I Was Right, Love Is Messy (TeacherxStudent) (GirlxGirl)

4. I'll leave you alone

The scene was hilarious though, she had her eyes wide open and a panicked face.

"I'm sorry I didn't-" I cut her off with my hand before she had the chance to continue.

"I'm really hurt, I'm not gonna lie here" I joked, and for her sake and worry, I made pretty obvious the fact that it was all a joke and that I wasn't really angry nor hurt. "But, since we are besties, you can repay me and fix my heart by spending lunch with me" I ended grinning.

She was taken a little aback by my request, however, she was visibly more at ease now that I made clear that I didn't mind if she made comments like those.

She teared her eyes apart from me just for one moment, she saw something behind me, and I was fighting the urges to look over there too.

"The red chicken has arrived to the nest" she said with a straight face but playful voice, and with that she walked away.

I stood there watching her leave, what was she talking about? Nest? Red chicken? She didn't even say anything about lunch today.

Oh my G-d, red chicken.

I quickly turned around and there it was, the red chicken.

Sofía was walking to the school with Nikki and Val by her side, none of them have noticed me yet because they were talking among themselves and looking at their phones.

It was still pretty early and there were only a few students in the school, so taking it as an opportunity, I ran towards Sofía, and after a few seconds her minions spotted me.

"Nope" Val said protectively.

"Sofía, can I talk to you?" I asked breathlessly, ignoring Val's comment.

"If you ignore her, she will leave" Nikki said trying to walk past me, dragging Sofía with her.

"Oh come on, can we be adults here?" I asked, walking backwards so I could follow Sofía and still look her in the face.

"Kate, just back off" Val said in a much gentle tone than what I was expecting.

I looked at her surprisedly for a split second before my attention went back to Sofía.

"Please Sofía, I'm trying here" I said in a whisper but laud enough for her to hear.

She finally looked at me, and for a few minutes I saw her face softened.

"Fine" she agreed.

Nikki and Val turned to look at her as if she were crazy, me on the other hand, I couldn't help but to smile widely at what to me seamed like huge progress.

"You aren't supposed to go back to your ex" Val pointed out.

"Never" Nikki added.

"I've already talked to her before and I survived, another five minutes won't hurt" Sofía dismissed them. "Go, I'll see you in 5 minutes" she added.

Nikki and Val looked at each other, and after directing Sofía a threatening look, they walked away, giving us some privacy as Sofía requested them.

"I see you still like pink" I said after admiring Sofía's whole pink outfit.

She rolled her eyes annoyed, but her demeanor was a welcoming one.

"Kate, I know I told you in London that one day I would forgive you...and its true...but that day is still very far away" Sofía explained, she bit her lip and waited for me to say something.

"What do you want me to do then? You want me to humiliate myself in front of you? That's what I've been doing the past few weeks but okay I'll do it again" I took a pause and shook my head. "You want me to get bullied? I am getting bullied" Another pause. "You want me to feel completely alone and miserable...I've been feeling that way since we broke up two years ago" I sighed.

Sofía stayed quiet, eyeing me intensely but not giving any signs of what she was thinking.

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry for not being what you deserve, for being a shitty friend and a shitty girlfriend; I'm sorry for cheating, I'm sorry for hurting you...I'm...sorry" I ended, my eyes were watering at this point, something that never happens with anyone but with Sofía.

"Kate..." she trailed off, looking at me with resentment. "I know you're sorry...you should be...and...I'm not as broken as I was when you, you know, cheated...so day by day I'm getting closer to forgiving you, but...getting closer doesn't mean that day is actually close" she explained.

I looked down while her words sink in, thought all this time, I was holding on to a future in which Sofía forgives me and I get my other half back...but what if that future won't ever be here?

"I appreciate you coming back for me, but...please leave me alone" Sofía pleaded, and I quickly turned to look at her with tears in my eyes.

"Wh- what?" I asked stuttering.

Sofía looked at me with pity, she knew how much I disliked showing vulnerability, but not even me being completely vulnerable to her, managed to break down her walls of change her decision.

"I still need time to, process...so...just give me space...and we can try talk things out then" Sofía explained, giving my hand a light squeeze for less than a second.

I looked at her, I was still crying softly, trying to hold back all my sadness. But less than a minute, that sadness turned into rage, something that happened to me way too often after Sofía left.

"I love you...I hope one day you'll see how much" I said quietly, with a mixture of anger and sadness in my voice.

There was so much that I wanted to tell Sofía...things didn't happen as she thought they did. I didn't cheat on her just because I felt like it, I didn't start dating her for the reasons she is thinking either.

I wanted to scream, I wanted to scream that everything I did was to protect her. Because I love her.

But because I love her...I can't tell her any of that, and instead, carrying the weight of loving her...I wonder if loving Sofía is so exhausting for anyone.

I started walking away, angry with life, Nikki, Val, my parents, Sofía...and myself.

"Kate!" Sofía called worriedly.

"I'll leave you alone, don't worry" I responded without looking back.

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