I Don't Care (Peterick/side Trohley)

11

The Kids Aren't Alright
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e l e v e n

"Pete, what's up with you?" Patrick asks me. I look at him, barely able to keep my eyes open.

"I have terrible insomnia, and I lost my Ambien," I say, struggling to make full words. "My doctor said that he can't give me another dose for two months because that's how long the last one was supposed to last," His eyes go wide.

"Wait, what? I didn't know you had insomnia," He looks astonished. I nod.

"Yeah, I can't sleep well at all. I'm supposed to take two a night, but I haven't had one in, like, a week and a half," I tell him. "I don't know, I must've misplaced my bottle or something,"

I can see the lump in his throat as he says, "Maybe I could help you look for it?" I nod. Why is he nervous all of a sudden? Did he break up with Elisa and wants to make his move? I get excited.

"We can go now," I say, getting up. I grab the blanket that I had wrapped around my shoulders and drape it back over my shoulders. Patrick gives me a weird look. "What?"

"We just got to Andy's house because he wants us to watch a movie with him and Joe. It's traditional movie night that we've had since the band started. You sure you wanna skip out on it?" He gives me another weird look as he talks.

I don't hesitate in answering. "Yeah," Andy comes back in the room, and Patrick shakes his head at me but gets up anyway.

"We're gonna jet," Patrick tells him, and he groans.

"Come on, man. You guys always leave us alone," Andy whines. I blink. Did he just say that?

"You know, pretty soon we're going to graduate, and you're going away. You better spend as much time as you can with him because you won't be around him forever," I say. Andy's mouth is wide open.

"Maybe I wanna hang with my best friend and the guy he's in love with too!" Andy screams, making Joe run in the room. Patrick and Joe share a look of pure confusion.

"Maybe your best friend wants you to hang with your boyfriend because he can't accept the fact that he'll probably never see you again!" I yell back, walking off. I sniff and wipe my eyes.

I run as fast as I can to my house and go to my backyard. Because our neighbourhood is mostly on a hill, it's got a nice view of the rest of Chicago. So I sit at the top of the hill, knees hugged close to my chest, trying not to cry.

About thirty minutes later, Andy comes and stands beside me. "Hey," He says, sitting down next to me.

I turn away, refusing to answer. He didn't do anything to me, and I'm acting like a baby, I know. He's done nothing but be my best friend.

"Petey," He pinches my cheek, and I laugh. "There he is,"

"I'm sorry," I say honestly. He shakes his head.

"You know, if you felt this way, you should've told me. I won't go if you don't want me to," He sighs, sending me a weak smile.

"You're going, Andy. No matter if I want you to or not. You've wanted this since we started playing when we were three," He shakes his head again.

"Wrong. What I've wanted since I was three is a best friend that loves me to death and thinks about me before himself," He says.

"Sorry you got me instead," He hits my arm.

"Pete, you just told me that no matter what you wanted, you were going to let me go. That's more than I could've ever asked for," He pulls me towards him and hugs me. "Thank you, Peter. I love you," I can't hold back the grin that overtakes me.

"I love you more," He smiles back at me.

"That's not possible, loser," I stick my tongue out at him.

"Okay, okay, you love each other equally as much. Now come on before I punch Pete in the face," Joe says when he and Patrick come walking up.

"Fine," Andy huffs, walking over to Joe. "Carry me home?" He sticks out his bottom lip, making Joe whimper.

"How am I supposed to say no to that?"

"Alright, we should probably go inside before they rip each other's clothes off," I say to Patrick, and he nods, coming inside with me. "Okay, so let's look for my bottle of Ambien first,"

"Pete, you might wanna sit down," He says. I'm confused. What?

"Why?" He gestures for me to sit down anyways.

"Okay, first of all, I know you're going to be pissed at me," I furrow my eyebrows, but he puts a finger up and keeps going. "You might want this," He reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out my half full bottle of Ambien.

"Patrick.. why do you have my Ambien?" He looks scared to tell me. "No, tell me. Now. You took it, tell me why," I demand.

"I, uh, Andy told me what happened a few years back, and I saw it when you were sick. I know it's not Ativan, but it's still a powerful drug. I got worried, and--" I cut him off.

"You don't trust me," I say quietly, tears forming in my eyes. His blue ones go wide.

"No, it's not like that, Pete,"

"You don't fucking trust me!" I say louder. He looks downright terrified.

"Pete, please," He says calmly.

"Get out," I say slowly. "Get the fuck out,"

He gets up and leaves without looking back. Patrick doesn't trust me.