I Don't Care (Peterick/side Trohley)

19

fuck my life i feel bad for this chap

AND THIS IS PTRICK EXCEPT HIS HAIR IS NOW DARK GREEN

YOU'LL UNDERSTAND THE PIC LATER ON IN THE CHAPTER.

Bang the Doldrums
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n i n e t e e n

"Patrick?" I choke out. I feel tears forming in my eyes, threatening to fall. His eyes go wide as he pulls away from Bob Bryar. That fucking asshole.

I know how Elisa felt now. I make a mental note to definitely fucking apologise.

"Holy smokes, Pete," Patrick's lips are red when he says that, and I need to leave before I get sick. "Wait, Pete," He grabs my arm. I still, putting a hand over my mouth before I really do get sick.

"You.. you asshole. I tried so hard to be perfect to you. Perfect for you. I-I.. fuck you. I wish I'd never met you. Then there would be no need to impress you. No need to fucking want you constantly. No need for crying over you. No need for heartbreaks, pain, tears. No need for forgotten promises," I think back to Spring Break (which was almost a year ago) and the time he said he'd never leave me. No, he never left me, but this is worse. "No need to love you, because, fuck, I do. I'm in love with you, and I hate myself for it," The grip on my arm loosens, and Patrick looks like he's going to cry. I don't care.

I walk out of the studio with tears streaming down my face. The first place I'm going is to Elisa's. I have to apologise.

The drive is quick and silent, and I'm glad Patrick told me where she lived when they were dating. I get out of my car as soon as I get there so I won't talk myself out of it. I knock twice.

"I.. Pete?" Elisa's eyes widen when she opens the door and sees the state I'm in. She ushers me in abruptly. "What's wrong, Pete?"

"I'm so sorry, Elisa," I'm going to start crying again if I'm not careful. She'd probably just laugh. Her facial expression softens.

"It's okay, Pete," She hugs me. That's not what I expected, but I hug her back. "Now why are you crying?"

"He cheated on me, Elisa," is the last thing I get out before I'm in tears. She looks shocked as she pulls me back in for another hug.

"I'm surprised, actually. I thought he loved you," She whispers. She's patting my back now, trying to calm me down.

"Me too," I mutter into her shoulder.

--

"You did what?!" Joe yells at Patrick. Sure, I'm in the other room with Andy, but Joe is so fucking loud. I sigh and bury my head in my hands.

"Come here," Andy grabs my arm and tugs me off of the floor to sit in between his legs on the couch. He hugs me from behind. "You're going to be okay," He says into my shoulder.

"I hope so," I say. It's not loud enough for him to hear.

"Get him the fuck away from me before I slap him," Joe comes walking into the room with Patrick in tow.

"Patrick," Andy warns. Joe's just pacing back and forth in front of me and Andy. Patrick drops his dark green head and walks back into the kitchen.

"I'd be so pissed if you were anyone else, Pete. I don't like guys cuddling with my boyfriend," I roll my eyes and laugh for the first time since Patrick and I unofficially broke up two months ago.

Joe decided that he should talk to Patrick and find out why he did it. I know why he did it. He did it to show me. To get back at me for my stupid mistake from over a year ago with Mikey.

What he doesn't realise is that I'd do everything to go back and change that one night. He wouldn't believe me anyways.

"Yeah, yeah," I say and wince as I hear the door slam. Patrick must be mad. I would be. I mean, his best friend and his best friend's boyfriend both took his ex-boyfriend's side. I'd be pissed at Andy.

"What did he say to make you get so mad?" Andy asks. He must not have caught on.

"He said that he didn't even care. Like I told him to apologise, and he said 'why should I? It's not like I did anything wrong.' And I got pissed," Joe explains, shaking his head. That would've pissed me off too.

"It's okay. He'll come around. Just like he'll come around and realise that if he doesn't stop dying his hair, he'll end up with none. Besides, that blue looked good, and he had to go and change it," Andy says, pouting.

"He changed it because I like it," I say simply. Andy shakes his head.

"No way, man. He's not that cruel," Andy assures me.

"I could actually see Patrick doing that. He can be a little bitch when he wants to," Joe says. I nod my head. True that.

"But you're okay, right?" Andy and Joe both turn to me. I smile.

"Of course,"

--

"Hey, Patrick," I say when I find him sitting on my doorstep.

"Can I come in?" He doesn't look up, his gaze focused on his shoes.

"Yeah, sure," I unlock the door and let him go ahead of me. "Something you need?"

"Why are you so calm about this?" He asks, and once again, his gaze is trapped on his shoes. "I fucking cheated on you, and I don't feel bad for it,"

"I'm letting go, Patrick. You let go a long time ago, and I realised that it's time for me to do the same," He looks up after I say that, unshed tears in his eyes.

"What if I don't want you to let go?" He whispers, but I still hear it. I don't think I was supposed to, though.

"Patrick--" I'm cut off when he holds his hand up.

"I wrote a song for you," He says simply, walking away from me. I furrow my eyebrows but follow him anyways. He's going to grab my acoustic from my room. When he appears with my black acoustic guitar and a pick in his mouth, I sit down and shut up.

The song is amazing, to say the least. I can't stop thinking about the 'Best friends, ex-friends till the end. Better off as lovers, and not the other way around' part, though. Did he mean it? Why do I hope that he meant it?

"I'm sorry, Pete. I understand if you want to kick me out right now and--" I cut him off by kissing him and pushing him against the counter. It takes him a few seconds, but he responds with the same.

I hope we're both making the right decision.