Deceitful (A Naruto Fanfic)

Chapter 65: Sakura

"When I said I wanted to apprentice under you and that I was eager to learn all I could about the mind, I meant that specifically in terms of application."

The room was quiet for a few seconds as we both processed this.

I tried to hide my surprise as Yamanaka-san groaned, slender fingers rubbing his temples.

"This was not where I expected today's conversation going."

"I'm not being impulsive or emotional. Also, I'd accept the challenge." I reminded, trying to seem unfazed by his demeanor. This was another example of him being invested beyond normal practice.

A wiser part of my brain was telling me to accept these signals and heed his warnings. The less wise part however, was louder.

Yamanaka-san broke my train of thought with his next words.

"I don't have to tell you that there is a reason that doctors don't treat family. We lose our sense of objectivity, for starters. Seeing as you yourself have trouble with maintaining a sense of perspective in regards to personal matters, I see this inevitably crossing boundaries."

"You didn't say I'm being impulsive or emotional."

That was a win so far.

"Sakura, the lines will be blurred even more than they already are! I thought you were happy that you were finally at a place where things were starting to clear." He stopped himself, shaking his head with a grim smile.

"I forgot you also thrive off of chaos."

"Challenges." I corrected.

"I could get you a crossword puzzle if you wanted a challenge. This is bordering on self-destructive." He warned.

"Doesn't it tell you something when I say I'm willing to keep it professional? That I am going to sacrifice the safety and intimacy I feel with him in order to treat him?" My voice raised an octave with my frustration taking root.

How could he not see that this was the only way we could both be saved?

I took a deep breath.

"Look, I'm not trying to be self-destructive at all. I don't have that urge anymore. I just want to get rid of his ghosts." I whispered honestly, hoping he could see reason.

"The first rule is to understand that you can't get rid of the ghosts. Keeping with the metaphor, you can only do so much as to turn on the light so it's not as dark in the house." He replied reflexively.

I waited a few seconds for it to click.

He grimaced as he realized he practically gave in, while I grinned at my well-earned victory.

Yamanaka-san shut his eyes and placed his face in his hands, the sturdy desk supporting the weight on his shoulders. The man across from me now looked both older and younger than his years.

He always seemed so much wiser than I could ever comprehend. He was never really at a loss for words; his silence was always intentional. As I waited for him to speak, I idly remembered he himself wasn't much older than Kakashi.

As I looked at the man sitting across from me struggle with his next move I had a small epiphany, if you could even call it that.

It was always a bittersweet sort of thing when you realized your mentors didn't have the right answers for everything. They were only human.
Not only that, but they were just as human as you.

No more and no less.

I let out a heavy sigh at my revelation, which was also when Yamanaka-san cleared his throat.