Irreplaceable

chapter 23 | sunlight

He faintly smiled. His dimples appearing for a second before disappearing. "You were actually pregnant?" He asked.

I looked down at my feet as I kicked the rock aside. "Yes," I revealed.

He cursed under his breath, "How did you— you know?"

"Car accident." I exposed, as I tried to keep my tears at bay. Holy fuck, stay strong Jasmin. "I lost my baby the same day I found out I was pre-pregnant."

My nails dug deep into my skin as one tear slipped my eye. "I-I thought you were in the hospital because of your anxiety and panic attacks."

"That's what I told Connor's parents because I didn't want anyone near me during that time. I told them something that they would believe easily." I clarified. "I was paralyzed for six months hence the reason I couldn't even fucking go to school. I didn't have a home. I was broke. And, on top of that my heart was fucking breaking per every second."

"These stitches on the side of my forehead are the constant reminder of what happen that day." I pointed to my forehead. "I killed myself on multiple occasions but something would always stop me. The first, being Xavier. And, because of you I fucking took out my rage of you on him. Now he's angry at me as well." I exhaled the smoke.

I looked at Chase to see his gray eyes filled with regret. I know he wanted to say a lot but he was holding it in himself. "Why are you back?" I asked.

He blinked, "I actually never intended to cross your path again. I already knew you wouldn't want to see my face ever again. But, I guess fate had other plans."

"The deal was my fault. I shouldn't have proposed the deal knowing how much it can affect your mental health." He added.

"I need your forgiveness." He breathed. "But, as I said it's too late." He shook his head, almost as if laughing at how jokingly funny his life has become. "But, till the day I die, I will beg for your forgiveness."

I looked away and sighed. "I'm sorry, I don't know if I can. I'm being selfish but I can't let myself go through all that pain again. All my eff—"

Before I could continue my phone rang, I answered "Hi, Jasmin." Axel greeted.

"Hey, Axel," I replied while covering my mouth as I yawned.

"Are you coming to my concert?" He asked.

"That's today?" I blurted.

"Yeah, it got postponed because of some sound difficulties, will you be able to make it?"

I looked back at Chase to see him deep in thought. He turned his head to look at me. "Yeah, I'll come."

"That's great, see you later." He ended the call.

"I-I have to go." I got up from the log.

"Right," He got up as well. "I'm sure you still want to get your stuff from the guesthouse." I nodded.

We walked together through the forest in complete comfortable silence although there was a big elephant in the room. He opened the door for me and I stepped inside.

I went into the bedroom and changed into my white tank top and jeans. I threw my hair into a messy bun and left the bathroom. I folded his dress shirt and placed it on the bed before collecting my MacBook and purse.

I was about to leave the room when my eyes caught my cardigan hanging from the closet handle. I went slower and picked up the cardigan. I smelled it and it smelled like a male cologne. As if someone held onto it tightly all night long.