars from the building traffic, and Ethan calling her name thrice.

"Is something wrong?"

She slapped his hand that nestled her cheeks.

"'Don't touch me!" she screamed over and over again. Tears sprung on her eyes, scorching her skin. "Don't! Please. Don't."

The more she pushed him, the more Ethan enveloped her with his embrace, until she lost the strength to fight back.

She fought him.

She did.

She fought him with all of her strength that day.

And she has been fighting ever since.

Against him, them, and herself.

Now she was tired, and her wails became sobs, then silence in Ethan's arms.

"Sssh... it's okay.."

"You can't run away from me."

"I'm always here."

"I'm always here."

Then she fought him again, unable to discern whose voice was whispering in her ear and her head. "I said don't touch me! Leave me alone!"

"Stop running! I promised 'didn't I? I'm just here."

"For what?"

The quiet was deafening, and it choked her, robbed her strength, just standing there still fighting.

"It's time to tell me everything. How can I... How can we save you from whatever you are scared of? Tell me what you feel. Everything."

"I don't need saving." Then she left.

Funny. How could she forget that he and Ethan were friends in high school? Ah. She didn't forget. She was too drunk and comfortable with her defeat, welcoming the warmth of her friends as they passed her fallen walls.