Chapter 4- My heart bleeds seeing him in pain.

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I need to leave. I need to leave as soon as possible. I can't hurt him more. I shouldn't have gone near him in the first place. I shouldn't have let my emotions overcome my senses, I hurt him all over again.

He doesn't deserve the pain I give him again and again. Why did I go there? Why did I ask him to embrace him? With what right did I ask him to comfort me when it was me who broke him not the other way round.

A hand clasped around my wrist making my steps halt.

"Stop running Avni. You need to talk to him.", her words were stern." Your actions suggest you are done with him...forever. Do you realize how void he felt when you ran from his arms like that? You didn't.", she whirled me so that now I had to face her." Why are you tormenting him so much? What do you want?", Liza yelled at me.

What do I want?

I want nothing but him.

'Stop asking something that isn't possible.'

"Leave me alone Liza.", my voice was void of all expressions. I was feeling exhausted. Will my misery ever end?

Stars! I am tired, tired of sacrificing everyone I love, tired of fighting, tired of running. I just want to rest.

Even if it is possible in my grave.

"Stop hurting him Avni. All his life he has only seen pain. After a decade I saw bliss on his face just because of you, please don't snatch it from him.", she cried and it made my chest hurt. I was angry at her for making me meet him. I was angry at Mr Khanna for caring about me even when I hurt him so much. I was angry at myself for being such a f*cking coward. 

"What do you think Liza? Doesn't my heart bleed every time I think about him? Every f*cking day I sink deeper in the ocean of guilt knowing I'm the reason behind his pain. I know I'm the reason behind his sleepless nights, behind his suffering. I f*cking know and that's why I had told you not to tell him about my whereabouts still you go and set our meeting. How did you dare to do this Liza? Why did you do this?", my knees gave up in the middle of the cemetery where I ran aimlessly."Why the hell do you do this?"

"I just want you two together. You both are torturing yourselves like this.", her voice was rough but I could hear the solicitude in it.

"We are not meant to be together Liza.", I whispered." He and I were never meant to be. We are not destined, so stop trying for heaven's sake...Please.", I begged her.

"I won't.", her answer was straight and it made my chest tighten with agony. Why doesn't she understand?

"Liza your efforts are futile, they'll only earn pain for Mr Khanna and I don't want it."

"Without you also he's in pain."

"He'll get over me soon.", I muttered but the thought itself made my heart shatter. 

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