I love you [cm oneshots]

19

"Can I hold your hand?" Spencer whispers looking up to Morgan who is standing next to him in the hospital, while Spencer is sitting down, trying not to keel over.

"No" Derek answers and starts pacing again, blaming himself for not noticing sooner, for not noticing that his friend had been falling apart under the grief. That he was so caught up in his own anger he hadn't noticed Spencer retrieving into an old coping mechanisms, he had first seen him using when he was just a kid, barely looking strong enough to carry his own files and back then Gideon had handled it. Gideon had gotten him a therapist, stopped the bleedings late at night, taught him ways to deal differently.

"I am sorry"

"I know, kid" Morgan stops for a moment and places a hand on his back, "I know, it's okay. I am not mad." He stays close for a moment before walking to the end of the waiting area again seeing where the goddamn doctor is. "I am gonna check with the nurse again, this is impossible."

"Don't make a scene."

"You are bleeding out"

"It's okay."

"It's not, stay here. I will be right back."

"Don't go please" Spencer whispers but Derek overhears it and starts walking down the corridor while Spencer gets more and more tired and he just wants to close his eyes for a moment. He just needs a little rest. And he knows he should stay awake, Derek told him. "Derek" he whimpers again before he slips of the chair, falling to the floor and closing his eyes.

"Spencer? Spencer wake up." A female voice calls, "Spencer, honey, you need to open your eyes." She says again and he does, looking up to the woman in the red shirt, her brown her tied together behind her head, her golden thin necklace hanging down from her neck, "Handsome, I thought you would be smarter than to close your eyes while bleeding out"

"Emily?" He questions, his voice so thin he thinks he will get overheard again.

"It's me, boy wonder." With a chuckle she helps him up. "Here, let me clean that." She uses her sleeve to clean the blood from his cheek that he landed on in his blood "That must itch like hell."

"How can you-" He stammers out. "How can you be here?"

"Think about it."

"I am not dead-" She laughs again. "I am hallucinating from the blood loss. You are not real."

"Do you see anyone else near by?" Anxious Spencer shakes his head. "Guess you are gonna have to trust me then."

"You are dead, you can't be here."

"There are things even you can't understand, Doctor Reid." She gets off the floor Spencer following her, the blood from his arm dripping onto the floor.

"Where are we going?"

"To find Morgan."

"Why?"

"We are gonna have a talk? Leaving you alone there?" She asks while rolling her eyes. "He is smarter than this, can't get his head out of his ass ever since I died."

"He is trying, he loved you so much." Spencer apologizes for him and they pass a door and suddenly stand in Spencer's apartment.

"Go lay down." Emily directs him, "I will make you tea."

"I am bleeding"

"Lay down on your bed, sweetie" He follows her comment, watching her tug her in. "Close your eyes, kid."

"I don't wanna go"

"You chose this." She places her hand on his forhead, "We will see each other again, you just gotta wait a few more years. Your time isn't up, handsome." Somewhere he can hear Derek's voice.

"Can I hold your hand?"

"Always" With a smile Emily takes his hand in hers, "I am always gonna be by your side no matter where you go, Spencer."

"Spencer?" He can feel another kind of warmth at his head, it feels stronger more present, it makes Emily's touch feel invalid, "Spencer hey, you are doing good, open those beautiful eyes for me."

"I don't wanna leave you." He whimpers looking at Emily who gets up from her seat, "Please, I wanna stay with you."

"Go to Derek, it's okay." She leans down kissing him on the forehead, "They all love you so much, go on. I will be waiting for you when you are old and your golden curls have turned gray."

"Spencer open your eyes" He can hear Derek's voice again, "Kid please"

"It's okay" Emily disappears through the door and Spencer closes his eyes, already feeling the pain of her leaving again.

"You are safe, I've got you." Derek whispers to the sobbing man, that he still isn't sure if he is conscious again, laying in the hospital bed.

"Emily" Spencer brings out and turns himself away, making himself as small as possible, tugging his legs up and hugging himself, "You took Emily away again."