Cuddle Buddies - Niko Vilhelm Moilanen | Blind Channel

Truth

Again, I answered with a simple nod. Of course, Niko had noticed when my mood had changed and could figure out why that was. He was such an attentive man! „That's what I thought and also why I am here. I want to clarify something in case you misunderstood it. Joonas and I, we kiss each other regularly", Niko continued and wanted to go on but I interrupted him. I didn't want to sound jealous because I had no right to be – he wasn't my boyfriend I wasn't interested in him, so I couldn't be jealous – but yet I wanted to know what was the story behind it. I needed him to clarify that.

„So, Joonas is your boyfriend? I don't have a problem with that, I'm totally opened minded when it comes to love – apart from pedophilia and zoophilia – and I have no problem with you in a relationship", I tried to explain but couldn't stop myself from thinking you wish as an answer to the second part of the sentence, „but I think you should have told me. I hugged you so tightly, caressed you and I don't know if Joonas would be bothered by that" „Sofia, you don't need to explain yourself. Especially not, because Joonas is not my boyfriend. He's one of my closest friends."

Now I looked at him confused. „But why did you kiss him if he's not your boyfriend?" „I guess Tommi hadn't told you about that... Me and the boys, we are extremely close friends and in our friendship, it's normal to hug each other or also comfort each other by kissing. It's part of our friendship. Okay, Joonas and I kiss more often than the others do but that's because we enjoy kissing so much. But Joel and Joonas sometimes kiss, too. Okay?", he asked me while putting his hand on my arm and starting to caress it.

His answer relieved me, even though it probably shouldn't because I shouldn't mind him maybe having a boyfriend. However, I guess I had to get used to that feeling... Luckily, his answer and admittedly also his soft touched lifted my mood noticeably. But on the other hand, his touches made me want more. I couldn't wait to cuddle any longer, I had to do it now. „Niko, I know there are still things we should talk about but I want to hug you right now. Even though you maybe admit not so nice things in a few minutes, I need to cuddle. I can't explain it but I feel like a need to be physically close to someone now", I whispered, looking at him apologizing.

„Sofia", he whispered back „you don't need to explain yourself. It's the same as with you apologizing all the time". After he had said that, he lifted one of the cozy blankets that was laying on my bed and carefully moved my body so that I found myself laying in his arms under the blanket a few seconds later. „Better?", Niko asked smiling and received a wide smile as an answer. „Definitely", I whispered before I buried my head in the crook of his neck. I loved being in that position, it made me feel comfortable and safe.

With my eyes closed, I started talking again. „As you know, Tommi followed me too and was here before you were. He was worried because I had left early and we had a talk. I probably shouldn't tell you this but... I'll do it anyways", I sighed before I continued. „He had already warned me of you before, especially because you allegedly weren't a good boyfriend according to Linnea. But... then we both realized Naomi was her best friend and since she's the queen of lying, Tommi wasn't sure anymore if she had told the truth. I just want to clarify things...

Even though I don't plan to end up being your girlfriend, don't get me wrong." I felt like I had to add the last sentence because my words probably sounded a lot like I was in love with him and wasn't sure if a relationship with him was good for me. But of course, it made Niko sigh again. „What did I say about explaining yourself?" „Sorry", I whispered and, needless to say, the man in my arms sighed again.

„I guess Tommi told you about me hiding things from Linnea and possibly cheating on her in some way, even if it was only by messages, right?", he assumed after a short moment of silence. „Yes", I answered a little ashamed. I just hoped Niko wasn't mad at Tommi for telling me about these way to private things! I felt bad myself for talking with Tommi about Niko's private live but I couldn't change it anymore...

„I should have told you the whole truth earlier. Not only half of it", Niko admitted and that way made me feel even worse. He hadn't done anything wrong, it didn't concern me so he definitely didn't have to tell me! „No", I tried to disagree but Niko totally ignored it. „Yes, I hid things from here, also one chat with another girl and as Tommi might have told you, one she was in love with me. But believe me – I never cheated on Linnea or texted inappropriate things!

These people I chatted with had a similar taste in music than I had, we could talk hours about that – something I couldn't do with Linnea. She wasn't interested in my passion at all... Sometimes, the girl Tommi talked about and I also talked briefly about meanings behind the songs, but not too deep. Often we also talked about her problems and I helped her. She was... she was suicidal which is why I texted her a lot, trying to help her and stop her from trying to commit suicide. I couldn't tell Linnea about that because she would have been too jealous and forbid me to contact that girl. That would have killed the girl.

And on the other hand, the girl had trusted me, I had to promise to not tell anyone about her thoughts", by his words, Niko touched me deeply. That definitely wasn't what I had expected! It kinda made me feel relieved because helping a suicidal girl is something I could never blame him for, even though she was in love with him. If he saved a life with texting her and helping her, there wouldn't have been any problem for me! But it also made me feel afraid. I was afraid of what happened to the girl, if she was okay now or if she... succeeded at what she had tried. „Is she...?", I wasn't able to say the horrible word.

„No", Niko said which caused me to let out a loud sigh. „I could convince her to accept help. Of course, she isn't totally fine and has still doubts but the times where she tried to kill herself are over. She now lives in Helsinki with her boyfriend who she got to know in her therapy group", he said and smiled a little. „Niko... I don't want to imagine how you must have felt back then... Helping a girl out of her misery, being blamed for allegedly cheating on your girl and not being able to talk about the truth", I whispered, still shocked by what Niko had told me.

„Yes... But luckily, this belongs to the past. The girl is okay and I'm not in a toxic relationship anymore. I have my boys who I can spend ours with just making music, laughing and sometimes also being in a cuddle mood. Speaking of cuddling, this is something I'd love to do now with you. Let's enjoy our time alone, without the guys, okay?", he asked and smoothly changed the topic. „I'd be the last one to stop you from cuddling with me!", I immediately answered and felt the smile that was back on my lips again.

Well... I guess this something nobody expected. But poor Niko.. He suffered a lot in his relationship only to help this girl. He's just way too caring... Tell me, what would you do in his situation?